i was sitting, doing nothing, and it started to rain, pouring down, thunder, wind . . . and i got up, walked outside and stood motionless in the storm.
I could feel the warmth of my tears and the cool of the rain trickle down my face.
The storm died eventually,
as does everything . . and that's all i have to say
hope all are dry and safe
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
i dunno, really i don't. I gotta write some stuff down, it's gotta get out of my head.
Nothing is right. I don't know what is though. Dunno where i'm going or been. Dunno where i should, could, wanna go. I DUNNO WHERE I AM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gotta get me out of here . . . nowhere to go, no safeness. I need to hide or a silence or something, not this. Nothing matters, having trouble existing, can't think straight, so many thoughts ideas questions.
Screaming inside, constantly endlessly.
I could just run forever, gotta run far away enough, fast enough to get away. OH
how i need peace. please please please . It's all so intense and i don't even know what it is.
So intense, more than an everything problem, more than an everything, more than a problem, it's not nothing, it's not something . . . not a feeling, thing, word, thought.
Can't turn away, can't face it, can't listen, can't ignore embrace touch hear it. No sense. Nothing makes sense. Everything i say is wrong, these words are wrong . . . so i'll go.
don't try and make sense of it all - it doesn't
i failed and i will be punished
i don't know where to go now, what i should do. Nothing is as it should be . . . nothing
There is literally no i ,
just swirling water that dimples into little pools . . .