that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed !
( in his case promoting way poorer translations by others
than he himself is capable of )
that is, you go around supporting everyone else
when you own talent is much greater
and you should be doing your own work !
whereas it erodes the continuity of the world
one of the easiest ways to see this is the ancient egyptians views of the afterlife ,
an absurd projection to us
but quite meaningful to the egyptians
as evidenced by the huge efforts and resources put into their tombs : o)
but it's just a meaningless projection of continuity : o)
i guess i'm saying this over and over again “wisdom literature”, homilies and that sort of understanding is the way to go for non-celibates, it's pretty much the same road and works way better !
zazen just seems to turf people into “a ghost cave” in the old vernacular and toss away the key : o )
mother teresa was a celibate and there's this sense of whatever her/the external conformance to the catholic dogma, she was free to be true to her interior beliefs which were really quite atheist : o )
your first priority is your family or partner and infinity/buddha comes second !
as the one authentic realised master alive today i have that freedom which is necessary to pursue this, like look at the all the abuse and rejection i get on the message boards and blogs, ordinary life does not permit a person to hang around in that sort of environment, i do it because i pursue what infinity is about and generally it's quite productive in a drab way ; o )
just last night after a bruising bout on zafu frog's blog, i finally figured why shallow idiots like him think zazen is like some sort of final answer, it's because you are all family men or if you don't have families, are bound up in the pursuit of sex and partners, from this activity base zazen looks like something, but it's a crooked shadow of buddha !
i don't know wether you will pass this post or not, but your limitation is you find the need to moderate me, for myself i have put the attention and work in and am covered wether this post makes your new hczb or not, and that's basically the difference between us, for me buddha/infinity is first and you all compromise and are compromised with your really first priorities which are your narcissistic selves and lives : o )
it's not monasticism but celibacy dogen was saying is a pre-condition
maybe it's a removal from the cycle of life, pursuing your continuity in children however indirect that may be, is too strong a conflict with realizing life as a desert and limited and pointless : o )
tassajara is a toxic hell hole btw !
in that pic booze and unleavened bread, what an unhealthy combination.
it's no good working like that, you need heaps of real solitude
ed. the above post must have pricked him because it was actually deleted, normally he or jaycee leave the post there “pending moderation” like they are some benign guru tolerating my “inappropriate outbursts” ! : o )
well this post exposes you brad and you know it
if you the reader think i am harping in on brad warner a bit, i don't think i am, he has a genuine understanding but stops well short of the road he needed to take and even now is charging full steam into what will kill him as i have explained before
before all else he needs to look at supplementation and diet to address his lengthened huntingtin gene, but this is beyond him, women and sex limit his horizons, (brad, get rid of that darrah woman, ( friend indeed! ), she is toxic and you are both too damaged together : o ) like all on his new hczb !
that's why they remove me of course, their obviously insane views about what zen is don't stand up in bright light : o)
it's funny what our real interests and abilites are, in a different life i could have been a gossip columnist
you tell me why that's an instruction and not actuality and don't give me your usual blathering avoidant generalities !
btw i have half a million words on my web page, the vast majority of which are my own : o )
you married with kids types bounce into a celibate tradition (the real zen that is and not the japanese married crap) expecting it's as easy to pick up and get right as several hours a week zazen, you trivialize any zen great who spent years and their lives in exhaustive search and work with your fake social learning and living in a ghost cave : o )
i'm telling you, this imagined state you claim to enter into in zazen is in fact a deep sickening and amplification of your worse character traits which are being very very closed and thinking you have right when you have it wrong!
plus a native slackness about doing any real work : o )
“ you're trying to school me on the benefits of reading, even after i wrote this: “ by the way, i don't frown on reading at all. I have read plenty... ”
i'm not saying you don't read, i'm saying you read easy to understand bullshit and avoid the difficult quality works, i challenge you to post some specific passage you have read and why you think it is worthwhile !
of course you are right in that the books and translations you read have nothing worth knowing in them, but this is a problem of your lack of discernment in picking quality texts which is really the root issue
and the “ spiritual” world is way wider than zen, as i said if you won't read emily dickinson, han shan or basho then you have problems
see reading is part of zen and being able to express oneself in a manner that reflects one's experience is all part of what it is about : o )
these people felt the need to express themselves, you have your head in the sand if you think that inspired written expression is not the living reality of what zen / “the spiritual” is about
your views , unfortunately are so much part of the “grunt zen” prevalent these days with uninspired purblind twits moping about trying to justify their unrealness, lack of life experience and plain ignorance !
“ the color of the mountains is buddha's body
the sound of running water is his great speech ”
i'll tell you what does stink and that's clichés, you guys hear what you don't want to hear which is that you are on the wrong road, then flick off a cliché or two in reaction not understanding that contact with buddha is marked by originality !
if you want to criticise me then look at what i say and criticise it if you are able too, saying someone “stinks of zen”, which, while a scent you are certainly familiar with is called arguing on the person and not really at first base : o )
look at the difference between your rather pathetic pic attached to that quote of dogen and this pic taken in the goat rocks wilderness, washington state
that pic difference says everything, what the fuck are you doing with your life to get so screwed up?
i really think you guys think zen is flinging a few quotes around : o )
“ do not follow the mistaken ideas of others, but learn to listen to your own voice ”
what is it saying? when you hear it originality will pour forth like a full clear stream kerplashing down the mountainside
“ beneath and beyond and infused with every happening, is simply what you are, untouched by the story, whatever that story may be; the story, of no import, is also the point, the play of life, the delight of existence. whatever is happening, that is the point: simply that it is happening. what you are is what you are. it is perfect and untouched, no matter what. so STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! ”
( ed. some contact that day with suicidal depressives ? )
ok, it took me a while to understand this, but in zen terms she is talking about ourselves being in identity with who we are which of course is infinity in life : o )
i have had trouble with her writings as they are high in voynich, but have felt there is some core message that is correct and unusual to see (non-existant in the spiritual concourse : o ), some transmutation of the usual advaita turd ridden crap about “that” into the gold of infinity being our lives in identity with themselves, the unvarnished what is occuring without fantasy or story telling ; o )
btw it's very viral at the moment and the ones going around this winter/spring (southern hemisphere) summer/autumn (northern hemisphere) appear to have quite a footprint of severe depression
best advice he has ever had but will stay in his kamikaze dive to hell : o )
it's going to be bad in ten years and there's a hell of a lot he could do now, but will no doubt enjoy the sort of medical crucifixion that that is hell on earth
he's already in the intial stages of dementia and of course “birds of a feather flock together” hence the clutch of demented that post on the new blog !
that should be “form of huntington's disease”, it's a spectrum and in ten years it will be interesting to see what has happened : o )
jesus, how depressed do you have to be to say that?
getting involved in the suicidalness of others
photograph by scott smorra
there could have been a story where he was married and had 10 kids with mary!
it's still a story : o )
one of the secrets with youtube and this sort of video is to turn the stupid music off !
a narrow, unimaginative twit : o )
you won't read quality like some of the better translations of han shan, that's your barrier !
in 20 - 30 years you will be the same, some sort of pathetic zen reject so sure you know it all, but unable to converse beyond “grunt grunt” and think that enlightenment : o ) !
as you most likely know, huntingtons is caused by repetition of sequences of a gene promoting glutamine pathways, interestingly it one of those ability/disability gene mutations because those with it have a superior intelligence and learn better
alzhiemers can be similar, those with a superior anti-oxidant brain system that makes for higher intelligence in early life, but as one gets older it works the other way !
so the number of repetitions in the huntingtin gene governs the severity of the disease, probably you don't have the degree of expression of your mother, and dimensionally who knows what the variants of huntingtons are, but an ongoing mild destruction or snipping of neural axons may be quite on the cards for you !
as we get older, these conditions accumulate/accentuate, for instance i am faced with having some sort of blood disorder that makes me very migrainey and thick blooded and without having worked out things like taking iodine to thin it, i think i would be in constant pain and feeling so blowsy to the point making life not very liveable !
what i suggest is for you to start thinking about supplementation and a more intelligent dietary modification than unvarnished vegetarianism to help tide you through the difficulties !
i think your vegetarianism is hitting a few right spots for your condition by reducing animal glutamate like milk and pig skin for example
msg and any other neuro-exciters would be something to avoid
i do feel that the high bread/wheat flour diet of tassajara affected you adversely, plus the viral contact of all the other “living dead” there : o )
richard baker must have good genes , he's 76, married a member of european royalty in 1999 and fathered a child at age 64, we don't have those genes and actually he has been too healthy to understand shit about zen
small amounts of zinc as per my page will help by toning down the glutamine excitation !
now one of the problems with zen teaching is you get to share breathing space with alot of people whose health is marginal, that is they have mild or not so mild immune and other conditions that makes them what i call viral shedders , this constant exposure to these people is a viral stress your brain (or anyones - doctors, nurses and dentists get way affected !) cannot cope with
in short you are on the road and have been on the road to doom with this pursuing of real life contact in zen !
the bloody inner shirt is all our's paradigm, that's the real truth of infinity/buddhism whatever, you have to be very damaged and literally half or 3/4 dying to see what it's all about : o )
i have a health message board where these things can be discussed or there is the old hardcore zen blog, i am not keen on your new blog because the moderation is inept, tho zen is all about crossing boundaries , jayce seems unable to cope intelligently with anything that stretches him : o )
i know you are going to ignore this, i just thought i'd try, already i have seen so many people fall by the wayside from healthissues........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just your usual silence and ignoring what you don't want to think about which is actually a coping strategy for the sort of constant brain damage you are undergoing : o )
it has been helpful to have placed you within the huntingtons spectrum and i certainly recognise many (but not all ; o ) of your traits in myself !
zen and religion is so full of over confident badly behaved arseholes that there's no winning and the only revenge is to live longer and in better health than one might have otherwise done and paradoxically removal from this band of the “the living dead” is needed to facilitate that : o )
unless you make changes you could be mentally and life function incapacitated within ten to 15 years : o )
i'm feeling that way myself already ;/: o )
was han shan mad? hakuin? ryokan? dogen?
ever heard of crazy wisdom? the real crazy widsom, that is wisdom outside the boundaries of sense?
am i a bird or a slug or the cartwheeling sun ? : o )
i'm not being mean, but when i listen to your talks, you've got no show, the writing is much better...........
whatever the future holds for you, as a zen teacher sustaining the the illusion is at a huge personal cost to you, that blood soaked inner robe has quite abit to tell you
i've seen people like you who have done it for 30 years and they are pitiable, more contracted at the end than when they started
yeah you only believe crap artists spilling shit don't you !
you of course in 30 years will be one of those who have made themselves way worse : o )
you are already that in the two and ahalf? years you have been doing zazen?
tho of course aging does that anyway : o )
just reading back to the beginning of your blog, you were saner then : o )
sounded like a real human being and not one of these angry denial clones that zen turns out : o )
you obviously don't seem to realise that zen is now a shadow of its former popularity in the west, i personally think lsd during the hippie era had a lot do do with this, but it's been going since the seventies, i was involved intensely from about 88? to say '93 when i started to distance myself from the con, unlike you i am quite well travelled in zen having visited and stayed more than afew centers over the years
i even got kicked out of john loori's “monastery” at mount tremper in the catskills : o )
fgs (for god's sake) “waking up to ourselves” jesus do you have one original thought in your head?
your problem is the usual one, taking what is a celibate practice that's really screwed up and needs a lot of straightening out when your first priority and what all your time really goes into is your family !
i am not married, no kids and what this is about has always been the central focus of my life !
humans prefer glossy crap to plain sense anyday is what i have learnt : o )
i am quite abit older than you think and should be flattered i guess ; o )
joshu sasaki is 105 , don't think i am going to make that ;o)
you need to start walking away from zen, you need the solitude of time by yourself, but also this so important “leavening” of some quality reading like my writings , it's precisely what you don't understand you need to address, not follow the bilge that is understandable to you : o )
even more importantly than all that, your brain health is collapsing and i have heaps of health writings in my compendium, but this is the reality, neurally and physically you are crapping out and nothing can fix that except an active interest in my health writings so you will continue to fall by the way like all the rest, while i, who practice what i preach get thought 15 to 20 years younger than i really am : o )
“ shikantaza is really the only viable practice with zazen,
that really intentionless state of being and observation ”
can you see that your view that it is beneficial
(presumably to oneself!) is not intentionless?
where people come to grief with zazen (99.99%)
is they do not have anything like a sufficient background
in the sort of abstract thinking and reading
that leavens the schizophrenic tendency of zazen
to deepen and entrench existing thinking !
so your typical product of zen these days
is some closed, culturally limited retard
culturally limited retard!
below the knee is where the clots form as this area is the furtherest and lowest from the heart creating the highest venous pressure, but it's very much a function of genetics, cardiovascular health, sitting postion, time sitting AND AGE
like i think you would have to be crazy to sit anything but seiza !
i was struck by a recent report of autopsies of american soldiers who had died in iraq and afghanistan saying how these young men had the cardiovascular systems of men 20 years older !!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i understand that that japananese who have traditionally have had very good cardiovascular health are now getting the usual western problems!
and of course we spend so much of the day sitting now, not like the monks of old who would have been physically very active all day working, often in the fields !
so there's a somewhat complex cardiovascular risk there, depending and actually it's reasonably well known in zen as they do the kinhin between sits and don't keep the sits too long !
a little bit of zazen would give you a little bit of freedom from the lunatic in your head. he's in control andrew. you need to wake up to him
now that's better, your own words and what you actually think : o )
i live literally almost like a hermit in the countryside, zazen is for all you married suburban types who don't have a clue and only want to get blood clots from the restricted movement : o )
i have no lunatic in my head, i am completely and utterly insane to your sort of world : o )
well keep reading my web writings, let the lunacy take grip of you and shred you to to little bits : o)
i don't think you are at all normal and are frightened by what is opening up
you can be insane in the world, i seem to get away way with it : o )
it's a skill that develops, i don't wish the grief on you, you are probably moving at the pace you can cope with but zazen is putting you on this course, reading my “web ramblings” aka the voice of a truely enlightened master ;o) even at this point has been helpful to you : o )
i don't think you understand what is happening to you with zazen, it's highly recursive and destabilizing your world, you should seriously look at what i am saying or stop
shikantaza is really the only viable practice with zazen, that really intentionless state of being and observation : o )
zazen needs to be leavened with abstract understanding and not blind denial !
actually how mad is it to call crap and how mad is it to write such utter complete bilge like you (ed. zafu frog) do?
(ed. quote source unkown, possibly lama lödrö rinpoche)
“ if playing dice with one pointed, unwavering contemplation, can one really realize the meaning of non-action and beyond mind? ”
so you are not entirely a waste of time fred, you do have a sense sometimes of what it is about !
(the lsd that screwed your brain? lsd is not throwing the dice btw, just crushing your brain biochemistry unrecoverably with a sledge hammer : o )
it's like jumanji, you click the right combination, almost accidently but in actual fact the fruit of years of endeavour and disenchantment with life and the doors of infinity open and you are one with it and see what it's about !!!!!!!
as i say once the doors have opened then the beauty and richness of infinity is accessible to you and pasting voynich is seen for what it is............the craziness of a starving and malnourished world that thinks shit is a christmas pudding : o )
the proof of the pudding in in this richness reflected in your own life and creative work and what you do and by that logic, you can see all you's with your crap posting of what is not yours is alienated !
it's just amazing to me that what i say is so unpalatable and rejected and is really quite straight forward, but then this has always been the way of enlightenment :/; o )
you cannot live a conventional life and go through the vast /huge amount of shifting of/through dross that is necessary to turn up the gold silver ore and diamonds, it's just not possible : o )
by the world's standards it's incomprehensible, insane and actually to all practical purposes a sort of living suicide : o)
if you don't think those apply to you then you are not doing it and as i say the wisdom literaure approach is way better and more appropriate for you and yields more than a modicum of what it's about : o )
now you can feel anything you write has length : o )
they take drugs like coffee so you can never be quite sure what is happening !
i liked boston : o ) !
maybe brad is worn out from all the sex at tassajara or has found unity with a pizza lunch?
they need a new fresh post there brad from you to validate their discusting semen, it so sickens even them that need you to cover for them !
what you are doing one might well ask................................................................................
the real zen masters of old could reply to this sort of thing but the flakes these days just hide and ignore, whimpering into their borritos, pizzas and miso soup, that's why I SACKED THEM ALL !
there has been endless amounts of energy burnt on the wrong targets :o)
a $25 application fee to give 5 mths free labour to the sfzc !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
150 people ! compulsory morning and evening zazen
a toxic, ill informed vegetarian diet
brad warner, i can't believe you have gone back a second time : o )
mysterion criticised this post and my reply was
proof of the pudding is in the eating vegysterion
my health especially circulatory health is good, we know you can't say the same
i am an hallucinating pyschotic delusionist tho
only yesteday i had a vision of you being forced to do zazen on a lava lake in hell.........
for good luck i put on my asbestos boots, waded out and pushed your head under : o ) ----------------
btw i mean that some vegetarian diets are toxic in the sense of being high grain (especially wheat) and otherwise ill informed
that given being a vegetarian there are intelligent approaches compared to the stupid and toxic vegetarian diet at tassajara (yes TWO bakers on the staff) which goes someway to explaining how brain dead the staff are there
tassajara means “the place where meat is hung to dry”
a new understanding, only accessible through the exhaustion : o )
of course the trick is to survive , attention to diet, supplements and sleep to promote the needed physical robustness
the whole problem is we don't long for it, indeed it's only when forced on us and we can see that something more is required than simple avoidance that the potential for moving forward is there !