this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















what


happens


when


you


write


so


much


you

pray

for


it


to


stop


flowing ?


you


write


more !
















the


future


is


not


predictable


the


past


is


not


understandable


and


the


present


is

neither


predictable


or


understandable !


to


say


nothing


of


this


moment


:


o


)


(
















the


future


is


not


predictable


the


past


is


not


understandable


and


the


present


is

neither


predictable


or


understandable !
















seren-

dipity


serene


dipity


:


o


)
















serendipity


= ' s 


  infinity ?
















serendipity


= ' s 


infinity ?
















if


we


lose

the


war


and


i


am


alive


that's


better


than


if


we


win


the


war


and

i


am


dead


of

course

we


can


still


lose


the


war

and


i


be


dead !
















i think you are well suited to being a pyschologist or whatever because you have no respect for anyone's opinion but your own which is the way most of them are, perhaps it gives them an erroneous rod of certainty working in an area that raises way more questions than there are answers !
















you


seem


quite

confident


about


being


the


7th


zen


patriarch

well


yes


quite


often


what


we


seem


is


what


we


are !
















d

r

o

p

i

t

c

l

u

n

k

:


o


)
















to


see


infinity


you


have


to


be


in


love


with

everything


how


beautiful


and


cruel


that


is !
















criteria


or


criterion ?


it's


common


usage


and


not


the


dictionary


definition


that


defines


the


meaning


of


a


word !
















a


good


criteria


when


you


are


dealing


with


people


is


how


needy

are


they?
















hang


on


by


your


teeth


brad


but


at


some


point


they


fall


out !


how's


that


for


an


obituary !


lol !


   weird watching some-one deliberately kill themselves !
















zen


is


not


about


sitting


it


doesn't


work


it's


a


monk


management


technique


that's


all !


makes


for


morons


in


my


observation.


mental


cripples !
















the

hardcore


zen


blog


is

a


very


dull


board


without


the


rabid


anonymouses
















why


are


people


shockingly


self


assured


about


matters


they


are


woefully


ignorant


of  ?  !
















this


writing


is


entirely


contrary


to


conventional


wisdom !
















true love yesterday and quits today?
















my


life


seems


to


be


one


long


argument


with


everybody


just

as


well


they


only


understand


half


what


i


write


:


o


)


(
















women


connoisseurs


of

love


:


o


(
















take


your


hurt


and


use


it


to


weight

your


feet

down


when


you


hang


yourself !
















jesus


god


buddha


bodhisattvas


muhammed


apsarases


the


pope


catholic


priests


priests


of


any


denomination


or


religion


the


dali


lama


the

great


pangoo


zen


masters


atheists


the


list


is

endless


all


fucking

tar


babies !
















transgressive


fiction


you


need


to


do


it


occasionally


or


it's


not


writing !
















I don't think that's right. Hormone balances in the womb account for what sex the baby will be, not its sexual orientation.


there's lots of good research on this if you use goggle ! the hormones affect the way the brain forms, the final result adds a lot of different factors together, genetic, enviromental and the way the genes are influenced by various enviromental factors.


you can have families with gays in the lineage, i think these families tend to have better quality parenting which may be an evolutionary reason for it !


the other side is today's enviroment is downright toxic with heaps of endocrine disruptors in !
















university


english


literature


education


you


just


learn


all


this


bad


shit


you


have


to


unlearn !


not


to


mention


the


cretins


you


have


to


learn


with !


is


this


hostile ?


  NO !


JUST


    FACTUAL !
















university


english


literature


education


you


just


learn


all


this


bad


shit


you


have


to


unlearn !
















i suppose


you


are


all


so


behavior


disordered


that


none


of


you


are


even


capable


of


a


sensible


discussion !
















i suppose


you


are


all


so


behavior


disordered


that


none


of


you


are


capable


of


even

a


sensible


discussion !
















smart


and


dumb


story


of


my


life


i


wish

this


and


i


wish


that


.


.


.


:


o


)
















haruki


murakami


a


mishima


stylist


zen



to


the


  core !
















brad


warner


dogen


wrote


vertical


you


hypocrite !


he


didn't


give

a


shit


about


shared


space


either !
















brad


warner


dogen


wrote


vertical


you


hypocrite !
















there


is


this


notion


of


transgressive


which


is


part


of


writing


that


is


going


outside


social


norms


which


i


do


unconciously


really !
















zen


and


buddhism


claim


not


to


be


a


religion


but


they


have


all


the


best


elements


hypocrisy


stupidity


and


a

clergy with meaningless ceremonies !
















zen


and


buddhism


claim


not


to


be


a


religion


but


they


have


all


the


best


elements


hypocrisy


stupidity


and


a

clergy with ceremonies !
















he's


mad !


it's


just


an


escape


clause


so


they


don't


feel


they


have


to


try


to


kill


me !


fucking


religious


hypocrites !
















how


many


buddha's


cocks


can


a


hardcore


zen


blog


poster


get


into


their

mouths ?


none


it


is


already


full


of


bullshit !
















of


course


crazy


wisdom


is


fine


but


not


you


know


too


crazy !


:


o


)
















c'mon you wimps, too scared to  post ? too scared to be yourselves fucking buddha cocksuckers i always had your number you pathetic drivel !
















the


hardcore


zen


blog


now


with


moderation


and


no

anonymous


posting


it


has


just


turned


into


the

usual


buddha


cock


sucking


blog


which


i


guess


it


always


was !


i

wondered


why


he


let


it


run


the


way


he


did


disguise


and


energy ?
















trying


to


blur


the


line


between


imagination


and


reality !
















trying


to


blur


the


line


between


vision


and


reality !
















visions


have


no


place


in

your


scheme


of


things


what

does


that


say


about


you


and


your


limitations ?
















what's


very


hard


to


understand


with


anything


artistic


is


the


better


you


are


the


more


negative


those


around


you


can


be !
















you


mightn't


have


liked


his


smell


major histocompatibility complex (MHC)


mismatch !
















after


writing


a


while


you


completely


lose


track


of


the


writing


process


it


dominates


you
















if


people


are


not


going


to


be


sensibly


motivated


to


avoid


issues


like


starvation


and


being


completely


broke


there


is


nothing


you


can


do !


on


the


other


hand


there


is


something


to

insensibility !
















if


people


are


not


going


to


be


sensibly


motivated


to


avoid


issues


like


starvation


and


being


completely


broke


there


is


nothing


you


can


do !
















you


cannot


do


night


shift


if


you


have


rigid


body


clock


genetics !
















my


writing


that's


what


life


is


full


of


blighted


potential !
















the


sound


of


a


sheet


being


ripped. ducks


landing


on


water


across


the


paddock


after dark


not


really

describable
















i'm


going

to


hit


you

for


calling


me


a


thick


aggressive


moron !

is

your


action


that


of

a

thick


aggressive

moron ?


NO


BAM !


which


one


was



on


the


floor


we


don't


know


it's


all


surreal


imagination


anyway !
















poetry


magazines


are


very


cliquey


getting


published


depends


on


who


you


know


are


married to,


or


have


as


an


in-law


( that


can


work


both


ways


:


o


)


(


why


be


published


with


some


not


very


good


poetry


when


your


poems


can


shine


with


the


stars


of


the


firmament


on


the


net


:


o


)


 (  
















god


damn


haruki


murakami's


norwegian


wood


i'm


now


decompressing


surreal
















fukushima


is


self -


injury


to


the


japanese


and


like


all


self

injury


seems


to


continue


unresolvably !
















love


is


a


communication


of


infinity


somewhat


limited


and


plays


over


a

lifetime


to

a


captive


audience !
















love


is


a


communication


of


infinity


somewhat


limited


and


plays


over


a

lifetime

















my


vision


of


the


sixth


patriarch


or


naoko


the


priority


is


that


communication


from


infinity
















not


just


the


dead


can


be


called


in


visions


but


fictions


too


why


can't


fictions


be


made


real


in


a


vision?
















what


is


surreal ?


that


fusion


of


informed


imagination


with


reality !
















i


think


the


moment


you


the


reader


start


to


communicate


with


me


we


leave


the


normal


and


enter


the


surreal !
















i


think


the


moment


you


start


to


communicate


with


me


we


leave


the


normal


and


enter


the


surreal !
















the

way


to


keep


trim


is


to


sit


in

front


of

a


computer


all


day !


i


found


running


makes


me


fat


:


o


)


(
















of


course


the


vampire


lover


( paranormal


romance )


niche


is


a


sort


of


fake


surreal


a


pastiche


of


of


writing


like


murakami !
















maybe


you


loved


him


too

completely


complete


love


is


dry !



ed. note: it's like the love for a very difficult daughter is dry, it's greater than things going well and there being some hope


  well there is some hope !


    love is not just feeling but what you do as well !


 dry is like the underlying sterility or aridity


 it's like the moon, they used to imagine all sorts of lush vegetation on it


 it's just the true condition of life is revealed


 that's why complete love is dry, it goes beyond the illusions !


 of all people you ought to know that love is a poisoned chalice


 if we could control it it wouldn't be love would it ?

















imo


for


the


amount


of


work


that


goes


into

a

successful


translation


you


are


better


to

write


an


original

work


but


of


course


that's


not


everybody's


inclination !
















i'm


the


seventh


patriarch


so


you


can


actually


trust


what


i


say


that's


one


thing !
















what


i


write


is


some


mix


of


literary


and


real


you


have


to


work


it


out


that's


what


it


is


about !
















on


me


being


the


seventh


zen


patriarch


it's


written


up


on


i


don't


want


to


have


to


explain


to


every


man


and


his


dog


like


it


or


lump


it !
















i


don't


miss


those

thick


aggressive

morons


on

hardcore


zen


i'll


say


that !


can't


do


anything


about


me


here


can


you


: o ~


just


ignore


me


and


go


on


digging


your


latrines !
















your


view


is


that


a

vision


occurs


in


existance


but


existance


occurs


in

a


vision !
















eileen


writes


ambassadors


of


god


they


show


the


world


their


smiley


faces


i


think


that's

a


really


good


poem


because


of


the


way


that


what


it


doesn't


say


is


so


apparent !
















i


honestly


feel


that


having


come

through


the


hard


core


zen


blog


in


it's


unmoderated


days


that


i


have


finished


with

a


disease


process !
















i


honestly


feel


that


having


come

through


the


hard


core


zen


blog


in


it's


unmoderated


days


that


i


have


finished


with

a


disease

















i


honestly


don't


understand


zen


why


starve


yourself

to


teach


twaddle


to


abunch


of


morons/ idiots


what


they


don't


want


to


know


or


maybe


the


problem


is

they


do ?


eckhart


tolle


at


least


has


some


sense


tho


what he


teaches


is


half


baked


and


is


making


money


out


of


it !
















i


am


a


non-


commercial


writer !


what


is


a


non-


commercial


writer?


well

steven


king


is

a


commercial

writer


he's


very


good


but


his


writing


is


limited


in


an


artistic


sense !
















the


extraordinary


difficulties


of


living


mowing


the


lawn


having


sex


cooking


earning


an


income !


:


o


(
















the


extraordinary


difficulties


of


living


mowing


the


lawn


having


sex


cooking


earning


an


living !


:


o


(
















butch


cassidy


and


the


sundance


kid


somewhere


in


the


background


there


is


greatness


but


it


is


unrealised !


rain drops keep falling


on


my


head


is


really


quite


a


deep


song !
















you


are


all


blinded


by


women


that's


your


problem !
















i


feel


out


of

the


hardcore


zen


blog


now


but


it's


like


there


was


a


definite

progression


of


involvement


and


leaving !
















people hate the world being shown to them as not benign though their behavior is never benign of course !
















the moment you mention anything deterministic like the ratio of sex hormones in the womb influencing and having an impact on fetal development, people seem to go off their scones


like


the


world's


not


a


cuddly


teddy


bear


but


angry


grizzlies


for


example
















in


terms


of


prison

sentences


you


can


argue


that

if


the


person is unlikely


to


reoffend


then


there's


no


point


in


sending


them


to


prison


however


that


is


not


how


the


justice


system


works


it


is


very


deterrent


that


is


it


seeks


to


deter


others


from


commiting


crimes !
















   computer games show these synthetic women as having men's brains as well !



that


is


these


svelte


female


bodies


behave


like


men !
















this  ad  portrays women as female bodies with mens brains, they are not like that at all !


a


lot


of


ads


and


all


computer


games


: o )


make


that


mistake!
















the amount of testosterone exposure in the womb determines the index to ring finger length ratio, so it's a good window into what the hormone balance in the womb was, tho of course it correlates rather than defines things like being gay, do a search on google !


my point was the   ad  is an ad, just bullshit selling bullshit !


being gay is decided in the womb by hormone balances


i


don't


think


shia


la beouf


is


in


any


way


gay !
















when


you


accelerate


the


immune


system


you


sure


know

about


it


why


do


i


know


about


those


sort


of


things ?


:


o


(
















i


tend


to


do


stuff


no-


one


else


does


why ?
















i


tend


to


do


stuff


no-


one


else


does


why ?
















some


women


sometimes


take


the


view


that


any


publicity


even


if


it


brings


the

police


is


good !


:


o


(
















women


sometimes


take


the


view


that


any


publicity


even


if


it


brings


the

police


is


good !


:


o


(
















from


a


commercial


point


of


view


as


long


as


it


doesn't


bring


the


police


any


publicity


is


good !
















where


you


see


meditation


you


see


schizophrenia


:


o


(


)
















where


you


see


zazen


you


see


schizophrenia


:


o


(


)
















Sort of an attention whore, he is


that's not a new zealand or australian phrase


they


would


say


he


wants


to


be


in


the


lime


light !


and


actually


wrong, i don't like to be in the limelight, quite the


opposite !
















writing


works


better


than


zazen


:


o


)


which


wouldn't


be


hard


as


zazen


makes


morons !
















why


writing


is


important


we


can


be


all


over


the

place


if


you


write


down


something


that


is

right


it


doesn't


vary


and


you


can


pick


up


again


what


it


was


about

when


you


go


back


to


look


at


it !
















why


writing


is


important


we


can


be


all


over


the

place


if


you


write


down


something


that


is

right


it


doesn't


vary !
















we


can


be


all


over


the

place


if


you


write


down


something


that


is

right


it


doesn't


vary !
















you


have


to


squeeze


something


to


see


it !


it's


not


quite


true


you

have


to


put


it


out


of


shape


to


see


it


but


you


see


it


truely !


if


you


squeeze


zen


what


do


you


see?


flakes


cowards


and


shitholes !
















you


have


to


squeeze


something


to


see


it !


it's


not


quite


true


you

have


to


put


it


out


of


shape


to


see


it


but


you


see


it


truely !
















can't


handle


me


can


you


brad


what


r


u


doing


with


your


life ?


playing

a

game

on


zen ?
















the young man is heterosexual, look at the index finger being shorter than the ring finger which indicates good testosterone in the womb , lying bloody  advertisements !
















odd how advertising and technology is going to destroy the  health  of the french !
















the


hardcore


zen


blog


that's

one


tar


baby


that


was


very


hard


to


get


out


of


had


to


put

a


crow


bar


in


eventually


:


o


)


(
















brad


warner


it's


interesting


what


upsets


you


you


are


pissing


your


life


away


on


something


futile


and


meaningless


teaching


voynich


to


nutters !


you


are


degregistered

a

s


a zen


teacher !


the


seventh


patriarch !
















the stupids posting stupidly endlessly how's that for in a aline zen teachers and students mutual suckers in a sucker's kingdom!


dogen


couldn't


post


here


(ed. hardcore zen blog !)


he


wrote


vertically


you


can't


see


it


can


you ?


conformists


and


idiots


go


together !
















with

women


it's

not


the


vagina


but


the


womb


that


drives


them !
















i


think


zen


has


tried


to


recreate


the


monastic


paradigm


and


failed


i


was


talking


about


it


last


night


with


the


sixth


patriarch


and


he


seemed


to


understand !
















god


the


cackle


of


schizophrenics !
















is


and


is


not  (7:35)
















zen


is


one


non-


economic


soup


and


tainted


at


that !
















it's


basically


too


much


work


for


too


little


reward


who


gives

a

fuck ?


i'm


just


going



to


look


at


the


southern


cross
















The problem is that it's too damned exhausting for me to do three hours straight of dharma discussion with a group.


that's the whole problem with zen, they expect you do to all the work and it's hugely draining for very little or no or negative reward.


usually negative



i


have


to


say !



the


moment

you

stop


providing


input


it


all


falls


away


they


are


too


slack


to


do


the


work


themselves and now


just hang


about


on


message


boards/blogs


like


this


shitting


over


anything

of

sense !
















steve job's didn't get the best treatment for his  cancer


i think if had the intial cancer removed with cyrosurgery (freezing ablation) rather than scalpel surgery he would still be alive


i

have


noticed that these very wealthy people for whom money


is


no


object don't get the best advice, rather it's always too conservative !
















non -


commerical


writing


the


most


depressing


thing


you


can


do !