this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that donʼt warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !



persistence is the only truth


thats is, if you persist, you will find the truth


a lifetime barely covers the ground















persistence is the only truth


thats is, if you persist, you will find the truth


a lifetime barely covers the ground


















reasoning can be wrong


but practical experience never is, though it can be misinterpreted















what we call morality is really consequences















the only way you can de-grief your life is to remove what causes grief


at some point you can't do that















martyn bryant had no boundaries

but was too mentally retarded

to understand the consequences



when those who kept him in line,

his father and lover died,

he lost the plot















a lack of boundaries can be a problem with very good intelligences


because really there are no boundaries, only consequences


i don't have any boundaries but i am scared shitless

of the torture and slow dying prison is


execution by poor diet


and


the


constant


stress


of


the


malignity of


the


othe


other


inmates


:


o


(















a lack of boundaries can be a problem with very good intelligences


because really there are no boundaries, only consequences


i don't have any boundaries but i am scared shitless

of the torture and slow dying prison is















it's the cycle through depression to mania that gives a lot of intellectual strength















it's the cycle through depression to mania

that gives a lot of intellectual strength















you have to allow that insight

can come from people and situations

one is not comfortable with


and actually insight is objective,

a common property so to speak




it's utterly objective

and exists independent of people



insight is actually

infinity in life

















the test of greatness


is the hatred

it inspires in mediocrity



mediocre is so happy to be mediocre,

and so cruel to maintain its own comfort


that's what bugs me















the test of greatness

is the hatred

it inspires in mediocrity


mediocre is so happy to be mediocre,

and so cruel to maintain its own comfort


that's what bugs me















buddhist scripture

is more inane than christian,

it's quite liberating

to accept how inane

religious piffle is

and sneer at eight centuries

waste of time carving scriptures

on stone slabs

when thirty seconds of original

thought outweights it all

video


how utterly meaningless


those stupid statues,

ceremonies

and as for carving scriptures

    on stone slabs for 800 years!!!!!


like the pain

of going to the trouble

of posting a reply

to that recent parent post on  openblooms

to have it ignored


fruitless, empty and leaves a bad taste


that's a correct perception of life i guess


















being in love is like freefalling forever,



there's no reference point
















being in love is like freefalling forever,


there's no reference point















some problems


can't be handled by complete avoidance,


but by taking limited damage















love is a blurring,


not an abatement of identity


what i mean


is there is some abatement


against which love


looks pretty paltry


















life is just the usual problem,



a billion acres of culturally received crap


that has to be unwound















god is a product of the mediocrity of human thought















the trouble with education is it's mired in the second rate















there's something

very depressing about pornography,

the same as prostitution,

a murderous depersonalisation















by the time i die

i might have worked out

how not to spill my blood

and have others lap it up

in everything i do















by the time i die i might have worked out how not to spill my blood

and have others lap it up in everything i do















no task is ever mindless,



they all endlessly intricate


if you look for it
















no task is ever mindless, they all endlessly intricate if you look for it















if something can't be changed, there's no point in unnecessary aggravation















the big problem with work

is getting something back

more than the money

which is usually not very much















the big problem with work is getting something back more than the money

which is usually not very much















most people are intellectually completely unadventurous


timorous and cowardly when it comes to anything new


too soft on themselves















we are all victimised by the shape of our brains















better my work go unread than become swill for the swine















the problem with skipping

on the amount of attention

needed by health and wellness issues

is that it's not death that is the road out,

but slow and painful

and humiliating incapacitation















yeah i'm unstable, you are the stable one


so i have to back off a lot of what i think etc.

and just let it all wash out in an even amicable way















the clever have sharp teeth

to shred the intelligent,

which unfortunately

is an old story















heart is in what you do,

it's not that you do something with heart


all the phonies

do things with heart and compassion

while being very many miles away from it


















the wall of heaven is the the impassable barrier to eternity beyond


only it's a bit more porous and passable than it seems



we are of that wall and also of that porosity and passiblity















true intelligence involves stepping into zones of emotional discomfort,

ratbag humans just bounce from one zone of failed emotional comfort to another















what can look like sweetness or generosity



is the hardship of necessity















what can look like sweetness or generosity is the hardship of necessity















the masses and their minders read what suits them,

an inquisitive and subtle intelligence

is such an unusual thing















all i have to do is stop stirring the pot and bite my tongue occasionally and just let things go on under their own momentum















there is a lot of power in seeing how things are without needing them to be a certain way


the trouble with love is it wants them to be a certain way















start something before it begins


that is, starting to do something before you begin it proper


getting some early practical feedback basically















what is the point of jealousy if you are not prepared to make up the shortfalls that the object of the jealousy is meeting?















men can have a shock as women approach menopause, like a really nasty shock as the hormones change and they don't put up with so much, that is, they become more like men















females have a loyalty to sex and not the person that males can find hard to understand.















just play the patience game and you will win















something not being wrong is very far from being right















one can love , but its a brutal process and its helpful to be a couple of moves ahead of the lover which can happen if they make a mistake and you put the work in


even in the strongest love there is always an element of a lack of requition















stupidity is quite an active process and requires some degree of intelligence, it is so thorough about removing what would defeat it


the tyranny of the talentless















it takes real talent to go for the unglamorous, the talentless always go for the pretty















sophistication is understanding of the human condition and the ability to do the intelligent option


    (eileen prunster)















when dealing with schizophrenics, its best to keep as much distance as is possible















poetry is to english as diamond is to glass















the quality of politicans is usually not better than what votes them in, sometimes it can be















with anything real you cannot see the way ahead















theres no grief like a lost love or anything more painful than to see someone falling out of love with you















there is an identity condition of infinity with the temporal but it speaks for itself and those who don't, won't or can't hear it, blubber away with the usual infantile religious crap















nostalgia seems such an intrinsic sign of mental decay















spam will exist until the ratio of response drops to represent a considerable economic cost















mediation is a mechanical analogue of self reflection


self reflection however has no context and is not mechanical


zazen, satori and zen are mechanical analogues


















i don't love american culture, kitschy, aggressive, ignorant and boorish















eileen:  now i really know what bittersweet is


andrew:  the flower that evaporates in the hand















there is a sort of sex of the soul, seeing someone directly















savancy:  an extraordinary skill only matched by it's pointlessness















the purpose of zen is to kneecap the brain, which it does very well















its a world that shits on quality















our lives wear away on futilities















there is a lot of thuggishness and brutality in mediocre views















autistic spectrum is an adaptation and new forming of function in a different brain


tho it seems something like permanent crucifixion, its part of the solution, not the problem


















the stuff i write is of eternity, not the puling ronald macdonald fandom that americans seem so enamoured of


















grammar is inherent in the brain, in reality there is no grammar beyond the understanding of what is written


















the evolutionarily assigned role for the male is a beast of burden for the female who is herself a beast of burden for her offspring


the human brain is full of an emotional veneer that disguises this


















being right is a process, not an endpoint


















notions of god are intrinsically limited


because if there is god then you also have to have a concept of god's justice for humans


since obviously there is none, then you have to develop the fiction of heaven and hell to make sense of the injustice of the world


so i will step away from the atheist viewpoint that says there is no god and say instead there is god but its a limited notion


















eileen : so i will step away form the atheist viewpoint that says there is no god and say instead there is god but its a limited notion would u mind expanding on what u mean by this? do u mean god is a notion or do u mean there is a god but not as imagined by some


Andrew : there is god but its a limited notion


Andrew : you can't break the meaning apart of those words


Andrew : which is what essentially poetry is, you can't break the sense apart from the words


















if you teach something, it completely destroys your sense of what you are teaching


















all the tears from here to infinity don't mean a thing


















imagine a man in a room with ten thousand pieces of blank paper stacked high


he takes one from the top and starts writing in pencil


he does this until all the paper is written on, then he takes the first one he started with, rubs it out and starts writing again


his name is life


















have i disrupted the fatuous emotional haze of waiting at the end of time?


'waiting at the end of time' is a passive fatalism tucked up in comfy emotions to avoid feeling the icy hurricane one is swept up in


its a common maladaptive response to deep injury


















a leaf in a stream, where is it going?


















the decay of aging alters all perspectives


















christine from PA

so proud so stupid

so american

why do turds outshine thier brains?















the hunting of the snark is quality, schrodingers cat and douglas adams are crap

why fart when you can smell of a rose?















autism is both dead and alive and therefore quantum















most mental health professionals are disguised schizophrenic's, safer to be that side of the system than the other


















just because you have a leak, doesn't mean you have to sink the ship


















the years sweep away under our feet


















where is god in quantum uncertainty?


















'they see an inch and think it's a mile'















an old man turned up at the gates of hell

the chief devil looked him over and said "jesus you look in bad shape, what happened?" (they swear a lot in hell for obvious reasons)

the old man said, alzheimers, pancreatic cancer and parkinsons

there upon the chief devil said the magic words "fucking shit" and the old man was changed into a young one

he said "i thought this was hell"

the chief devil said

that's so you can age all over again

















love is working productively together, you want to weight that more when you worry about me and my attachment















if you have to go an extra mile its cause you don't get there without going the extra mile















god is objective truth















what you know about something has to be balanced with how useful it is to know it............















the nature of blind is you can't see, and not seeing that we are blind is part of the blindness, life is mostly leaving old areas of blindness to go into new ones and ultimately discovering we never left the old ones















women unfortunately cannot call a spade a spade. instead you get a three page essay on 'like a spade'















i'm getting used to women, anything they disagree with translates to me having a problem















the female condition, afraid to be afraid, but afraid not to be afraid















in fact life has a sort of inverted topology whereby what is imagined to be interior and not exposed is out there to see anyway

















let people go thier own way

















bite off more than you can chew and you get chewed

















everyday a million miles to travel

in all directions

but the old brain and frame can no longer keep up

death overtakes

















what is man
naught but a dream
mirrored on itself

















theres no innocence in being gullible, it's just slackness looking for easy pickings.

















a forum thread from hermitageheart.org, photo by john loori

crying

some sadness of beyond death here

john loori photo

u need the red to live

its in this photo and conveys the nature of red quite well even if it doesn't conform to what red should be by theory but i have learnt to go on observation and not theory :o)

the nature of red may not change but it sure has different forms most of which i could do with out because of their painfully erosive nature

Anna S. wrote, what do you mean "u need the red to live?"

my reply:

red is what everything revolves around

i guess i am speaking of 'beyond death'

which is not a lot of fun actually

u need the red to live

but its not an answer per se like 'oh i have the red'

more just being aware of the turbulent stream we are caught in

the outcomes of aging are pretty ghastly

















love and hate are human dreams that are never untangled in our short lives

















the sea is wisdom















life is death
and death is life

literal or non literal

literal

i use jesus and buddha for lavatory paper

















we get a little beauty in life, precious little and then its over

















when you go down a road again and again you notice its characteristics

















solitude shows

what groups don't know

sight and blind

















one of the secrets of life is not to hang too hard onto things and see if it hangs there by itself................

















u need to steer by the pole stars of yourself

















answers are just new questions

















empty eons
passing the time
dead time
















I have a single potential.
It can be seen in a solitary twinkle.
If you still dont hear me,
I call the acolyte and ask him.


by Xiangyan (9th century?)


my reply


there is no single potential
apart from complexity
and simplicity
the fundamental oscillation



















claims and reality

never shall together be

except in eternity

















sometimes it's easy

sometimes it's hard

sometimes the moon

comes down in shards

















plants that grow up in the shade of the oak

will never overtake it

















the blue cliff record, case 3



great master ma was sick.


the abbot asked him


how has your health been in recent days?


ma replied


sun face buddha


moon face buddha


my reply


yeah unfortunately


a full moon on a clear tasmanian night


how cold


my survival is at stake


i want to watch the beauty forever


but i will die


when reading the blue cliff record,

just go for the case

the rest is junk

though sometimes

there can be good stuff

in the commentary

but that is stuff the compiler is quoting,

the compiler himself is a bit of an idiot.



too long in that tasmanian moon,

i need some sun to survive.

















don't expect largeness of mind in a woman.

















through truthfulness and giving may there be some living

















women write



sweet smelling


shit
















the mountain stream


ker plash splash


all the way down


this was a stream

i followed down

on the southern side

of beinn eighe

in northern scotland.

it goes past the car park.

















stopping by the beach


swish the waves run up the stones


crish they run down




















stopping

by the beach



swish

the waves run up the stones



crish

they run down

















Lighthouse man I'm all at sea,

Shine your lighthouse light on me,

Lighthouse man can't help us all,

Some are saved and some will fall,

He'll show you where the danger lies

But he can't help it if you capsize,

He'll light your way but that is all,

Got to steer your own boat back to shore.



the above poem is by  eileen

















consort with the dead and you become a corpse

















stones and streams are a dream


wherein i would lie until i die

















Rita came up on icq last night
splattered like a sparrow hitting a window pane
an angry blur of feathers
and then flew off again

















emp - ty
richo - che
bang bang bang
kirshnamurti's dead

the jackals still pick out his eyes

crunch up his head

but he is still dead

















males that don't meet female expectations
get deigned for eviscerations

















depression is palpable

the fish rakes run

ruining a blue sea

















depression is palpable
the fish rakes run
ruining a blue sea

















a diamond's sparkle

is not big or small

long or short

but just as it ought

















a diamond's sparkle
is not big or small
long or short
but just as it ought

















the muse

vacates

and arrives

according to its own schedule

















the muse
vacates
and arrives
according to its own schedule

















star light
star bright
first star i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
have the wish i wish to night



(Trad?) - not my poem, i just like it.

















rata tat tat
ass in a hat
i'm so high
the moon looks low
uh oh

oh i am dying
oh i am dead
the moon's come down
crashed in my head

















rata tat tat
ass in a hat
i'm so high
the moon looks low
uh oh

oh i am dying
oh i am dead
the moon's come down
crashed in my head

















insight unto insight springs along the way
murder in the evening
brutality in the day.

















note, the proper version is in manawa (auckland zen society magazine) i think,

will have to look up a back issue to get it

things long forgotten
toi-toi on a lakes edge
a metalled road and (paddlocked)? gate
folding unfolding
things long forgotten

toi toi

a metalled road and gate

the lap of waves on a lakes edge

















 unbending road, what do we say?


existing because it can


constrained by possibility


strung between is and is not


curled within the vastness of inconceivability


enwrapt outside the universe


what do we say?















unbending road


 what do we say?


curled within

the vastness of inconceivability



existing because it can


enwrapt outside the universe


constrained by possibility


strung between is and is not


what do we say?















religion is flypaper for hypocrites

















  rain on roof -


eyes laden


delicious
















day black dropped


dusk sky  -

















an hour -


wealth for the poorest

















tui song


perched on a cloud

















  a tui singing -


dulcet drops


heaven fallen

















noontide sun


foaming around my feet

















white cottonwood branches


half lit in yellow


scouring the sky

















boats bow wave


slicing a tender sea


a dolphin glints


glass frozen

















macrocapa tree


standing against the sky




a soft green stream


washing through banks of blue

















split the sun


spill its fire


flames of ice!

















sitting on a cliff top


absorbed by the sea

















bush


white flecked -


manuka flowers

















clock click


stills

















pull the sky


through a star

















punch


the moon


inside out




invaginate


the sky

















slitting eternities throat


sheep shit for roses

















ashes in the urn



 how real is real ?

















ashes in the urn


 how real is real?

















black white grey


partiality solidify's things

















walking into the dissolving dust


sky the blue in hieroglyphs


green streams of obscene dreams


aeons burst in a yellow star glow

















purling, spinning


weaving dreaming


suchness seems


in likeness of these

















i was looking at strawberries in the supermarket

and a child grabbed my shopping list exercise book

from the bottom of the empty trolley



he sorta hung over the side holding it

and we looked at each other,

i took it back.



his mother turned up,

told him to stop it or something,

i wondered wether he was autistic

so i said



( it's dusk as i am writing and the sea is sorta a dull blue in the distance )


“ well i can see the attraction of the book ”

since it was well used,

patched with a bit of tape,

had a sort of patina to an intelligent eye



but she said he would have thought

it contained photographs



i wanted to ask wether he was autistic,

i couldn't think wether it not

it might be something else,

said nothing and they moved on.