this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed



death and being unconcious are qualitatively different, it might seem obvious or not obvious at all

i don't fear being dead, beyond the disappointment of not living anymore, but the process of dying  terrifies me

there’s a lot of young people who get cataracts from  steriods  and are now in need of lens replacement operations, being so young creates extra demands on IOL choice

at 30 you may have an iol in for say 60 years, the ophthamology profession doesn’t look beyond ten years at the most so most of your life will be spent in "late stage" use, an area hardly covered in the research literature

the cataract operation is relatively simple and problem free, but once the lens gets  fibrosed  in (six months to a year), "lens exchange" is much more problematic to the extent there is a limited number of surgeons i would personally be happy with to do that operation

the eye is a surprisingly aggressive chemical environment and degrades the IOL clarity with time  (the glistening rate is a good indicator)

at a young age PCO is a certainty and YAG is not riskless, though the risk is low

multifocals require corneal stability to be effective, smallish changes in sphere or cylinder will reduce acuity, sphere is easily correctable, cylinder raises question of uncorrectable higher order aberrations

my feeling is that cataract operations are best delayed until driving safety is impinged, the field is constantly improving in technology, even on a six months scale, like technis have recently addressed the poor rotational stability of their IOL’s with some minor improvements

in fifteen years there may be lenses that can be reversibly set by laser and changes in prescription could be done without surgery

the alcon "clareon" seems a useful general purpose "go to" monofocal IOL with an exceptionally low glistening rate, but i have no personal experience of it

the other side is a lot can happen in twenty years, easier and safer operations to "explant" lenses or even lasers to change the optics of of an already in place lens

micro-monovision which a small amount of add say +.75D in one eye is an alternative to multifocal, but you need to try it first in glasses because it doesn’t suit everyone

its helpful to understand and look at "defocus" curves

i know people who claim to be very happy with the panoptix, presbyopia is the pits and needs some degree of solving, either in a monofocal with monovision add either in the iol’s or glasses or with a multifocal or edof iol

there’s various trade-offs

an interesting  montage  by turkish photographer  uğur gallenkuş

reddit  (that warlike net forum)  seems curiously adverse to it even though it is ideologically neutral or pacifist

rachel mckibbens on  her experience  teaching at a notorious mental hospital

you want to give reasons for your statements, it speaks a certain incompetence to just say things without any justification

it is in fact a mental health condition called  “ border-line personality disorder ”  to say things and expect them to be taken as right just because you say them

allergies imo are a strong indicator to not have lasik, industry practice reflects this in a diluted form, my view is more extreme than most which is about 90% of current lasik operations are not justified in terms of risk, the bar is set too low

same with lens replacement operations  (glasses-free)  on non cataractous eyes actually

why zen has died is the lineage system has killed it, all the time and  “ butt sucking ”  means only the dull and stupid ever got  “ transmitted to ”  and the talented just set up on their own because you can do that with modern technology

“ i don't know where you picked up the idea that only the most dull and stupid are transmitted to.

typically a master picks up his brightest student to transmit to, like with shunryu suzuki and richard baker, to give just one, famous, example ”

from meeting a lot of them irl

neither suzuki nor baker were enlightened

the only person i ever met in my travels genuinely "enlightened" was toni packer and she got kicked out of the rochester center which speaks so many volumes of the retardancy of zen

give me one genuinely enlightened zen teacher, i will allow a few  “ quasi-enlightened ”

elizabeth wurtzel on why its better to be  controversial

face it brad warner, you are too dull to be controversial and no sex scandals means you are not a true zen/buddhist teacher

“ impersonating a rabbit ”  doesn’t count, steamy  “ tell all ”  divorces count a little bit; hint

“ itchy boots ” likes the isolation  and vastness of the salar de arizaro

real  “ spiritual work ”  is very questioning and introspective and most people, not just can’t handle it, but don’t want to do that

the real zen is very questioning and introspective and most people, not just can’t handle it, but don’t want to do that

advice is often not taken because from their point of view you are one opinion, however, from your point of view ,  you may have seen many similar instances of their particular problem

its very hard to convey one person’s experience to another when they differ

its basic bayes theorem that you reduce uncertainty by coming at something from a number of different angles

one thing i have learnt is you may think you know what people are thinking, but what they are thinking is actually quite surprising

at other times, you pretty well know and its not surprising

lasik, which is basically an altering of the shape of the cornea by scarring is way to casually embarked upon

there seem to a be a significant number of people for whom it has  gone wrong  and what the very long term problem rates in terms of decades and very old age are, who knows ?


pema chödrön has resigned as an "acharya"  (what a bullshit title!)  from the shambhala organisation now chögyam trungpa’s son, mipham mukpo /sakyong mipham, has taken control again  (or at least stepped out from the "shadows")  after his public "shaming"

dogen and the great masters were celibate, zen/ch'an makes no sense outside of celibacy because you need an empty life and lifetime to wander in the wastes of meaninglessness zen requires

my observation of "spiritual teachers" and the sexual freedom contraception gives is its just an unholy semi-orgiastic mess and can’t be anything else because the social context has changed from the times monks could be ordained very young then spend a lifetime travelling between hermitages and monasteries

tibetan buddhism always had a strong sexual element,   the dirt

“ and i remember witnessing him flirting with them in the manner of placing his hand on thighs or shoulders.  i don’t remember seeing any groping of buttocks, breasts or vaginas

i was aware of women being invited to his private quarters and had on occasion seen them leave the morning thereafter.  if now asked to describe their facial expressions on these occasions i would list a whole range of affects from elation and anxiety to sadness and shame

rarely did i see women arise from his bedroom looking calm, happy and refreshed.  this pretty much sums up all of my observations of women departing after nights spent for the years thereafter ”

basically sounds consenting to me, he was a bit of an alkie and took center funds too freely

what amazes me is the willingness with which the stupid disciples support this sort of nonsense, but of course they are in on the "racket" as well

all the same at least mupo is in it for the booze, money and sex ,  there’s some sane reason for all that pretending bullshit, whereas all those vapourware "disciples" wandering around in absolute crap, for what, those stupid colourless beings that infect the spiritual circuit

there’s no hope

talladega

burning man

i have trouble with these huric nutcases  (usually hostile)  who follow me around on whatever web forum i happen to be posting on, my most recent reply to one

i can’t make head or tail of what you are saying or why except i gather you make a point of reading my comments

when i reply to people, i try to address them as a person and what they say and not make it some sort of projection on whatever blackboard that is available

don’t tell me i am wasting my breath

women

men

children

just isolated beings

in the imaginary reality called human

men

women

children

just isolated beings

in the imaginary reality called human

proofs of the existance of god are meaningless, you can’t extricate notions of god from existance

just bad melody from those idiots called theologians

there are some very young  “ wunderkind ”  composer/performers around, emily bear has charisma and is unusual in that she seems  genuinely happy

its heat that  dulls  a drill bit when used on stainless steel

sharpening a drill bit on a grinding wheel

I       II       III       IV       V

VI       VII        VIII        IV

my sort of strange

alejandra pizarnik

if you ever find yourself getting sucked in by the female, there’s always an angle of their face that shows who they really are and its not attractive

i’m an equal opportunity misogynist and misandrist, if you think there’s something similar in the male let me know

i never learnt the stupid grammar or syntax at school because it seemed crazy, and guess what, it is crazy ,  generative  grammar and syntax is the real thing

“ eyes wide shut ”  has an underlying flaw of inconsistency in trying to create a cult of that intensity without the close living together and intellectual simple mindedness and for that reason the film does not and could never work

frederick, the count of monte cristo would have been  the better film

i think they could have hit the right note with a sort of sciencey fiction society, a bit politically and socially removed from ours, clockwork orange did that, just the necessary amount of reality phase change

the first cataract operation is relatively problem free, but when the lens gets fibrosed in, the operation is much more difficult, though possible for some surgeons so its best to avoid the need to have the IOL replaced

fibrosing has to happen so the lens stays in position

low glistening rate lens like the alcon clareon should last longer, but contrary to what you think, the eye is a chemically aggressive environment

i have noticed that ophthalmologists think in terms of five to ten years ahead for their patients and that’s all

maybe writing is a drug, an hallucinogen that extends time

education is the new prozac ?

ed.  elizabeth wurtzel died a week ago, definitely one of the talented mad

women’s desire to have children and family

there are social contexts where that is not approved

but is so resilient, that desire

its part of the deep structure of the female brain

education creates illusions

one of which

is

that

you understand

a subject

there are an infinite number of languages

any language can be translated into another with a reasonable functional resolution

except for poetry, that’s almost a definition of poetry, that which can’t be translated into another language with any fine degree of resolution

why is that ?

what is the relation of poetry to semantics and sound that that can’t happen ?

what are semantics and sound that in certain formualtions, translation is not possible ?

you can't have two poems with exactly the same meaning in two different languages

i think the problem is that poetry itself erodes meaning

it is of and not of meaning

what is meaning ?

i notice with the net if that you look at  interesting people  who really have great communication skills, you grow in a sense with them teaching you

of course you can watch the kardashians and weep

“ what is the difference between slam poetry and spoken word ? ”

the pacing is quite different for a start and it has its standard emphasises and rhythms

i don’t actually feel its poetry, rather something between poetry and lyrics

maybe it has it origins in plainsong ?

i think as a poet you have to justify that you write poems and not lyrics because the latter pays so much better that commercial song is the real competition for lyrics and slam and not poetry

there’s lot of poems with video interpretations on you tube and i think i have only seen one that worked, one of charles bukowski’s better poems about being at the dentists

most of the imagery seems to bear no relation to the poem, is sorta an ADHD nightmare usually

mediocrity sucked below its level of competence, let the viewer suffer

the tattoo poem

nanoparticles

toxins in

the ink

allergy

response

gobbling macrophages

distort

immune

function

justin

bieber

beware

your

fate too


xanadu

beneath the caves

beneath the ice

no bottom turtle

above

turns into the trees, meadow

and alph

the sacred river

measureless to man

ran to the sea

so you know that coleridge claimed to have been interrupted by  “ the man from porlock ”  and forgot the rest of his most famous poem, so i read the poem and did a bit of research in the hope i could come up with some continuation of it, but no luck, i couldn’t get into his style enough, and what do you know, this poem popped out a bit later and its not a continuation but something else, i’m not sure what but i think in his spirit

xanadu

beneath the caves

beneath the ice

no bottom turtle

above

turns into the trees, meadow

and alph

the sacred river

i always think one of the great tragedies of sylvia plath’s life  (apart from marrying ted hughes, star crossed if there ever was)  is she was a very readable prose writer, the sort that would always sell well no matter what she wrote, yet it never eventuated

my reply to rachel mckibben’s  poem   “ letter from my heart to my brain ”

i like her recitation, it doesn’t fit in the  “ slam ”  box at all and is better for it

i think what makes mckibben not fit the slam mould is her poems have a strong visual component and that her poems are in fact  visual  rather than spoken, though of course they can be spoken

i find  “ slam ”  a bit empty, the imagery is not inwoven/dense enough

its ok

its not ok

the puerile stretches of imagination

constrained in a list

roll on

the search for meaning

melbourne is pretty bad for organised crime, several  “ mafia ”  type killings a year

the problem is you can’t really stop anyone if they want to kill you, a while back there was very effective assassin and he killed a lot of the mafia types there

the circus  of the catholic church

gender twisting, inversion, perversion, insanity, psychosis

everything

except

sanctity

flat earthers  —  less than mediocre minds

craving for attention

to speak in general terms does not mean all the specifics conform

now korean sounds to me like nothing on earth, i can’t even conceive of it making sense, but if you look at the translations  they  could be two english girls having a discussion

that prior to korean and english there’s a manipulative semantic function in our brain called language and its as tangible as motor movement

noam chomsky keeps up the good fight against the purile notion of language as a sort of vapourware appearing from nowhere

poetry is next gen or language 2.0

most never make it

the net

piles of words

munched on by the herd

not noticing

that

their

feed

is

toxic

the

insane

think

sanity

is

psychosis

the

sane

don’t

understand

their

own

pyschosis

the

sane/insane

are

able

to

judge

the insane think sanity is psychosis

the sane don’t understand their own pyschosis

the sane/insane are able to judge

you can’t bring back the dead, so it pays to keep on good terms with the living

dream story ,  the basis for stanley kubrick’s film  “ eyes wide shut ”

the heft of hollywood was the emigration of  jewish artistic  talent from europe fleeing the nazis, it created an intense pool of talent not seen before or after and still has echoes today

greta garbo and marie dressler in  anna christie

r|optometery

should a sphere  -2.25  prescription be in  1.5 or 1.6 ?

a fight to the death

small minds don’t get smaller

academic poetry is just pretend and what’s happening now in the universities is a disaster

the untalented learning to mimic the bad

“ when i read your writing, i wonder what meds you are on ”

anti-psychotics and it works !

“ it could be argued that they aren’t ”

if i wasn’t psychotic you wouldn’t expect them to work would you ?

evening as the street lights come on

one light to be replaced by another

i know which i prefer

to be a very popular poet requires writing sentimental kitsch, something walter rinder excelled at

however that doesn’t make for lasting appeal, and why should it, if it did last what place would there be for quality poets ?

“ larry levis was an actual poet  —  and unlike bukowski  —  he could actually write ”

charles bukowski was genius, larry levis a workman, its not a gap its possible to bridge

one person has one opinion, another person has another opinion

only the demented try to conform the world to themselves

when one looks at this johannes vermeer  painting  a strong sense of solipsism and being burdened comes across

zoomable

the bookish, lecturing world

caught in an endless meta about life

and not living it

you mean the insane

the insane talented

the insane not quite talented ?

monsters are not how people look, but behavior

stalin and beria were both quite handsome for instance

if you argue with net schizophrenics, because they are irrational and skip looking at the salient points, you are locked into an endless argument with them, and believe me, some never tire

any help given to these people is just rewarded with a kick to the face, so be tough and concealing with them

there’s an entirely different scale of things going in the middle east that makes a lot of western concerns look effete

the torture and murder of  hevrin khalaf

i have never seen an area undergoing so much technological change affecting the economics of the business with more on the way as optometry

all the demand is for ophthalmologists who get the money and prestige

ophthalmologists are the  “ king bees ”  in the industry, be in it a while and you will understand

there’s huge changes in materials and manufacturing and oddly, particularly improvements in math that are shaking the industry to its core

there are even home refractors in development which gives a pretty good indication of the way things are going

in any sensible world, there would be a relatively easy qualification upgrade for optometrists to a large portion of the ophthalmological work, but the ophthalmologists block that

optometry is effectively a guild and so is ophthalmology and turf fights have winners and losers

huh ,  a step  in the right direction

a low reading age is not harmless judging by the countless infinities of quixotian windmills that people tilt at for want of a better understanding

your low reading age is creating quixotian windmills for you to tilt at

shades of meaning

“ likely ”  is a claim for probability, but its certainly not a claim for truth

“ it is seems  likely  that peter was having an affair with rachel, but on closer investigation  the fact  was they weren’t involved in that way at all ”

benefit versus need is another interesting one

“ i need to be clothed, but i may feel i  benefit  by designer brands, but i don’t  need  designer brands ”

brad warner, are you sure that nishijima is not acting like any christian preacher or priest would, just trying to make sense of nonsense and give some passable speil ?

you lack experience with buddhism, its nothing like as coherent in doctrine as you pretend

what fits best with nishijima is what any religious priest of any competence does, they take nonsense and try to make something interesting out of it and of course this gives rise to extremely varying content within a minimal scriptural  “ conformance ”

you even have quite a different take on nishijima’s  “ doctrine ”  and buddhism from his other  “ dharma heirs ”

what is a happening with you ?

how can you offer advice and interpretation with any sincerity when you are so out of touch

are you being a latter day  (in a small way)  ron hubbard ?

the medical profession seems to be very unaccepting of the reality of the side effects of psychiatric medications

resorting to argumentum ad hominem shows a poor problem solving intelligence

the problem  the catholic church has

celibacy   =   a gay club

married priests   =   episcopalian/anglicanism

they are caught between a rock and a hard place

if you view catholicism as a cult of the virgin mary which it might be, i think it needs to be celibate for that to have any meaning, married with kids knows the reality

the institution is unwinding before our eyes

the future always has to be imagination

because

of

prediction shortfalls

the problem with the ubiquity and ease of access to information and entertainment in the modern world is it creates an assumption of  “ craftlessness ” ,  but that’s not the way the world works

thats what i like about billie and finneas o’connell, you can see the level  of craft  and interaction when they perform, they are creators and not consumers

the dangers of tidying

what has value is lost

the value to be

discovered later

by

its

absence

the first lines of a poem  ( ‘ oritachi ’ )  by michizō tachihara

during those moments of evening light when i could feel nothing but delight, your flickering face wanly disappeared

later it hesitantly returned  —  but what was that about ?

my  reply

her flickering face held in memory

disappeared

she was never there in the first place

bound to me

what is a dream but a half glimpse

of something that will never work

i get a reply

dream gives us a hope

and purpose to keep going forward

my  reply

is that your real experience or just a nice idea ?

you have a dream that has worked out ?

i never have, that which has worked out has snuck up on me, unseen and actually partly unwanted

what is a dream but a half glimpsed working

of something that will never work

the trickiness of zen and buddhism is they can claim not to be religions, but they are in fact

the mechanisms of community induct the attributes of religion

my approach is unabashedly mystical

another way of looking at mysticism is there is another or are other more complete worlds and these/this can be navigated to some degree of resolution

this is in contrast to the unitary worlds of religion and physics, but embraces literature, but your own personal experience is the core, it is essentially not learned or doctrinal

the   battle  of hastings was always a big deal to later english history and we got taught the  “ poor harold ”  “ bad william ”  version at school, but william had the advantage of a fresh and well trained army, harold was foolish to have fought so close to his previous battle at   stamford bridge  against the vikings and his brother

the large geographical scope of 11th century politics, stretching from byzantine to norway and france is interesting

the only way we can know the limitless is the deconstruction of limits

this does not mean anything is final

so many voices in today’s world

your own voice

not so many

there’s no limits to understanding, but its a process and can have dead ends and endlessness

the longer you live

the more you see this

ada  is valdimir nabakov’s best work and has the potential to be made into a very good film

one of the more interesting paternity cases is who is the father of ronan farrow

the problem is sinatra’s children deny it and actually farrow looks like sinatra herself

ronan is half bookish half mad but with an artistic competence, a disinct possibility of the farrow-allen combination

he looks like woody allen and has that autistic streak

but you really have to wonder at such ill fated stars ever coming together

life without migraine

a permanent holiday somewhere

its not to be

i just woke up with another  “ cracker ”

most humans seem like automata

is that because

they are automata ?

most women seem like automata

is that because

they are automata ?

from our point of view a tree tends upwards with roots, a trunk and branches

but from a tree’s point of view, its equipoint anywhere on itself

déjà vu is that fine line between the dim recognition of something seen before and the recognition misfiring


in spring, the day glitters

water feeding the greens and sunlight the glitter

summer, softer, more muted is, already the life force fading

autumn, at least for a while the fading at its best

winter of course, let less be said

ed. this poem is sorta abstract and synthetic

alma deutscher is really in a time warp, today’s synthesis of the instrumentation of seventeenth to the nineteenth centuries

this lovely piece  in fact needs part of the construct that is not here today, russian ballet in the time of the czars and tchaikovsky, all those mermaids tripping across the stage in phased synchronicity

she’s tapping into something and perhaps it will be partly rebuilt

i don’t think you can be an authentic person and stay in the academic arts and philosophy institutions

they are toxic mediocrities fucking up their students

it is corrosive

the universities should completely close their liberal arts departments, one can learn much better from the net at one’s own pace, all the universites do is teach people to like bad art, literature and philosophy and most of them never lose that unpleasant taste

science is not so bad because the subjects enforce a certain objectivity, but, by god, they can be narrow minded

medicine is a cot case of obsolete information being taught leaving a permanent distaste for any more study ever in its graduates, anybody with some reading of new research over the last several years can be well ahead of specialists in some respects

a totally  surreal  landscape ,  “ itchyboots ”  travelling in high alitude andean desert, the  san francisco pass

its looks like  “ dark matter/energy ”  is  a goer

i presume its somewhat compatible with  this study  positing the casimir effect

its the same as in life, things look sane well within boundaries, but when you get close to, or cross over them, things look insane

“ some people will attempt to distinguish  theater  as the building and  theatre as the actual art ”

i’m with  “ some people ”

it seems to me that  “ practice  ”  is a western zen notion that has its origins with christian science and didn’t exist historically in zen/ch’an or buddhism

this is modern zen reinventing the past and actually islam does it as well, what is called islam is a twentieth century re-invention of something that was quite a bit different historically, it was not so narrow or exclusive

since religions themselves are a re-invention of novels as theatre, its hardly surprising the script is constantly changing in subtle ways

brad warner for instance is really a writer reinventing zen and buddhism again

this process can't be seen more clearly than in the origins of scientology which is basically bad science fiction with plenty of  “ religious borrowings ”  brought to life via a very interactive theatre

the full moon

a clear disk

if only

life

were

so

simple

women poets are different from men poets

they, suprisingly, are more imaginative

they favour more  “ earthy ”  themes like death and sex

the eschew the abstract

and can be a bit tedious

they have good poets, great and “ really great ” just like men

what the average is compared to men

i do not know, but it takes young males to write the numbingly bad

to read what is almost nonsense

scrambles my words

into coherence

the everness of writing

ever and ever

i can’t stop

or

can

 i ?

the everness of writing

for ever and ever

i can’t stop

or

can

 i ?

te reo māori  is on the road to extinction ?

i know this is not an accepted view, but imo people who are multilingual are harmed by the neurological burden of the extra language or languages, of course in a multilingual environment, it may necessary, but to learn maori in new zealand is dysfunctional for those taught it

the situation in australia is orders of magnitude worse with the loss 120 of 250 aboriginal languages, some will be disappearing even at the moment as the last speakers die and within a hundred years they will all be gone

i don’t really attach a value to a language per se, there are differences in what ideas can be expressed simply in different ones, but basically its the meaning conveyed that matters

this is from a person who took six months to learn about ten words of samoan

more on  the fiasco  of the Bisphenol A replacement by BPS which turns out to more toxic to the heart by a considerable margin than BPA

this is quite an interesting   study ,  with a more intelligent strategy by the germans, the british could have lost the battle of britain

there’s nothing inevitable about history, small changes, or rather changes, can give quite different outcomes and most likely a world that we are not part of

you only live once

its taken thirteen billion years to give rise to you and an unfathomable timeless nothing before that

why waste the tiny fleck of light we have been given for the briefest flick of time

there is something very unusual about life and in a limited way it can be figured out

the outstanding feature of today’s art and writing world is the investment of the universities in toxic mediocrity

fuck the pricks

writing

the cost is too high

a few will pay it

they are immortal

when ill

its important not to let things ride

do what you can

without compromising recovery

just thinking about things can be a good use of that time

blobbing out with music, video and gaming is not

for those that remember the shah and the revolution ,  this article  offers some interesting perspectives

sometimes

awash in meaningless sea

afloat in meaninglessness

intimations of mortality

the nullness

of

death

and

nothingness

this world

a moving simultaneity

chased by the past

into

an equally oblivious

future

i think the situation of the mafia is all changed compared to twenty or thirty years ago and modern technology actually favours the FBI so the mafia are on a backfoot somewhat, the day of the large crime organisations is over, at least in places like the usa

religion attempts to handle something through constructs that are simply malfunctional in what they attempt to do

people are such fragile bundles of narcissism you have to be very careful to be indirect rather than direct in telling them anything, unlike song and music which is very direct and that’s part of its appeal

it has taken me a very long time to improve my social skills to the point that dealing with people doesn’t make trouble for me

from the vijñāna bhairava tantra no. 31

look upon a bowl without seeing the sides or the material

in a few moments become aware

my  reply/restatement

a bowl swallows me up

life spits me out

i think a lot of these old religious writings have totally lost their original sense  (and punch)  through the loss with time of their language associations

i’m not saying the couplet i just wrote in reply is the original sense, but it might well be compared to what is assumed to be the original sense now

i say this because because the usual quotes are so weak and watery they are totally forgettable and would have never been recorded in the first place


fold the circle

pick up the sphere

disappear into the corner

and reappear in the square

law is best served as a threat and not an actuality

en bateau  (blue wave)

a dance  choreographed by michio ito, unfortunately its ruined by the voice over and i can’t find any other performance

case eight of the mumonkan

keichu, china’s first wheelwright, made two wheels of fifty spokes each

now, suppose you removed the nave uniting the spokes, what would become of the wheel ?

and had keichu done this, could he still be called the father of wheelwrights ?

my  comment

spokes without a nave and rim don’t function as a wheel

the rabble get speared by unbound spokes

they drive them into themselves

the law requires wheels

but you have to rebuild them yourselves

wow, louis rossmann got a  dud contractor ,  read the comments, sounds like you have to be very careful in NY

he made two mistakes choosing, any good contractor has a waiting list, but he chose a guy who could start immediately

and he took a recommendation from one friend  (obviously with piss poor judgement) but you have to come from several angles, not just one

louis may have even started out on the wrong foot ,  self-levelling concrete  may have been the better way to go

i feel for louis, he’s like me, overconfident in situations he doesn’t know enough about and not asking around or keeping a close enough tab on what’s happening

i have always felt it a rule not to pay in advance for a service, or at least no more than some of the final cost, even with the best of intentions, once they have the money with no prospect of more, people’s priorities shift away from the work they owe you

“ there’s nothing objectively wrong with being a coke head, as long as they do a good job its none of your business what they do in their personal time ”

druggies claim their  “ habits ”  don’t interfere in their relationship or business with you, but they always fuck you over is my experience even if its just emotional wear and tear


drought

the air is

humming

with

flies

drought, the air is humming with flies

in the distance

a dog barking

yap yap yap

the moon

comes and goes

in the clouds

in the distance

a dog barking

yap yap yap

in the clouds

the moon

comes and goes

trudging along the road of life

mud then dust

all seasons

to end up in a strange place

that is not so strange after all

along the road of life

mud then dust

all seasons

to end up in a strange place

that is not so strange after all

the recursive nature of reality means we can never fully understand ourselves or others for that matter

changing experience forces new shapes we can never imagine

we don’t even know where to begin/start with the absence called death

cardiovascular harm from cigarette smoking is logarithmic, the  first cigarette  shoots up to 50% of the harm of twenty cigarettes

interestingly  the relativity  between dog and human ages is also logarithmic, not linear at all

chalk one up for mathematics there

the impact of light warmth/coolness and spectrum on the circadian rhythm/sleep cycle is surprisingly underestimated

for instance you do not want to be working at 1am under very white  (high blue containing)  light

sunlight dappling over the corals

a strange world

but normal to itself

is r|zen a new religion ?

is r|zen a  “ schism ”  from western zen ?

by  “ western zen ”  i mean the predominant modified/hybrid form of soto emphasising meditation and ignorance, the meditation is helpful and the elevation of ignorance into some sacred necessity is not

r|zen is a scriptural non-meditative zen based on ch’an texts

i actually think there’s a possibility it will survive and i have unwittingly contributed to its development and in the usual manner of these things am now a heretic

i can’t go back there at all because they delete my OP’s, that’s what really makes them a religion, they need to censor because its false and if they don’t censor , someone like me will effectively deconstruct it

i would have actually gone back except for them deleting my best OP’s, its like being disarmed before entering a gun fight

their  “ bottom turtle ” is the presumption of the infallibility of the  “ ch’an records ” ,  if you take the view that i do, that the records are  “ novelistic ” ,  the religion evaporates, just like christianity and isalm do when jesus and muhammad are correctly understood as fictions and not historical

if you are working with a laser for god’s sake, check out the class and whether you need wavelength matched safety glasses

damage would show as a blind spot in the vision and some brightness etc as an afterimage

the eye can still recover from severe damage over a period of months, its just depends on the degree of damage

some laser pointers can be above their claimed class

people imagine that feelings are clear and unambiguous

but they’re not

show

and

tell

william

tell

what

the

hell

the modern propensity for self revelation requires skill to navigate to keep the consequences in the right court, you can see this on the various tv etc shows

i don’t plagiarize

but let other poets provide

a seed that grows

to be a poet

one needs personal truth

moderated

with

what

is

true


the form of a poem unseen

the words tumble out

spilling through my fingers

onto

the page

the citadel

alone in a sea of red

man or maiden

who can say ?

colour temperature is a VERY important factor in choosing lighting, leds can have trouble being too white, higher colour temperatures are  “ cooler ”  and lower colour temperatures are  “ warmer ”

i could explain it more, but i think with google its reasonable to expect people to research

some people string a few fancy words together and think they have a question

like beethovan’s für elise, claude debussy’s  clair de lune  is a melancholic oprhan that seems to come from nowhere, yet both speak to our emotions so directly making them among the greatest piano pieces ever written

there’s an interesting contrast between the marvellous engineering of the  gun turrets  of the yamoto and the incompetence of the politics and naval command that it was in service of

how can these gun turrets have been got so right yet the strategic management of the war been so wrong minded ?

i think its that you have a very defined function and closed feedback loops with respect to its performance whereas strategy involves predicting the future and that’s a very fraught area

when i started

i was already at the end

years ago

and i just noticed now

so many years later

the

end

hasn’t

changed

just

my

perception

of

it

when i started

i was already at the end

years ago

and i just noticed now

so many years later

the

end

hasn’t

changed

larry lawton on the  inner workings  of the mob

a million hours of meditation is going to do you no good

if

you

censor

your

experience

if there’s this world, then tautologically there must be other worlds

where are they ?

if there’s this world, then tautologically there must be other worlds

what are they ?

i suppose i am attractive to the mentally ill

i’m some combination of a relief and a  “ mark ”  to them

i can’t even find any  “ past lives ”  to deserve that sort of karma from


unbelievable, los angeles to st. petersburg, 123 years ago osip mandelstam was a child  in those streets

interestingly  the show  is highly unusual for a female performer for not being  “ sexualized ”

what drives it is the interaction between the performers and the audience with the common experience of the songs

when i was at primary school, the chaplin used to warn us about the book of revelations being  “ bad ”

he had lived in africa as a missionary so i think he knew what he was talking about

however the book turns out to be a diatribe against domitian caesar which i think has somewhat muted its focus as a schizophrenic latchpoint

a friend is a temporary ally in the vicissitudes of life

a friend is a temporary alliance against the vicissitudes of life

a friend is a temporary alliance against the vicissitudes of life

one of the problems young people have is media destroy any notion of  “ craft  “   they are simply flicking switches to get entertainment and have no idea of the degree of craft behind what they watch or listen to

education has a similar impart

if you are puzzled by what i say, they are basically things we already know, just give them a while, they will make sense

happy and its polar opposite  —  unhappy

are not

polar

opposites

the severely depressed captain of flight MH370, Zaharie Shah, killed the passengers and co-pilot by locking the co-pilot out of the cockpit, depressurizing the cabin and flying to a higher altitude

a well planned suicide and not such  a mystery  now

Brad  Warner

do you think that there’s such a thing

as being spread too thin

in too many directions

especially when there wasn’t much there

in the first place

the white beaches of nullity

let the grains rotate

and something else arises

the white beaches of nullity

let the grains rotate

and something else

arises

god, rupi kaur is female bullshit masquerading as quality

shows the depth out there doesn’t it ?

the problem of monotheism is this

if you say there is one god, that implies there are other gods and if you look at supposedly monotheistic religions you see other gods, angels in various rankings, saints, bodhisattvas, buddhas endlessly permuting in their various tableaux

the historical schismic activity of christianity is largely tied up in the relation of the father, son and holy ghost

go figure

the thing about the web is you are right at the end of the publishing chain with no filtering on the level of craft

this has good and bad aspects, the positive is that you are being published without what used to be the necessary comformance to the various editorial, corporate and social requirements

the negative is mosquito filled swamp of the craftless, or worse, the anti-crafters who then devote their lives to trying to take down any level of craft they can hit

you are comfortable on r|zen

they are pretenders

that makes you

a

 . . . . . . . . . ?

those chasing literary skills

without craft

dreamers

r|zen

chasing literary skills

without craft

dreamers


there’s nothing new

it just rotates so it looks like there is

after a while

you get wise

then

death

takes you

for knowing

ed. one of my best poems, i worry about not being able to do quality like this anymore, but they keep turning up

i don’t know why or where they come from except a persistent interest in the subject referenced, but the poem is put together in a new way, does a migraine help?, i have a migraine

the second line has subtle ellipsis, you have to work out the what it means, but you should understand automatically

on reflection

ideas about ourselves

vanish like smoke

ideas about ourselves

vanish as smoke

kyle sandilands is a fool when it comes to women, but then, what man isn’t ?

young women have old men for breakfast kyle

get it ?

ed.  rather amusing, i wrote breastfast for breakfast for breakfats

there’s an infinite number of potential languages, in themselves they have no value, its only use that gives them value

philosophy babble

endless

meaningless hubric

the pompous idiot

shovelling words

like shovelling clay

and as much use

typical japan, hounding carlos ghosn for doing nothing remarkable in the way of graft by japanese standards, but not a single person responsble for the fukushima disaster has been touched

bentinho massaro is using the da free john/free daist formula,   party  and sex to glue his cult together

he’s a good dancer ,  but dancers don’t have the right sort of brain for thinking straight

just people wasting their time, the way i have spent my life, i can’t criticize

all these highly concussive sports are doomed and there’s not much that isn’t, however handball looks ok

nora mørk 

denmark versus france   2016

meth or speed  and it would be dangerous not to give the bike to him

there’s a theory about the evolution of humans as a self-domesticating species that ultra aggressive people were killed by the group

you’re the lead clown

in the usual

spiritual circus ?

what audience is there ?

none

there is no end, but returning cycles of endlessness

you can go through your life

and then discover

your children are not you

a hidden agenda of bullshit is not going to get you far

i don’t even believe in  “ whole truth ” ,  its just more nonsense and another disguised monotheism

“ if something isn’t true  .  .  .  does that mean that its false ? ”

what does it being true mean ?

“ what is meant by meaning ? ”

truth is recursive on falsity

i had two homilies in mind

i wrote the first and forgot the second

story of my life

don’t rest in peace forgotten homily, i hope to see you resurrected

whatever language you speak

that’s your culture

whatever language you speak, that’s your culture

i don’t even believe in  “ whole truth ” ,  its just more nonsense and another disguised monotheism

religion is the medieval world brought into the 21st century

for instance the supposed  “ infallibility ”  of the pope, it doesn’t make sense now but in the medieval world it was an instrument of political control and made sense in that context with the hidden undercurrents of torture and execution for doctrinal heterodoxy

things i cannot understand

restaurants with toxic food and exhorbitant prices

women on multiple pyschiatric meds in denial about severe side effects

an education system that squeezes its pupils into moronacy

the projection of infallibility onto the higher ranking medical people

philosophy says you can explain, but mysticism says you can’t explain

“ what do you say ? ”

you can and can’t explain, but basically you can’t convey your own experience in this respect to another

“ you seem ambiguous ”

its not

when we sleep, the brain is not metabolising sufficiently to keep itself warm enough which is one reason why we dream so i would be cautious of these new  “ cool head ”  pillows and copper laced covers (anti-bacterial, but also thermally conductive)

i quite like these  summary videos  since philosophers express things in such an idiosyncratic manner with their own tailored vocabularies  (yes, a schizophrenic symptom)  that’s its a lifetime to understand even one and to be frank, their writings and views are so often a confused babble that you never come across one who doesn’t

keep up the good work alain, though i, personally, have better things to do

an-other

i think hiedegger treats death as a bit real and boundarized, this makes  “ being ”  more real than it actually is

nostalgia is the crafting of a more ideal world than any we ever lived in

the universe is larger than any religion, philosophy, metaphysics, theology or physics, quite a bit larger

let them build boxes around themselves, why would you want to stop them anyway ?

i was thinking, if i had led a more conventional life, i would be feeling i wanted to do more, but i don’t feel that way at all with what i am doing

heidegger is looking increasingly toxic with recent revelations about his unrepentant nazism 

philosophy doesn’t like to address the notion that if heidegger was a great philosopher, then what is philosophy about ?

i’ll never forget in the early days of the web a man’s account of his father being executed by a couple of teamsters union people i think

they just drove up to their house, took him out to the garage and shot him in front of this young boy

it always amazes me the very low level of reading comprehension on the web and the extreme aggression used to defend it, just about all the replies to my comments or OP’s are people who take two or three keywords out of my writing and build their own little projection around those words

it gets weirder, i post on r|poetry and in one of my  “ conversations ”  with a moderator it turns out he doesn’t like or understand poetry, i would have to say this sort of insanity is more typical than it should be, its sorta a dunning-kruger nightmare, incompetence establishing and dominating territories in areas they are so clueless, they cannot even perceive their incompetence and actually the  “ spiritual scene ”  is like this as well

if you have a mission to  “ educate ”  entitled schizophrenics, then the web is the place to do it

if you work with people, you get along much better with them

the weirdness of youtube with so many really great pianists and enough recordings that one can become a connoisseur

i notice that most recitalists seem to have a particular composers they are in harmony with and play better than other composers

this expressive and softish  rendition  of la campanella by tiffany poon seems one of those performances

if you get distracted

you might be tempted

to think there’s something

when there’s nothing

splashing in a puddle of non-resolution

is not resolution

splashing in a puddle of non-resolution

is

not

resolution

what you are doing is a volunteer activity at this point, the golden rule for volunteer work is it must also return to you some substantial benefit, its usually never money but improved skills or an entree into another more interesting life, so i would say follow your own interest and benefit and not pay too much attention to the needs and opinions of others

see the faces

outside

the uniforms

see the faces

outside

the

uniforms

you never understand what a funny thing language is until you hear people talking in another that you don’t understand

you never understand what a funny thing language is until you hear people talking in another

all this phoney  “ compassion ”  and  “ live for others ”  buddhist bullshit, if you don’t prioritize yourself to a major extent, life becomes unliveable


just to stand there

lost beneath the night sky

the southern cross and pointers

where you went

nobody knows

you are always jumping ship before the ship sinks

but sometimes you have jumped ship and it didn’t sink

aubrey plaza is an interesting mix, half puerto rican, half irish ancestry, she had a stroke at 20 with resultant expressive aphasia and a temporary paralyis

she has a  “ unique ”  and very effective dialog style, owing quite a bit to improv experience, but its half herself and is partly born out of the permanent component of the stroke injury

given the degree of her recovery and intelligent edge, i would say high BDNF  (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) ,  not unusual with hybrid breeding

look

look again

cogitate

look at something else

then

it

will

click

look

look again

cog-i-tate

look at something else

then

it

will

click

100 different ways to look at something

some will settle out

100 different ways to look at something

some settle out

some people go direct

i rummage through everything that’s not

then end up in the direct

by that process of

exclusion

its so weird to look out and say

wel that’s the way and i have been there before

there’s no other option that’s real

buried with arrows, spears; the real amazons, fighting  horsewomen  of the forest steppes

why is sincerity important in an apology ?

because you can predict future behavior from that

when people become famous

the world closes off for them

a circumference of predators

sometimes you can approach things directly

sometimes you have to approach things indirectly

because for you there’s no direct route

you  (ed. lurkersim)  have a major problem with senseless ambiguity, the way you use it, its a sophistical technique designed to confuse and make you appear more on the ball than you are

you spend a lot of time writing, yet you don’t hear my criticisms of it

the trauma of sleep

the brain falls down

and is built

back up

i think any creative art has the statistical problem, that only 1% of what is written, composed, created is really very good and will stand unopposed in the public domain

you have to approach this  “ peak ”  through the other 99% ,  it can’t be approached any other way

i think this is the barrier to being a competent artist or writer otherwise every flakehead on the net would be significant

criminality has two faces ,  as a business or as some form of temporary or more persistent insanity

as a business, school or public massacres don’t make any sense, why would you do it, as insanity you gave to accept the origins come from within the system, particularly school shootings, somehow or other violence has been learnt as a problem solving technique, compulsory education is violent, a massive societal trauma

entertainment is surprisingly ruthless as a business

thumbs up or thumbs down

don’t waver in the middle

fiction

the reversal of death

the amelioration of the pain of loss

fiction

fiction

the reversal of death

the amelioration of the pain of loss

fat chance

i think religion depends on artistic illiteracy

if you are not artistically illiterate

why would you waste your time

with

religion


déjà vu

☐  does lie

☐  doesn’t lie

check one

or

two

katy grannan

portraits       video

in the west against the fading blue of the dusk sky

only the classic symbol showing

a thin crescent moon and evening star spaced far apart

it seems more than the stupid politics

devoid of politics

i

quite

like

it


the easiest way to see that this world is insane is the price paid for jeff koons’s  rabbit 1986

$91,075,00

$53,000,000 for andy warhol’s  “ double elvis [ferus type] ,  1963 ”  is a close second

its makes me wonder what it will take to puncture the bubble of tens of millions paid for bad kitsch

who would have thought the super rich were such an easy mark ?

the galleries, auction houses and art experts, that’s who

quite a little ecosystem going on there, it may be that the intellectual  downsizing  of modern art is integral to its appeal

i quite like  tschabalal self

the smaller fry

why are all the guests on buddha at the gas pump so consistently schizophrenic ?

you would be hard pressed, even if you intended only schizophrenic guests to have such consistency

i can only think its the total rejection of any signs of sanity on concious and unconcious levels

i used to wonder how activites like this can persist, but people take it to the end of their lives, then some-one else steps in

rick’s health and mind look like they are failing a bit, at some point its going to be embarrassing to be interviewed by him, even the unkown crazies he interviews will baulk

totally surreal, fishing in  a glassy fjord

i haven’t been there

but

i could

looking at the lyrics to billie eilishe’s  bury a friend ,  its a good example of how lyrics differ from semantically dense poetry

basically its vapourware, its the wrong side of voynich versus coherence, you can look at it, but it never yields hard semantics, it hooks straight into the brain via the voice and sound and it leaves mental noise which is how a generation is being brought up today

i am there in sleep

various shaped

monster and non monster

don’t ask

where

i go

my brain rebels

at knowing something

too well

my brain rebels

at knowing

something

too well

fiction

the reversal of death

the negation of finality

more fiction

yuja wang  intimidates  the berlin philharmoniker with her virtuosity playing prokofiev’s toccata in D minor, Op. 11 as an encore

i’ve looked at a number of composers and performers across a number of musical genres and with a few exceptions they are really quite ordinary minds ,  but competent at what they do

which is what you would expect, but all the same its disheartening

i’ve looked at a number of composers and performers across a number of musical genres and with possibly one exception they are really quite ordinary minds ,  but competent at what they do

which is what you would expect, but all the same its disheartening

an amazing afternoon walk at somerset beach, tide out, table cape to the west, surreal in the haze and distance

and i wasn’t bothered by any new poems

the circus of aging

inspiration or plagiaristic source ?

double talk in the music industry

yup

i’m even banned from r|poetry

thugs controlling message boards

fiction

something that’s not true

but there’s an ambiguity about that

fiction sometimes has more insight than reality

religion these days

people voluntarily believe what once it took the prospect of a  dire death  to make them believe

religion these days

people voluntarily believe what once it took the prospect of a  dire death  to make them

as a publishing medium the web suffers one flaw

the drug takers and schizophrenic low lifes, missionizing whatever crap they are fixed to

the druggies take over everything validating their drug taking

so much of the web

the usual shit to validate drug taking ?

these people slime in everywhere

look

its an endless road

don’t look

and it doesn’t appear endless

look

its an endless road

don’t look and it doesn’t appear endless

a bit of an explanation

also known as

spinning a song and dance

some-one’s gone

emily cries

her dress

she

shouldn’t

wear

ed.  this references emily dickinson’s  poem   “ before the ice is in the pools ”


fiction

the reversibility of death

the sting of its finality

gone

fiction

the discontinuity of life

we are there

and

then we aren’t

reincarnation is a variation of the hypothesized  “ afterlife ”  so essential to religions and part of the same denial of the discontinuity of existance

tiffany poon  time travels  on original instruments

visionary and mystic experiences are quite different from the deluded twaddle of mediums and that sort of schizophrenic nonsense

i was thinking, if you limit yourself to your own generation as you get into middle age and beyond, its not going to leave much is it ?

there are surprising similarities between music festivals and medieval morality plays, moral messages, altered states of being, really significant cultural events in terms of forming outlook

listen to the audience  sing along ,  unreal for the songs impact

billie eilish, handling the audience ,  i was going to say  “ like a pro ”  but its  “ as a pro ”

home schooled like alma deutscher, she shortcircuited the ten years necessary to unlearn state schooling and then another ten years to skill up, but which time of course, everything has faded

anybody who appears on  “ buddha at the gaspump ”  is schizophrenic, or rather the brainless mad, schizophrenia is not necessarily brainless

the girl dreams of a lover

the lover dreams of a man

the man dreams of a lover

is it a girl or a man ?

a girl dreams of a lover

the lover dreams of a man

the man dreams of a lover

is it a girl or a man ?

the girl dreams of a lover

the lover dreams of a man

is the lover

a girl

or

a

 man ?

what is so fundamental about rejection ?

i almost think there’s nothing we feel so strongly

men and women both stamped

from their dies

women in particular

don’t seem to vary

its in front of your noses

its not in front of your noses

but the seeing beyond

is when

the beyond

sees you

jason’s corgi-centric  christmas card  2019

a very good  video  on UV adjusted IOP’s for cataract,  “ illuminating ”  even

basically the extra precision of the adjustments enables monovision to trump trifocal, but i still have questions about the long term stability of the cornea reducing the precision significantly, what is really wanted is a reversible adjustment

why the zennist

incompetence in spades

persists

i

do

not

know

why the zennists

incompetence in spades

persist

i

do

not

know

in outer space he yaws

a bullet shot from an inaccurate gun

he thinks he is on target

lurkersim’s poem titled   :   domes on the rocks

The capstones float undisturbed

in the nothing

they failed to note existent.

Form lost.

Form sustained.

my  reply

cap stones don’t float

they sink

in the

inverted world

if the understanding is not interior

you are wasting

your

time

stupid or wrong ideas often lead to better and more workable ones, be open to that path, in fact they may be the only route

ram dass has died, i remember seeing a video of him saying he once gave a talk on the effects of taking a psychoactive drug and this quite elderly lady came up after the talk and told him how what he said matched her own experience, he was puzzled as she seemed too old to have taken LSD or psilocybin etc so he asked her  “ how so ”  and she replied  “ i do embroidery ”

that was a good anecdote

i do think the drugs fucked his health

having been  “ following ”  brad warner for years and he is part of this very fake and incompetent musical culture, its quite amazing to compare it with the real mackoy, finneas and billie  eilish

home

this  xanny  is very good, social commentary really

within the surface of a circle or sphere, there is no end or start, but once outside that context you can say there is an end or start, namely removal from the surface

what is the end or start of  “ end or start ”

not so easy is it ?

“ in the midst of the word he was trying to say

in the midst of his laughter and glee

he had softly and suddenly vanished away  —

for the snark was a boojum, you see ”

the expansion of the universe is not due to dark matter, but an  an interaction  between quantum vacuum and topology

at the root of everything is the tautology of nonexistance implying existance within it

amazing that all springs from this simple meaning

all this religious bosh about non-thinking is so crazy one doesn’t begin to know where to start with criticism

you don’t have to look outside meaning

just get it right, that’s all

explanations fail

because explanations succeed

and

fail

my experience of people who do pot AND alcohol is it really fucks the brain permanently

in ten to twenty years they become to a degree derelict

you know you’re a hermit when you go to town thinking its the day before christmas eve and its actually christmas eve

i lose days or even gain them sometimes

i wonder if the uniqueness of the middle ages obsession with god was due to the prevalence of early death

go for a walk by yourself

you will see the world

a deserted beach

twixt late afternoon and evening

christmas eve

unbelievable

a deserted beach

late afternoon  —  early evening

christmas eve

unbelievable

all the films

are just script writers ideas of how the universe works

which turns out not to be very accurate

alexander the great asked the philospher thálmos if he had any advice for him

thálmos  replied

this is hard to explain as i have only recently worked it out myself ,  but when you reach the end of something ,  everything looks the same, you go forward and things still look the same ,  that just means you have reached the end though it goes on forever

beyond a certain age this is how we live ,  but its not the best for us  though it feels comfortable

cumulative subconcussive impacts can also cause brain damage

the old  sophisticated  mafia, i don’t think they work like that anymore

there’s two circles

the circle of contemporary life

and the circle of those over the ages with an understanding

unfortunately you need both

there’s two circles

the circle of contemporary life

and the circle of those over the ages with understanding

unfortunately you need both

the nothing of nothingness

compared to something

is not tangible, observable, discernible or obvious

being goes one way

non-being another

we understand things going wrong in terms of the way we look at things, but we don’t understand the way we look at things going wrong

so much of comedy and humour depends on the dunning-kreger effect;   inspector clouseau ,  morecombe and wise

people assume there are only the two categories, that something may be false or true, but there is a third category i call  “ voynich ” ,  which is nonsense crafted to appear true and so much of religious, political and cultural thought is this third category

five to six doesn’t seem so many years

but they are enough

to almost totally form

ourselves

5 or 6 don’t seem so many years

but they are enough

to almost totally form

ourselves

some things you find simple will maybe take others half a lifetime to find out, or never

some things others find simple will take you half a lifetime to find out or never

is there any such thing as a gestalt ?

or is it just another voynichy concept ?

salt should last the life of the universe, but this was felt to be too long so the saxa sea salt flakes i brought are   “ best before the eleventh of june 2022 ”

they don’t have any iodine in, but i get that essential element through eating thyroids and topical application

dawn in a rocky cove

sunlight

glistening on the sea weed

the sea shimmering in pink

the search for meaning

does

not go beyond this

brittin lane covering  mad world

there is an reflective quality in her voice, sad and bitter but accepting of the light beyond illness

“ the mind is the triple world ”  so why would you just read rather second rate zen books and not read the poetry of emily dickinson or john of the cross or the writings of sa’adi ?

that you can tell a zennist by their closed mindedness and getting upset when confronted with what they are not familiar with is an indictment of what ?

the world is wider than wide, why get bogged down in the stupids and their take on a religion ?

religion is one of the last remnants of medievalism in our society, beliefs, ceremonies, is it any wonder it has crashed ?

religion is the last remnant of medievalism in our society, beliefs, ceremonies, is it any wonder it has crashed ?

when you write, you alter your future

classical music is a bit weird because there’s such a reservoir of superlative performers but so little in the way of new music

the siren sounds  waltz  composed by alma deutscher

there’s also an interesting boundary condition with the instruments themselves versus what is now possible with electronics and the computer and i feel alma is not positioned right here

a million invitations sent

a tiny few replied to

a million invitations sent

one or two replied to

a million invitations sent

not even one replied to

its an interesting point, how to get benefit from commenting on vblogs, blogs or message boards

i’m learning not to  “ stitch ”  stories but allow the responding to bring one into fresh territory

some of my comments could be seen as anti-religious, but i’m not trying to change the world, rather, simply make observations to help one avoid the traps

i have been surprised how  “ christian ”  ch’an was compared to daoism and buddhism and its because when ch’an was being formed there was nestorian (non-trinitarian) christianity in china

that also explains why zen has slotted so well into western culture, zen in a way is monotheistic leaning to the  “ ineffable ”  side, and since trinitarianism is so obviously a thorn in christianity's side, the west has been very open to a reformed version like zen

of course another reformed version called islam it isn't open to at all because of its conflicts with the byzantine empire and of course, the crusades

my view is ch’an and zen are religions like the rest and like all religions they have a mystical branch and you can argue that dogen, hakuin, the sixth patriarch and joshu are the mystical, but in the main its the usual religion mired in bullshit

buddha said, please get me out of this soap opera and let me fade back to non-existance

eihei wrote a book, brad wrote a book, i didn’t write a book, who is the winner ?

actually i don’t think eihei wrote a book at all, that just leaves brad

me, i am into  “ fascicles ”  and their web equivalents

the problem with a book for this sort of work is it has too much story line stitched into it

ed.  eiehei dogen and brad warner

how long have you been dribbling nonsense ?

“ i haven’t been dribbling nonsense ”

those people who dribble nonsense don’t think they are dribbling nonsense

“ silence ”

how long have you been dribbling nonsense ?

“ i haven’t been dribbling nonsense ”

those people who dribble nonsense don’t think they dribble nonsense

“ silence ”

the visual effects at  this   “ yellow lounge ”  event with sara ott and mischa maisky are really relaxing

claude debussy at his best


the verbal world is so full of disguises

that to say what you mean

and be understood

is unique

the way some people treat their brains

like its the most useless bit of trash ever

they loudly project

competence onto remote others

while those around them

they diss

the way some people treat their brains

like its the most useless bit of trash ever

they loudly project

competence onto remote others

those around them

they diss

the ages spew sages

who vomit nonsense

which metamorphoses

into life

and strife

ed.   :   my version of the creation myth

the ages spew sages

who vomit nonsense

which metamorphoses

into life

“ why do you write poetry ? ”

as an escape

“ as an escape from what ?”

the dullness of the world

“ why do you write poetry ? ”

as an escape

“ as an escape from what ?”

from the dullness of the world

“ why do you write poetry ? ”

as an escape

“ as an escape from what ”

an escape from the dullness of the world

caprice no. 5 by paganni

played  by sumina studer

women are a nightmare

one’s enough trouble for anyone

or in my case

naught

i really like the  “ 3M ”  brand masks, i have  this one

the difference between fiberglass and asbestos is the fiberglass eventually comes out but asbestos continually splits so never does and eventually causes cancer

whatever viewpoint you are defending, you are not a good advertisement for it

i don’t like lasik because you are really messing the eye up for an effect that will only last five to twelve years

the cornea is in fact the eyes  “ first lens  “  and is a flexible dome

sight is too precious to take unnecessary risks with the eye

all eye stuff is  “ let the buyer be beware ” there has to be a very substantial benefit to justify lasik

religion and actually education as well devalue the notion of  “ craft ”  in developing ideas

the universal pictures film  cats  looks a cinematic failure, they haven’t been able to translate it from a stage show into a film

disney could teach them a thing or two

actually i think it was always doomed, i wouldn’t have paid thirty cents for the film rights, all they had to do was read the poem

life erodes

health erodes

death erodes

you might

as well

relax

“ is it right ? ”

i don’t know what you mean by right

is it correct enough to be of utility is what i would ask

the ability to wait is the gold of life

those rabid web commenters whose expertise is in grinding axes to become blunter than they were before

eihei dogen being entirely fallible is just as problematic as him being entirely infallible

mésalliance, a word hardly understood these days, but so commonly occurring

jan zwicky  reads  her poem  “ night music ”

being a man and its a woman’s poem, it took me several views to  “ get it ”

i like the last lines

this talk  by diana athill gives a lot of the flavour of  “ 1984 ”  sort of seminal to the book i think, that aura of constant threatened survival and actual deprivation

i think the criticism of “ overthinking ”  is not that we are “ overthinking ” ,  but our prediction options become too narrow and therefore out of sync with reasonable probabilities, anti-dialogical and monoglossial if you will

unfortunately that is also the road of  “ spiritual inquiry ”

easy to entrench a wrong road like martin heidegger with his nazism and anti-semitism

maths is the language of numbers, graphs and geometry, that’s all it is

it is an negentropic device to deal with counting, a form of perception and prediction, just like our conventional use of language

i would challenge that eihei dogen said/wrote in favour of the validation of the notion of  “ universal oneness ” ,  its just the usual translator bias and philological slackness and its not a ch’an or zen ideological sticking point at all

the notion actually is quite christian, or at least, non trinitarian/pantheist christian

its a voynich cultural idea that’s been floating around for millennia, the usual nonsense regurgitated by the moron masses and their  “ scribes ”

the land of the midnight sun

a calm sea

but not always

i’m getting like charles bukowski in my old age

and actually i don’t have too many years before i will have lived longer than him

he sat down in the evenings at a typewriter with whisky and the classical station on the radio and wrote

i don’t drink and surf the web and write

i listen to the occasional  music video

its the end of time and not

i could do this forever

i’m not sure i want to


in what dimension do i exist ?

in what dimension did anne sexton exist ?

cycles of birth and death

one survives, the other doesn’t

the dead sea scrolls would have to be the most overrated and useless collection of writing from antiquity

only insane fools would waste their time on them

miles and miles of voynich

who cares ?

the library of herculaneum is not much better, they lucked out with it effectively being the repository of a rather    dull    and stupid philosophical sect  ( philodemus )  though the villa they were housed in is spectacular

the epicureans can be a bit stupid but philodemus seems different, a live wire and probably a causative influence on the cultural sybaritism of the roman ruling class

nag hammadi, with some exceptions is a collection of psychotic junk

the real stuff, like sappho is lost forever

the human species is perverse

at a certain point

you get to yourself

the endlessness of other

not infinity

its boring

a happily married couple

two matching illusions

people who are so self-absorbed who can’t see their nose from their arse

vampires of neediness

people who are so self-absorbed who can’t see their nose for their arse

vampires of neediness

people who are so self-absorbed who can’t see from their nose to their arse

vampires of neediness

incredibly modern looking, but the real thing from 3500 years ago, a  seal stone  of a fight to the death, it has a magnification option

full article

fictions versus realities

the fictions sit easier on us

side effects from medications for other conditions are an underrated cause of eye problems

arabs and other middle easterns are smart, but can be aggressive, a bit mad even

a philosopher is one who asks meaningless questions and spends the rest of his life solving them

he thinks he has spent his time meaningfully

the poet tells him otherwise

one thinks endlessly

conflates, deflates, inflates, postulates

dislocates, locates, synthesizes, pares

deconstructs, constructs

 ladders built to nowhere ?

the end is not the end

the end is infinite

you can waddle there forever

when you write

you are modifying

your

memories

i look for my kind

not my family, not those i know

looking everywhere

nothing finding

only myself

i can glimpse my kind in books

through

the ages

that is

all

the difference between visual art and books is the level of construction required by the looker/reader/observer which is why books can have a more profound effect because the art of writing is to enable the reader to construct or rather fit what they read to their own paradigms and experience

hallmark and other  “ second tier ”  actresses seem an unusual bunch, multi-talented but pretty mediocre in any one talent, singing, music, languages, more than one culture and of course aging

on the whole much saner than the more well known ones

multi-tasking has intrinsic elements of dialogic, heteroglossia and canivalism, more focused lives that deprecate these will be unpleasantly unstable

a lot of life requires we think in a slightly different way, what actually has worked, more is not necessarily better

you want to be more open to how things might be, its very difficult to predict the future

its the nature of work you are in an inferior position

you are not the boss, you are an underling

the way to rort the system is let the job pay you very much more than the cash in skills gained and this requires your own research outside job hours as well

enlightenment is just a certain sort of understanding, but the hidden clause is it requires you to live to a certain level of consistency with that understanding which is hard

why would you have to fight tooth and nail to defend your views which most seem to do

what stands alone can support itself thank-you

harp seals  look cute ,  but its a ruthless life when your mother abandons you at ten days old

the r|zen sub got taken over by a  “ ewk convert ”  ie  theksepyro

the mods wanted me gone so i eventually took the hint

my mistake was to think they were stupid, but they were extremely clever in the way they delete the best OP’s to keep it on the perverse track they like

basically they have won, pirates capturing the r|zen subreddit from what used to be community run

glad to see when some-one else brings up the censorship, they like to pretend there is none

the guru dregs

the number of volunteer salesmen around for this or that guru or  “ spiritual teacher ”  amazes me

like if they at least were paid it would be understandable

but as it is, promoting shitty idiots for nothing

why ?


one step

another step

a hundred steps later

to your surprise

you have got somewhere

a poem

something that makes sense

despite the words


a word to the wise

if the wise don’t hear

how much more so

the

ignorant

mental work is physically exhausting

physical work is mentally exhausting

“ ch’an masters ”  is a literary fiction

wanderingroninxiii

why r|zen is messing you

what i noticed is that initially the mods used to delete a lot of your OP’s, but you conformed and it hurt you, you fell into their stupidity

it took me a while to work out, but i had the same problem, the mods were deleting my best OP’s, that's when i figured it was a subtle form of banning, they really don’t want me so i have completely stopped posting there and that’s worked for me, i still read it occasionally and every time i want to post, i think, well they will just delete my OP's again and have to put up with ewk’s harassment, i just don’t want that trauma again

you lost your self-integrity

“ dunning-kruger ”  describes so much of the net and if we are honest, we can see it in ourselves

“ enlightenment is the knowledge that all experience is transitory including the experience of enlightenment ”

if its transitory its not the real thing and the fact its not transitory is why it hardly ever happens, no-one wants their life turned upside down, better just to waffle in the usual bullshit

the aliens

playing  at the end of time

dissonant

wrong cords in sequence don’t paper over bad claims for understanding

wome who do drugs and drink in their prime

get fucked over

when the  “ pauses ”  hit

late onset schizophrenia

i

am

afraid

ronin has left r|zen

a man going in circles

“ will he always go in circles ? ”

yes, he will always go in circles

he’s schizophrenic

a million monkeys

at a million typewriters

every sentence they write

makes

a

religion

admidst all the mountainous  brickabrak  of stone in all the world’s mountains

there’s one with writing on

find

it

and

read it

“ what did it say ? ”

only your own experience is valid

my poetry

not jewellery adorning a nonexistant intellectual prowess

nor a sentimental slush offering  “ comfort ”

not even a fresh breeze cooling the day

but

something

else

how you find it

you’ll know

my poetry

not jewellery adorning a nonexistant intellectual prowess

nor a sentimental slush offering  “ comfort ”

not even a fresh breeze cooling the day

but

something

else

“ where do your poems come from ? ”

still working on that

there’s something appealing about these videos, its a  mother’s interest  in her child

i am the world

therefore when i cease

 what happens to the world ?

i am the world

therefore when i cease

the world ceases

how to climb  the matterhorn

no. one rule, choose the weather

no. 2  be fit

no. three follow the signs and use the handily placed ropes and chains  (very swiss)

all in all doesn’t look that difficult, but since i have seen the video, i don’t think i’ll bother

there is no existance or meaning to existance

outside of existance

ferals at the end of time

all you can do

is make

your

peace

with

them

everything is a sign

misdirection

points to

direction

when you get to the end

there’s nothing

except you

and the odd feral

and a sort of beauty

wish i could say there’s more

but there isn’t

otherwise

it

wouldn’t

be

the

end

hope is a bird

that hops like a wallaby

always a chimera

that mixes with pathos

netflix are following in a long tradition of renaissance art in portraying jesus  as gay

everything propagates away

in a million directions

not quite worthless

but not having utility

the real and useful

is only a tiny proportion

everything just propagates away

in a million directions

not quite worthless

but not having utility

the real and useful

is

only

a tiny

proportion

i quite like posting  “ entertainment links ”

people are necessarily in denial about quality writing and thinking, but no-one is in denial about quality musicianship, they have to listen, take it on board and it stretches them

what distinguishes  “ virtuoso ”  guitar players is the ability to  pluck the fret

bach’s  prelude  no.  2 in C minor

a very good  interview  with margaret attwood, can’t say her writing interests me, but as a person she comes across very well

her parents were from nova scotia, that island of autism, i even had an ancestor that stopped off there for a while

endless the wind, yet it has its pauses

the tragedy of getting old is we lose contact with our childhood, its always there of course but in a sense we have lost touch with it

“ god says yes to me ”  a meme-ic poem by kaylin haught

i asked god if it was okay to be melodramatic

and she said yes

i asked her if it was okay to be short

and she said it sure is

i asked her if i could wear nail polish

or not wear nail polish

and she said honey

she calls me that sometimes

she said you can do just exactly

what you want to

thanks god i said

and is it even okay if i don’t paragraph

my letters

sweetcakes god said

who knows where she picked that up

what i’m telling you is

yes   yes   yes

my counterpoint

“ i asked god if it was okay to be melodramatic ”

he said, keep a lid on it

“ i asked her if it was okay to be short ”

he said, you just have no idea do you ?

i asked her if i could wear nail polish

he replied you’re not gay and format your writing in a way that the writing likes best

i’m not here and neither are you and that’s both our problem

if some-one is insane

and you try to tell them they are insane

that makes you insane

vacate if you can

its an education you can do without

if you can’t

make the most of the education

if some-one is insane

and you try to tell them they are insane

that makes you insane

vacate if you can

its an education you can do without

if some-one is insane

and you try to tell them they are insane

that makes you insane

women make these little narratives they follow through

the road is littered with corpses of men and themselves

abscure

obscure    abscond

too early  a weaning  makes you susceptible to developing type 2 diabetes in later life

lurkersim replied to my  “ trapped ”  poem

stop the world then be its pace.  you need to make things more real, knowing you do.

but perhaps that was prose.  so a shadow i sharpened

my  reply

stop the world  —  impossible to pace

real is relative and so is prose

a shadow i sharpened turned into a rose

the noise of the world offers no solace

white island has  erupted   (december 2019)  killing or giving extreme burn injuries to tourists caught on the island

i think what makes it so dangerous, apart from the unpredictability is the funnelling effect of the crater

when i was a child we had a holiday house at ohope and could often see white island smoking away in the distance

tour videos

by helicopter      by boat


to be trapped in flickering shadows that pass

surely there must be something more real ?

you write

you say something interesting

you put it clearly

then you are disappointed people understand it

i don’t know akhmatova well

perhaps she gave herself to writing too much

a flaw of the process

i think its fundamental we only come this way once, all the buddhist crap about karma and re-incarnation couldn’t be more misguided

the first item from tiāntóng rújìng’s list of  do nots  told to eihei dogen

“ you must not have prolonged illness ”

yup eihei diogen picked up tuberculosis in china, i’d re-translate what rújìng says as  “ pay attention to your health ”  and in fact dogen completely missed the point of sun drying mushrooms, they were a source of vitamin D in winter, something that would be a big help in TB resistance

one of the problems with psychiatric medications is the way side effects are ignored, its absolutely normal now for people to be prescribed three or more medications and the side effects of these combinations can be very destructive, when i was posting on r|docs there was lot of this and complete denial as to what was happening


what a religion is has always puzzled me, i have never seen a satisfactory definition and it is confusing because some  “ religions ”  like buddhism and zen claim not to be religions

what i have found is a religion can be defined as anti-dialogic, monoglossial and the carnivalism is ritualised

r|zen is highly illustrative of something that is attempting to form a religion, it has a good grip on the anti-dialogical through censorship and is disgustingly overloaded with the fake carnivalism, however why it won’t ever make it as a religion is the problem intrinsic to being a message board, a lot of different voices coming from many directions so is somewhat heteroglossial

interestingly, the web as a social and literary medium is highly dialogic and heteroglossial, but as a result of millenial entitlement is losing a robust sense of carnivalism that used to be much more acceptable, in terms of society, two out of three is as good as you can get, nazi germany and stalinst russia were zero on all three, mikhail bakhtin barely escaped the gulags, his writings seem too obscure to capture the interest of the  OGPU, but actually at a fundamental philosphical level he deconstructed the soviet state

the inability for any society to fulfill all three categories means their inevitable dissolution, whereas quality literature fills all three and it lasts

“ gripping ”  to watch

climbing  the southern tip of ayères via a guide book of the 1959 vaucher route

yes, they consult the book on the way up

william blake must have got his  muscular   “ archetype ”  from michelangelo, but he wasn’t gay like michelangelo so really it doesn’t fit, if you look at the fresco carefully, there's nothing new about  “ transgender ”

michelangelo was just painting the homosexual equivalent of voluptuous female nudes, says a lot about the catholic church doesn’t it ?

triglycerides in the blood triggers the innate immune system in a  destructive way

triglycerides are the main constituents of body fat, no wonder being overweight is so destructive to health

interests in childhood are so determining of directions in later life

he must have seen  this  as a child to want to create  this  as an adult

the mystical path is an odd sort of path, you can’t see ahead but you can see where you’ve come

there really is only your own experience and not some external system you can slot a person’s  “ progress ”  into

hmm, you should apply spray paint using  short quick bursts

basically writing is a form of memory

except what you write will shape your future

basically writing is a form of memory

except what you write will shape future memory

there’s an exercise you can do for dry eyes  (counter-intuitively a watery eye is symptomatic)  to dampen the immune response which causes the problem, just move them left and right, up and down and diagonally as far as they go

you do this occasionally, the effect is not immediate, but a bit later

supplementation with a small amount of selenomethioine also helps

screen use can be causative

when i wake in the morning

its like being dragged out of bed by a polar bear

its not of this world or any other

from ice covered water into what is not much better

maybe a seal flapping on a polar ice cap surrounded by predators

half an hour later i am ready to rise

escaping back into the reality of living

melancholy with its sense of things gone before they start

the fake and the real

but the real turns out to be fake

and the fake real

you really get a sense of a  different culture  with this yemeni jewish song and a sense of the importance such singing must have had in a pre-modern society, much more participatory than today’s bland consumer nonsense

the increased cancer risk from drinking  is linearly proportional  to the amount drunk

its mostly in the fun areas of the colorectum, stomach, breast, prostate, and esophagus

basically philosophy ignores the problem of recursion which is why it is a waste of time

poetry doesn’t

you can’t cope with recursion by conventional speaking

no wife, no life

have a wife, no life

somethings read the same

i’ve realised that there is often more than one version of a poem, printing on paper costs, so you never saw other versions, but with the web of course you can put up as many as seems right

listening  to this ,  i feel there is a better more polyphonic? version that will never be explored because of the cost

society worships medicine

if they worshipped plumbers it would seem absurd

and actually its absurd to worship medicine

basically its just another trade

the instability of the cornea is the hidden bogeyman of refractive surgery

mention it and they will just look blankly at you

hint   :   its a flexible dome that goethe knew something about

i think there’s an important point about this ,  hate emails  are remote, if these people lived close a certain proportion would attempt to intimidate through violence

insanity is a defence in a court of law, supposedly these people are not  “ rational ”  but is it that the bar is shifted? ,  they are going to tolerate the prospect of confinement in the implementation of their ideas whereas normally people will not tolerate the prospect of going to prison in almost any context

“ absence of personal evidence, is not the same thing as evidence of absence ” 

multiple presences of contrary evidence means it is wrong

a lot of this gender/trans/safe identity nonsense being pushed by certain sections of academia is schizophrenia asking or insisting on an exception to rational argument

you can’t have a free press in war time

observation, in itself, is an interactive process

what is observed defines you

as well as you defining it

everyone has these  damned ski poles  when hiking, the extra weight and attention required is not worth the imagined benefit


the wild rose

over the fence

i gave it some water

the next day

it flowered

young people with limited experience can’t be too fussy, does the job pay you in experience as well as money ?

a million times around

the same road

a trauma experienced a long time ago

why

do

i

 bother ?

this  is the work  of an extremely competent depressive, going in at life at too deep a level and to be swallowed by an imbalance of constructive effort versus final result

the academic system is producing literary vomit

the lives of contemporary poets are too smooth and lack refractive depth

to be honest the lyrics for choral music are gibberish, their heft comes from the music and sounds of the words, not the meaning of the lyrics

same here with  this composition  and i assume the lyrics are by roma ryan to fit the story, gibberish, but the music and sound stands alone

when auden seems weak

bukowski passé

emily incomprehensible

and sylvia outré

well

then

i suppose you can

always

write your own

the fact of observation calls something into being, the universe is observed and is therefore called into being

of course it has been observed in different ways and called into being in different ways

what does it mean for something to exist without observation ?

hilmar zonneveld replied

it simply means that something exists, but this existence can’t be verified

my  reply

who can’t verify it ?

hilmar zonneveld replies

well, you asked what it means for something to exist without observation. in the case you mention, NOBODY can observe it.  or at least, nobody HAS observed it

my  reply

yet it still has been observed, you can’t say something doesn’t exist because ipso facto it has already existed

hilmar zonneveld is being persistent and replies

“ you can’t say something doesn’t exist ”  i’m not sure what you mean here.  the point is, something may well exist even if it hasn’t been observed

my  reply

tell me something that exists that hasn’t been observed

the persistent hilmar zonneveld deflects

well, duh.  if it hasn’t been observed, we can’t know whether it exists

my  reply

hypothesis and speculation are forms of existence and observation, your reply is actually a form of speculation and implied existence/nonexistence, if you imply nonexistence, then that is a form of existence

cause and effect can be difficult to discern with medication side effects

idiots are ten a penny on the web

“ in  this paper ,  they explain that human behavior relies on predictions of future states of the environment  —  a best guess at what might happen  —  and the degree of uncertainty about that environment increases dramatically in social settings

to predict what might happen when another human is involved, a person makes a model of the other’s mind, called a theory of mind, and then uses that model to simulate how one’s own actions will affect that other  “ mind ” ”

white light during sleeping hours messes your circadian rhythm, the brain sees white/blue as daytime and red/no light as night

a dysfunctional circadian rhythm messes your immune system and that includes itsanti-cancer action

you  “ called ”  me

well i  “ called ”  you

why no reply ?

poetry is basically super-high negentropy

it can be  expanded  to say a lot

why would you take a medication without researching the side effects ?

drugs in combination trace new unknown spaces in terms of side effects

operations have downsides, what are they ?

billions of dollars of medical research on the web and no-one wants to know what may well save them a lot of ongoing trauma

what to write about ?

well, write about what you didn’t know until you wrote


i was never able to do zazen outside of it being compulsory, like the weekly zen group meeting or a sesshin or the daily routine at a center

interestingly at the springwater center where sitting was not compulsory i never sat at all, but went for walks

i’m much older now and i actually feel its unsafe to sit from a health point of view at my age

i do feel the sitting  (seiza)  i did was useful when younger, but i never actually did that much

zen historically was a celibate childless tradition, i am not sure how well it maps to  “ married with kids ”  and if its even worth bothering with zazen for them, it just could be quite the wrong road

the weird thing i find about  “ do nothing ”  contemplation, is you have to do quite a bit of it or you run into trouble, it can amplify mistakes and then you have to see the mistake and work your way through it, not a good thing if you have family responsibilities

my observation of 99% of people doing zen is they are wasting their time, they are getting as much or more wrong than they are getting right and are just not moving forward at all, or, to be honest, they are really going backwards and were better to have had nothing to do with zen

i think when you  “ grow out of something ”  you don’t lose the original but a wider horizon replaces what went before

so in the case of growing out of  “ sitting meditation ”  which really is the building of a certain sort of introspective awareness that becomes part of your normal activity, like i don’t sit, but i do spend several hours not doing anything most evenings, a sort of a contemplative or decompressive mode, there’s an endless tying of loose ends and looking at things in new ways that is constantly required

the problem with writing is you can spend a day writing and what have you to show for it ?

just some writing

its schizophrenic when they not actually interested in communicating

vladimir nabokov learned english as a child, all the same i don’t think multilingual speakers can write poetry properly

the very overrated opening lines from his overrated book  “ pale fire ”

i was the shadow of the waxwing slain

by the false azure in the windowpane

i was the smudge of ashen fluff  —  and i

lived on, flew on, in the reflected sky

and from the inside, too, i’d duplicate

myself, my lamp, an apple on a plate

uncurtaining the night, i’d let dark glass

hang all the furniture above the grass

and how delightful when a fall of snow

covered my glimpse of lawn and reached up so

as to make chair and bed exactly stand

upon that snow, out in that crystal land

my  comment

it says something, but doesn’t seem to say anything

the book is basically a failure imo, turn in your grave vladimir

poor vladimir

stuck in fantasies

being multilingual

he couldn’t quite bridge the gap

into poetry

a waxwing

flying into windowpane blue

thought to itself

that’s not the right hue

that damn nabakov

he kills with a pen

mirror image him commensurate

no bloody trawl from the sky’s pen for him

specious reflections

in centrally heated comfort

toss him out

into the crystal land

during my time in real life zen what i found it has most to offer that people on the web miss is the experience of socializing and dealing with people

so they just post rabidly and in real life that would cause severe problems

the sitting experience is useful or even essential but you should grow out of it, hardly anyone ever does though

where zen is weakest is its ipso facto religiosity, taking of zen texts as scripture and overall narrowness and lack of imagination, which was why i eventually left after visits to and stays at various centers, however the socializing experience was very important to me

ed gepixel asks

and what are you doing now ?

my  reply

walking the long road while i exist

i’m on my second pair of  “ online glasses ”  (from visiondirect)  and on balance, much prefer the online supplier to getting them from the optometrist

the price is about a third, i get the frame i want and i can modify the prescription to give me the monovision that suits

you need the PD and the bridge distance on the frame is important

there is an epidemic of shortsightedness occurring because children don’t play enough outside and get the distance use of the eyes

you have to agree to a certain point to talk productively

you may think you agree with me but you don’t

so i’m not going to waste my time arguing with you

you may even claim to think i know what i am talking about, but if i can say you are looking the wrong way at something and you argue the point, then you don’t think i know what i am on about, behavior trumps vacant claims

if you stop thinking there is an external world

or any world at all except yourself

things look different

claire greenwood is making progress,  poetic ,  no politics or zen dogma but a sort of stitching of her own experience

when you start to get it right, only the strange are around, the  “ norms ”  vacate

the nature of this world is unending

yet it has endings

the sums

add

and

don’t

add

what is this

 telling us ?

worlds that don’t add up

the  simulated prosthetics  of cgi

almost anything done by cgi actually

infinity

something stretches forever

what does that mean ?

i know about 6 words of samoan

20 words of french, several words of german, italian and spanish

and about 8 words of latin

i’m multilingual

we are basically negentropic organisms trying to parse negentropicalness from entropy in a world that is substantially, but not entirely, entropic

this, with a little finesse and work can be re-organised to form a somewhat persistent or non-persistent negentropical environment

we are basically negentropic organisms trying to parse negentropicalness from entropy in a world that is entropic, but with a little finesse and work can be re-organised to form a somewhat persistent or non-persistent negentropical environment

the human world is optimal, sub-optimal or downright flawed and insane depending on the negentropic perspective taken

the difference between a mechanistic physical and chemical universe and biology is that biology acts like thought, it is, on balance, negentropic

the difference between a mechanistic physical universe and biology is that biology acts like thought, it is, on balance, negentropic

jason  writes

here’s a tip/homily

don’t have so many toxic friends

they’re exhausting

they only fuel a toxic fire

there’s very little we can do that works

and actually this tempers us

we keep within the boundaries

its when they shift and we don’t realise or accept this, or even if we do

that we are thrust into the moil of not working again

usually we are unprepared

one versus many

many versus one

if the many don’t see you

then you escape unharmed

“ it is what it is ”

they are  what they are

a drop of being starts the whole process

audio

boarding school is a form of death

audio

so, a research round up

oral contraceptives  shrink  the hypothalamus

“ our metabolism and biological clock are optimized for eating in the morning and  for fasting  during the evening and night, when we are supposed to be asleep ”

being emperor you get the opportunity to make more mistakes than most

i made more mistakes than most emperors

 what is loneliness ?

a feeling

just passing

god

is

always

there

 what is loneliness ?

a feeling

just passing

infinity

is

always

there

translator’s fitment

a systemic disease with outbreaks when they come across something completely beyond their understanding

truth these days

means

i’m right and you’re wrong

truth these days means

i’m right and you’re wrong

its difficult to say  “ be open ”  because in general though the world is far too closed, openess requires discrimination to be safe and actually is not safe anyway

you can’t disrupt some-one travelling in the wrong direction

the return journey is too much for them

you think you can beat life

no-one can beat life

even language fades

three peers  talking

i don’t know why i find  the suicide  of virginia woolf so disturbing, is it all that writing effort to be terminated so abruptly ?

or its sheer depressive deliberateness ?

psychiatric medications are notorious for subtle side effects with long term use

what’s killing the tasmanian eagles here is because they are so big, when they land on power lines they can short them out

happened just down the road once, two of them, that’s about .25% of the population

a relative donated a large sum to the new zealand forest and bird society and got a full page write-up with photo in their magazine

i donated $30 to wikipedia and got a form thank-you email

such is life

there was actually a  snowball earth  where the oceans  froze over

religion now is nothing compared to what it was in the middle ages

even soviet level social control wasn’t a patch on religion because everybody believed the religion ,  but nobody believed the soviet nonsense

when you look at religion now, you are just looking at the smoking wreck of some grand human marvel

how effable is god ?

to say or have an idea of god or no god is effable ?

religion therefore can’t be quite bunk

eihei dogen spent most of his life reading and writing, this  “ non reading ”  “ grunt ”  bias of zen has more to do with making unthinking soldiers, hence zen’s involvement with samurai culture and later the nationalism of the meiji era, the russo-japanese war and WW2

the interplay between buddhism and western philosophy started with greek ideas travelling along the silk road and really buddhism is nothing more than rather hackneyed philosophical ideas incomprehensibly strung together

buddhism was reintroduced so early  (mid eighteenth century)  back into western culture that japanese zen was influenced by this during the meiji era

to put this in perspective jane austen was influenced by buddhist thinking !

obviously modern psychology was very influenced by the buddhist ideas of jung and freud

for some reason buddhism and zen were thought to be something new to the west in the late 20th century, but they’re not, there have been periods of strong interplay, like with the ancient greeks and the conquests of alexander and after, then the mid and late eighteenth century

religions follow a differentiation paradigm based on an ineffable or effable god or buddha nature or whatever, christianity is  effable  and actually islam is a supposedly  ineffable  form of christianity

buddhism and zen are  ineffable  only the practical implementation is very  effable  since there’s no point to supporting priests if its all too  ineffable  and in fact this is what you are trying to do brad  (ed. warner) ,  as an author your bias is to ineffability,  but as a lineage holder you have to make it  effable  and i don't think the tension is working, historically the only way this has ever worked  (mary baker eddy and ron hubbard)  is for you to make an exclusive sect which sensibly you won’t do

sects require censorship to be maintained and that you allow this post of mine is tautologically the destruction of any attempts to form a cult

postscript   :    i think you can argue that eiei dogen erred on the side of  effability  and soto is a cult

jason’s artwork   bright dogs

oliver sacks didn’t come from nowhere as a writer, he had the huge benefit of being  a friend  of w.h. auden

cystic fibrosis used to be a death sentence, having always been in robust health it was an eye opener to me to consider living life with the overhang  of an early death

is there a saying

don’t speak to the norwegians of the beauty of norway ?

pity the strange

pity the familiar

pity

the world must be somewhat malleable in our own image

or life won’t work

the crossword puzzle of being

heidegger’s hash

the jejune clues

the meaningless answers

the crossword puzzle of being

heidegger’s hash

the jejune clues

the clichéd answers

the crossword puzzle of being

heidegger’s hash

the jejune clues

the answers don’t inspire

which way to go ?

does it take cerebral palsy to pull one out of normality and think about life ?

the constant dysfunctional dissonance ?

or does the injury spring a source from a hidden fountain ?

so few of the injured are talented, but none of the uninjured have any talent at all

“ keep still, you can take it 

 stabilise  yourself ”

my  comment

dreams of stability

the normative paradigm

she washes her feet in the sea

and the sea is grateful

the web

the textural realm

unless you are skilled in self-correction

you will be

led

deeper

into

insanity

in the queue for death

rather than take our rightful place

we jump

backwards

i was thinking i’m bitter

but how can life, no matter what, be anything

but

 bitter ?

the dealer stacks the deck and

you

have

no right

of

redress

i’m a bit short, but i look normal

i even behave normal and at times sound normal

what if i wasn’t normal ?

how long would i last ?

nothing comes of anything i do

even

anything

the uyghurs

a proud people of the steppes, sky and horses

where are they now ?

in a clinical mausoleum

run by the deranged in the name of han supremacy

our lives are not crossing

your life is not crossing mine

we can relax

the poetic world is not strictly factual

hilter’s de facto was part jewish and he loved a young half-jewish girl

stalin’s executioners were permitted the bourgeois comfort of masseuses to manage the RSI on their trigger fingers

stalin himself went to confession

genghis khan’s wife knitted him warm jerseys for his campaigns

mother teresa didn’t believe in god

elizabeth the first was a polymath

shakespeare never wrote those plays

jesus, muhammad and buddha are a triumvirate in bad soap operas

moses is a rip-off of dionysis

noah’s ark was a supersized coracle

one of the greatest modern poets was a palsied cripple who couldn’t really speak

sylvia plath wrote prose so well she would have been much better to take it, rather than poetry, up as a career

if japan and germany had worked together and resourced a joint atomic bomb project adequately, they could have had one before the allies

between the war and stalin, russia killed so many of its best people, it genetically selected for cretinism

islam is a christian sect

the germans at the time of facing off the romans across the rhine had a panoply of greek gods they worshipped

voltaire invented western buddhism

rousseau killed his children

wolfgang goethe himself condemned margareta to death

bob dylan being awarded the nobel prize for literature crashed the betting racket behind the award

pope benedict the xvi was a raging queen

the empress alexandera and her grand duchess daughters wore diamond bullet proof underwear to their execution which made for a particularly slow and bloody business

this  ant war  seems like science fiction, but its science fiction that has copied from the ant world

if you scratch originality in writing, plagiarism is revealed, nothing is more scarce than the solipsist genuine

i quite like this OP ,  its a very good illustration of what schizophrenia is

my reply to him

you still have a problem with hubricity and misinterpretation, which actually is in the area of schizophrenia rather than depression

we’re all the same, we can’t change basic patterns in ourselves but we can be more cautious, do research and discuss things more before forming opinions

one thing most current research on depression agrees on is the necessity of exercise

zen like all religions

is bad soap opera

entertainment for the idiot insane

read history and politics looks crazy

read poetry and life looks crazy

read the ancients and time looks crazy

read history and politics looks insane

read poetry and life looks insane

read the ancients and time looks insane

the  that  of zen is a fiction or misperception

some chains the dumb use to shackle themselves


as i get older, i have a different relation to time

an hour is no longer wide

but walks past at a leisurely pace

seconds are too minute for me and as for a minute

what is that ?

when you come to get the glasses made, the frame should have a bridge distance which gets the eyes as central to the lens as is reasonable

black and white

white and black

there is nothing that is not all good

or

all

bad

if the question is a fiction, then any answers are going to be idiocy

high blood pressure is associated with high IOP and in general is not good for the eye or brain

what you see on waking up is hypnagogic and if it means anything, what it is, nobody knows

unreal worlds abound

real worlds only seem to come in one version

pain and its interludes

the orange sliver of a tenth crescent moon

seen through distant gums

speaks more to me of life

than any amount of writing


the orange sliver of a tenth crescent moon

seen through distant gums

speaks more to me of life

than any writing

elizabeth the first  hit the ground running, becoming queen at age twenty-five, it was some feat to have survived to that point and she went on to become a brutal and effective monarch, skilled enough to die at the late age of 69, possibly of lead poisoning from her make-up

the question is how was she able to steer with such a skillful hand, one that really required several lifetimes to have been lived

well  she read tacitus  and so lived through the lessons of a particularly murderous period of rome’s political history

when trust goes

it goes forever

despite r|zen’s claims not to be religious/ a religion, they are

they have the salient characteristics, they work from some nonsense of a script  (the ch’an texts) ,  pretend that they have some secret understanding of them which always has to be the case since how otherwise would such bad fake carnivalism mean anything and they missionize from that which at the same time creates some fragmentary glimmer of self esteem for these poor depressed retards

they also censor which is the hallmark of anti-dialogism, i don’t know whether you can call the incoherent babbling heteroglossia or not, probably not as it has no range outside insanity

why cannot  “ religious ”  people talk in plain english and sensibly rather than from whatever compendium of  “ mentally ill ”  bullshit

well perhaps its good for hiding ignorance and stupidity  (at least to themselves) ?

some optometrists give much better prescriptions than others

there’s public voynich

and

one’s own personal voynich

all the might of the educational establishment cannot defeat quality literature’s ability to speak to those willing to listen

theology  =  philosophy + stupidity + denial ,  a nice sum indeed

philosophy, a road that doesn’t go anywhere

so full of pretensions it goes somewhere

of course wittgenstein can say this and is lauded

but the way i put it earns the fools ire

non existance is a possibility of existance

therefore god neither exists or doesn’t

this is the small sum of the great endeavor of theology

ancient instruments, a modern tune  —  guzheng and drum

sun quan the emperor

i was listening to the  mesmeric  margaret attwood who made a point that i had never considered and that’s the role of god as a political figurehead, which is in fact the primary role

“ what do you think ? ”

i don’t know, i haven’t thought

nothing goes nowhere

somewhere goes to anywhere

somehow goes to anyhow

the moon goes to the sea

and the sea goes to cheese

if you think there’s any sense to this

you’d be wrong

there’s always a puzzle

 what is the puzzle ?

i can’t grasp it

there’s always a puzzle

 what is the puzzle ?

i can’t quite grasp it

when someone is, in the last analysis  –  irrational  –  they are mad

when someone is, in the ultimate analysis  –  irrational  –  they are mad

she has an intelligent viewpoint, but with these outright  psychotic storylines ,  you wonder how such a thing could be and actually there’s an answer, she’s a pot head and who knows what else

you don’t have to look for the insane on the web, open a door and they jump right into your lap

drugs are not cognitive,  “ spirtual insight ”  has to be cognitive

dogen zennists  “ just sit ” ,  but their founder, eihei dogen did nothing but write and think, they just don’t get it

women like themselves and their emotionality

they may dislike themselves

but they never question their emotionality

philosophy and religion don’t mix

the religious never lose the chance to  “ indoctrinate ”  with their  “ schizophrenic rambles ”

the religious never lose the chance to indoctrinate with their schizophrenic rambles

pontius pilate got in early

“ what is truth ”

jesus thought he had the answer

i think actually it was the combination of stalin and beria that made their rule so lethal, without their combined and mutually compensatory competence the regime would have fallen apart

bad luck for russia of course

when stalin started to threaten beria and the politburo, they were forced to have him killed

teal swan makes an interesting point about women being  fearful  and i think the opposite also holds, men are not fearful enough

of course there is plenty of trouble with non-physcial bad situations creeping up on us unnoticed, violence has many colours

the stealthy calm of death

aferwards feeling surprised

a bad migraine

the stealthy calm of death

aferwards  —  feeling surprised

a bad migraine

the stealthy calm of death

aferwards, feeling surprised

a bad migraine

one thing after another falls into place

slowly

over the years

if i could say something

it would already be said

but since its not

i say

nothing

i know a lot

but somethings i really know and the rest is a bit of a mess

“ live in the moment ”

i don’t want to live in the moment, the whole span before and after is where i want to live

and perhaps we do

if you look at the great writers they always fill the three bakhtin categories of dialogism,   heteroglossia   and carnivalism

non writers and pretentious idiots don’t fill any of the three

inferior writers are always hitting the ceiling of their lack of fulfilment of that holy  “ trinity ”

its interesting that stalinism  “ went ”  for bakhtin and he was lucky to avoid death in a gulag camp

the infinite nature of life itself is the working of god

the infinite nature of life itself is the working

how irish jokes get made is they start off  as true stories

fractals, like string theory is something not 100% coninuous with nature

self similarity has a logical flaw

tell me

mathematical structures are descriptive, not prescriptive of how nature works

i went for a walk along a bit of coast i haven’t visited for a while with some rather nice old gardens, a fine but very windy day and thinking about a few things and the following poem came to me

everything is changed

i’ve changed

you’ve changed

the trees change

the leaves change

the sea changes

the rocks don’t change

i couldn’t remember whether the second and third line were reversed or not so here it is

everything is changed

you’ve changed

i’ve changed

the trees change

the leaves change

the sea changes

the rocks don’t change

the magnet of damaged men is too much for her

and she has a child

the magnet of damaged men is too much for her

and she has

a baby

the magnet of damaged men is too much for her

and she writes about

a baby

“   shaking the head  to get rid of water in the ears could cause brain damage ”

i notice that possums have a lot of muscle around their skull, this must be to cushion the impact to the brain in falls


space is free on the  “ interweb ”  so i’ll do this in full

the poem by  antarah ibn shaddad

دَع ما مَضى لَكَ في الزَمانِ الأَوَّلِ

وَعَلى الحَقيقَةِ إِن عَزَمتَ فَعَوِّلِ

إِن كُنتَ أَنتَ قَطَعتَ بَرّاً مُقفَر

وَسَلَكتَهُ تَحتَ الدُجى في جَحفَلِ

فَأَنا سَرَيتُ مَعَ الثُرَيّا مُفرَد

لا مُؤنِسٌ لي غَيرَ حَدِّ المُنصُلِ

وَالبَدرُ مِن فَوقِ السَحابِ يَسوقُهُ

فَيَسيرُ سَيرَ الراكِبِ المُستَعجِلِ

وَالنَسرُ نَحوَ الغَربِ يَرمي نَفسَهُ

فَيَكادُ يَعثُرُ بِالسِماكِ الأَعزَلِ

وَالغولُ بَينَ يَدَيَّ يَخفى تارَةً

وَيَعودُ يَظهَرُ مِثلَ ضَوءِ المَشعَلِ

بِنَواظِرٍ زُرقٍ وَوَجهٍ أَسوَدٍ

وَأَظافِرٍ يُشبِهنَ حَدَّ المِنجَلِ

وَالجِنُّ تَفرَقُ حَولَ غاباتِ الفَل

بِهَماهِمٍ وَدَمادِمٍ لَم تَغفَلِ

وَإِذا رَأَت سَيفي تَضِجُّ مَخافَةً

كَضَجيجِ نوقِ الحَيِّ حَولَ المَنزِلِ

تِلكَ اللَيالي لَو يَمُرُّ حَديثُه

بِوَليدِ قَومٍ شابَ قَبلَ المَحمِلِ

فَاكفُف وَدَع عَنكَ الإِطالَةَ وَاِقتَصِر

وَإِذا اِستَطَعتَ اليَومَ شَيئاً فَاِفعَلِ

recitation

my  reworking

i am a solitary traveller

everything falling behind me

the clouds crossing the moon

like a rider in haste

an eagle snatches a fish

in its claws

like a torch this shines to me

life is short

make the most of it

now to do the rework i took another translation and cross referenced with a google translation

let what went on for you in the first time

in fact, if you intend to wail

if you cut off desolate land

i threw him under the rooster in a flock

i walked with the chandelier alone

i have no sociable other than the threshold of the root

and the full moon over the clouds market it

he shall walk the rush of the rider

and the eagle toward the west throws himself

he almost stumbles with unarmed fish

and the ogre between my hands is hidden sometimes

and it reappears like a torch light

with blue eyes and a black face

and nails are similar to the edge of the sickle

and the heaven dispersed around the forests of the elephant

with them and their blood did not lose sight of

and if she sees my sword, she is afraid

as of the noise of the neighborhood camels around the house

those nights if his conversation passes

a young folk was born before the lamb

so stop and let the lengthening and confined to you

and if you can do something today, do it

the other translation by user/arabicpoetrytl, supposedly the poem was written as a challenge to a duel by antarrah in response to an insulting poem by turfah

let go of what had come to you in ages past

and to truth, if you set forth then keep true

if you had traversed a path of strife

and walked it under the oppression of the night in a legion

then i had traversed the pleiades alone

no companion to me, but the point of my sword

and the clouds above, dragged by the moon

moving with the pace of a rider in haste

and the eagle, to the west, plunges itself

almost stumbling upon hapless fish

and the ghoul between my hands vanishes an instance

and returns to burst forth like the blaze of a torch

with blue eyes and a black face

and nails alike the edge of a scythe

and the jinn scatter about forests of emptiness

thundering, crimson red, unresting

and were they to see my sword they clamor in fright

like the clamor of cattle around a house

these are night which, if their tales are told

of the son of a people, oldened before conception

enough of you, cease the delay and cut short

and if its in your ability to do something today, then do it

“ eight count ”  by charles bukowski

from my bed i watch three birds on a telephone wire

one flies off. then another

one is left, then it too is gone

my typewriter is tombstone still

and i am reduced to bird watching

just thought i’d let you know, fucker

my  reply

the swallows flood into my garage

well actually only the usual pairs

i try to chase them out

but they keep returning

i pull down the garage door

all these talentless idiots on the web making videos of charles bukowki’s poems that don’t relate to the meaning of the poem at all

express      expression      de-pression

what is there to say ?  in the saying

saying

 say-ing  ?

the power of ridicule and irony is their vestment in absurdity

the difficulties of existance  are only matched by the beauty of non-existance

however

there is no straight road

between them

the difficulty of existance  is only matched by the beauty of non-existance

however

there is no straight road

between them

you completely undercut the existence of any monk or nun if you challenge the existence of buddha or jesus

their model of life is exposed as absurd  —  bad fiction or an unreal soap opera

one skill that definitely grows and takes a long time and a lot of experience to develop is that of self-editing and layout

sandro botticelli and andrew wyeth, egg tempera has its advantages, clearer, not as muddy as oils

weird, knowing they are egg tempera affects how you see the paintings

artists and writers who produce a lot of work, enter the statistical realm

that is, a small proportion of what is produced is going to be very good or much better than the rest

the odd thing is that from the producers point of view its hard to tell until the work is produced, that in some way it is just the same as the rest to them

teal swan claims to not be a cult leader but i think she actually is, she’s too restrictive on her own material and anti-dialogical though not to an extreme degree

she claims to be  “ open ”  but the reality is schizophrenia and autism, however she is intelligent and makes interesting points

lol, well not quite  the usual guru

the only two  playing  without sheet music are the two girls

they must be tapping the interior logic of bach in a way the others are unable to

dry eye is usually an inflammatory condition or too much screen time

learning to read a prescription is one of the best investments of time a person needing an optical correction can make

religions today are reinventions of their medieval progenitors, even or rather especially, islam

there is no understanding of this


everything goes in a straight line

until it stops

as it must

its funny how things go in a straight line

but straight lines end

because they have to

its interesting with chaucer and boccaccio, they were before syphilis, a more liberal sexual environment

its mad not to be depressed about the world

only here for a few blinks

it passes

all only to go around again

its mad not to be depressed about the world

only here for a few blinks

it passes

only to go around again

its mad not to be depressed about the world

only here for a few blinks

it passes

only to go around all again

what is what about ?

one rabbit hole

leading

into

another

what is what about ?

one rabbit hole leading into another

i am developing cataracts and both the surgeons i saw where pushing me to have toric iols put in to correct the astigmatism in one eye

i have reservations about this as torics, to be effective, require the eye and particularly the posterior and anterior cornea to be stable

to be fair to them they said i didn’t actually need the operation yet, but was  “ eligible ”

however in a mere eight months since my last prescription the eye they wanted to operate on has had a massive drop of .75 diopters of astigamtism, i can’t say 100% its not the lens but since its in the same axis it seems fair to infer most of the change to the cornea

if i had had the op, i would now be about .6 AGR with the prospect of more astigmatism to come

i can’t see how you expect an aging eye to have a stable cornea, especially in the last years

its very hard to go against the opinion of experienced and well meaning people, but fortunately there’s a huge amount of high quality opthamological research on the net and reading this over many months gave me the edge over them

“ The against-the-rule  shift   (AGR)  was faster for total corneal astigmatism than for anterior corneal astigmatism  (ed. ie posterior corneal astigmatism was changing faster)  and it occurred earlier in men than in women ”

pink against the green backlit leaves of an iris

closer, one plant has rich brown orange flowers

another an orangey yellow

i’m really feeling the limits of my colour vocabulary

i have always noticed that supplement taking is never stable, our brains want to drop them unbeknownst to ourselves

i had pretty much dropped selenomethionine and vitamin A for the last six months to a year, but i do better with them

selenomethionine covers a number of bases, apotheosis, dry eyes and mouth and as a heavy metal sequestrant

vitamin A makes me feel better, is apothetic and anti-viral and is actually needed to  “ balance up ”  vitamin D if you are taking it, however it has a downside of feeling migrainey sometimes which is why i stopped taking it

just a note, parts of the usa are unsually replete with selenium in the soil, so selenium may not be needed and if you supplement, you may even be getting too much

i quite like eyal massad’s paintings, he has a really good sense of colour and contrast

really what is the difference  between this  and some abstract painting that sells for millions because of the artist’s name ?

well eyal’s will be the better painting

some times i don’t get a poem for days ,  one looks in the cupboard, nothing there and the parlour looks bare

then when one least expects it, a poem turns up and oddly, or perhaps not so oddly  it is traumatic ,  a good poem is traumatic in itself

brad warner imo is one of the best zen teachers around, he has an uncertainty about himself and the world that is much more  “ zen ”  than the usual hubric idiocy they spout

he comes across as a person, not some clichéd stuffed kesa

dealing with people always hurts, just make the best of it

we were taught french at primary school, i usually came last in the class, but one year there the teacher complimented me at the end of year assessment saying that she thought i had tried that year

in hindsight, i think i was preserving my facility in english

life has all sorts of undercurrents we only partially perceive

understanding goes on forever

what doesn’t go on

forever

understanding goes on forever

what doesn’t go on forever ?

the artist has hands and legs  and bullshit  for a brain

interestingly ambiguous, there is actually some sense to some of   im14andthisisdeep

some marketing genius at mitsubishi must have read william wordsworth’s poem   “ the world is too much with us ”

if you are on r|zen, you are a nutcase arguing with other nutcases