this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

i don’t believe in god or zen masters, if they exist, they are idiots

one day the penny will never drop

an interesting  variation  on a well known twelfth night scene

charles bukowski  doesn’t like  hilda doolittle, but i do

she has something of the aesthetic lyrical, strange territory to charles of course

sheltered garden

honestly buddhism in the west is just episcopalianism/ anglicanism/ catholicism revisited

what would non-buddhist zen be ?

basically its a recovery of the true mystical base from all the flawed nonsense of today

its core is the development of the mystical understanding, but in practice its main activity will be holding retreats and classes of preparation for retreats

the retreats themselves would be something along the lines of  “ the  springwater  style ”  but not necessarily vegetarian

probably the next step would be developing a curriculum for the classes which would be writing, reading and writing poetry, prose, blogs and dairies, literature, mystical literature, actual meditation, sitting on cushions or chairs, contemplative walks, understanding the pitfalls and benefits of contemplative work, practical sitting experience, public speaking, science, health and getting message boards and streaming to work positively for you

the sfzc motto

when you are sleeping with the wife of your biggest donor, don’t let her leave her shoes outside your cabin at night

you could save the world

but its a waste of time

things are not fine as they are

 but what can you do about it ?

let the pretentious clappers

breed their nonsense

streaming is probably like r|zen, continual trauma because of the people it attracts

i have seen so many american women on r|askdocs with severe health problems from multiple psychiatric medications its obvious its yet another modern disaster area

its also obvious the mental health profession doesn’t give a shit and the women have been turning a blind eye until they no longer can

getting older is an exercise in terror

what will fail next ?

when you nail him down, he just gets up and walks away then you realise you are not dealing with a sane person

hans asperger sent quite high functioning children  to their deaths

“ Another adolescent girl, Margarete Schaffer, did not  ‘ swing ’  with the group.  He found her superficial, insincere, unable to take part in games and, again, probably oversexed.  She stole soap from the other girls.  Elfriede Grohmann was diagnosed, essentially, as ‘ ineducable ’.  Asperger sent them to Spiegelgrund.  Elfriede knew she was being sent to her death.  ‘ I’ll tell you only one thing ’ ,  she wrote to her uncle ,   ‘ we will not see each other again ’ ”

my question on r|optometry

is exchanging IOL’s after say two decades a straight forward or problematic operation ?

is age significant ?


the longer the IOL is in the capsular bag, the more scar tissue and adhesion develops, making the removal of the iol more difficult

it is a complicated process that involves first removing the iol from the capsular bag, then moving the IOL into the anterior chamber of the eye, cutting it into pieces and pulling the individual pieces out

much more is involved with removing and replacing an IOL than the original cataract surgery

this increases the risk of prolonged inflammation after the surgery  (uveitis and even cystoid macular edema)

if one has history of YAG laser capsulotomy after the original cataract surgery, exchanging an IOL is even more difficult

that being said, an IOL exchange can be done with success  —  especially if the benefits of doing so are worth the risk

why do you want to exchange an IOL ?

is it due to incorrect lens power or an issue with a multifocal implant ?

my reply

thanx for the reply

i’m soon to have what will be my first cataract operation and reading about degradation of the acrysof lens optical properties in the long term, it seemed better to have material like clareon which glistened less even though its only monocular and has no toric versions

from what you say it seems a long lasting lens that won’t need to be replaced because of the loss of optical quality is important

you’re asking a pirate to give up his plunder, its not going to happen is it ?

its hard to understate how toxic education is

you get taught what you don’t want to know and impedes real understanding by people who have no clues

paid for by wasting the best years of your life

the mumonkan is bedtime stories for half-wits

i was thinking there was sense where there was none

honestly, isn't what you have written nonsense ?

ewk, its sorta like a disease with you, you can say something, but that doesn’t make it true but you seem to think and act like it does

its just reddit, why not use your  “ interchanges ”  to sort things out, not attempt to overwrite whatever else there is with your version of things

the moment you stop posting here its all gone, including  “ your ”  wiki

i get the feeling that if you tried to bend you would break which is not a good way to be

ewk’s  “ take down ”  spam even though incorrect and distorted is effective by virtue of repetition

i’ve learnt not to read it, but probably most on r|zen do

he has a basic  “ propaganda ”  technique the mods refuse to rein him in on and its just fucks up the subreddit along with the mods deleting  “ high quality ”  OP’s because they are high quality

“ come on, you have to know that  ‘ enlightenment ’  is a conceptual dualistic trap at this point ”

honestly i used to think that, but objectively i am enlightened super frame not withstanding

without the enlightenment experience, you will just go on as you do caught in the slough or quicksand of stymied ignorance

“ have you thrown away the concept of enlightenment yet, or are you still seeking ? ”

actually i wish i could as an illusion but since in fact i am enlightened, then i can’t

of course i could throw myself away as an illusion, but that’s very strange territory, even for one who is enlightened

“ there are those that are born dumb, those that achieve dumbness and those who have dumbness thrust upon them ”

the insane







you’re failed marksman claiming to hit the bull when you miss the target

you can’t understand the enlightened viewpoint because you are not enlightened

why be the usual endless net fake ?

failed marksmen claiming to hit the bull when they miss the target

zen or the fallacy of a super frame

a landscape of non illusion that we can navigate in, become familiar with and have a competence in

then the landscape is us and it all melts in recursion and what we thought we had, we don’t

reality is  non euclidean  but we are born to think of it as euclidean

that’s the problem

the vulnerability of the failing physicality of older age

the vulnerability of getting older

the vulnerability of old age

i figure brenton tarrant who massacred fifty people in two mosques in dunedin, new zealand lived at 92 somerville street which is only 340 meters from 65 every street where david bain murdered his parents and siblings

i’ve got to say actors and actresses seem pretty empty headed, they are not thinkers, it must be part of the skill

you can see why  “ marrying within the profession ”  usually ends in divorce

you haven’t taken any notice of what i said, the net is full of schizophrenics like you, puffed up with bullshit and who get snarky when challenged as if what we say is significant beyond the posts we make

i listened to the lyrics of  this song  for the first time, i have heard them before but they never  “ registered ”

“ you change your mind like a girl changes clothes

you’re up and you’re down ”

wow, that’s pretty much how i think

jason is thinking of stepping out on the guru route, given there is really nothing around that is satisfactory at all

classes might be a good idea, basically you are preparing people to go on retreat

the main problem with people going on retreat is they have no decent reading under their belts and all they do is churn the usual soap operas whereas they need decent understanding like emily dickinson, bukowski, etc etc to progress and not get turned sightly mad which is the usual result

you could charge on a per head basis

so a bit of theory, some discussion and a  (short?)  period of silent sitting

people who don’t get this can have bad experiences on actual retreat

the nearest thing to what you would be doing is toni packer and springwater, except that she wasn’t literary or familiar with religious literature across the ages, rather she was very soto, perhaps too much imo as self reflection has its limitations

it would be similar to what brad warner does too, that’s it, there’s nothing else out there

just my ideas, you will have your own opinions

interestingly mary baker eddy of christian science fame started out by giving classes

most people will not even be able to handle some-one like charles bukowski or henry darger, you have to sorta educate them about handling them, the level you will talking to is very low, that’s where the money is, otherwise you have nothing to offer

its actually quite hard to put into words what you are offering

the end point of a course might be say a one day retreat so the course would be about preparing to do a retreat so effectively the course is  “ retreat preparation ”

you don’t want any religious affiliation because that excludes people who don’t identify with the affiliation and actually i think zen has gotta sorta a bad reputation now with all the sex scandals and poor quality teachers

even  “ non-denominational ”  is not quite right as that implies chrisitianity

the problem with the word  “ zen ”  is every schizophrenic idiot between here and the black stump uses it to describe what they do

if you are successful and build up  “ karma ”  for  “ zen ”  then the arseholes will just crowd in taking the reputation you give for their own purposes

i suppose  “ non-buddhist zen ”  does say something

it does keep you clear of the zen in new york which is quite buddhist

two becomes one, it is done

 one becomes two what do i do ?

two becomes one, it is done

 one becomes two what do we do ?

i think that if we always felt the true severity of life, nothing would happen

we would be paralysed

i think that if we always felt the true severity of life, nothing would happen

we would just sit there paralysed

the films that had the biggest hooks into me were  ‘ the parent trap ’  and  ‘ twelfth night ’  and i think its because they are about separate identities going into one

plus an italian ? art film i can hardly remember

actually i think i first saw  ‘ twelfth night ’  as a play at secondary school, the parent trap as a film at primary school, (both were boarding)

a vulnerable injured child who survived

like charles bukowski i should think its enough, but its not and neither was it for him

maybe i have always taken the view it was enough

imo eihei dogen is not that buddhist or moralistic when you look at him, i think brad warner is trying to reverse engineer more buddhism and morality into dogen than is actually there

you can step through infinity back and forth and then you blink and your life is gone

is the trouble with love that there is nothing beyond ?

my neighbour who is not well was talking to me about her younger days as a teenager and just taking off for days by herself on her horse through the outback

what is objective reality ?

i think its just some cultural idea of a superframe in which we all exist

its a believable illusion, but ultimately,  not true

the huge advantage of the web and self publishing is you can publish what you like and don’t have to deal with the idiocy of editors or indeed the public

you don’t have to write to please your audience, you can write for yourself, yet still have an audience which is a fundamental shift in the publishing paradigm

charles bukowski and his taste for  ultra-violent  women, either towards him or themselves

its one of his better stories

a real african scene, vultures  scavanging  a hippo carcass

pot stunts people’s emotional development

adolescent smoking is crippling

pot interferes with people’s emotional development

you don’t know what the zen ancients really said, some of them may be fictitious, there’s no solid ground there

in the end it doesn’t matter, that’s the point about the transmission outside the scriptures and having had that, why i am the patriarch

i understand it all

you may not agree of course, but that simply makes you wrong

zen masters are like stupid hacks, patriarchs are the ones that rule

in terms of mysticism i don’t require the world to be intelligible which religion and atheism do

in fact i say the perspective trying to create intelligiblity is flawed, and hopeless

there’s no such thing as  “ students ”  in terms of mysticism

its all self taught

what an organisation used to offer that is no longer necessary because of the internet was publicity, missionary and publishing support

as far as i can see religious or  “ spiritual ”  organisations are not really getting ahead in the way they used to

christian science is a good example of the old paradigm done successfully

benito massaro might be the most successful example of a neo advaita/new age guru organisation, but its not that large and he has  his problems

what you don’t see is zen has become plagued with very poor quality teachers and coupled with the faux transmission system its been relegated to a backwater and most of the  “ action ”  is neo-advaita and independents now

i think you are living in the past brad warner

there’s no such thing as an asexual human, only a lack of self-reflection could lead one to that conclusion

child stars  have an amazingly fatal record

i wonder why

 pushed into the adult world too early ?

sesshin is a japanese word and just means an intensive seven day retreat under the guidance of a zen teacher

its really the core activity of zen and ch’an, however i don’t like the indoctrination aspect and much prefer retreats to be non-doctrinal

eg  the  springwater center

retreats make you impressionable and you have to be very wary of picking up the usual bullshit

people imagine a translation to be a transparency through which the original is seen

it is however a re-creation by the translator bearing more relation to the translator’s own thoughts and influences than the original author

so a translation, rather than being a transparency is an opaque rendering

the state of a quantum computer  was returned  a fraction of a second into the past

“ we have artificially created a state that evolves in a direction opposite to that of the thermodynamic arrow of time ”

“ while in nature the complex conjugation needed for time reversal is exponentially improbable, one can design a quantum algorithm that includes complex conjugation and thus  reverses  a given quantum state ”

i think this is the visionary process, reversing a pool or billard break, how its done or even happens i do not know

i haven’t had anything significant happen recently, maybe i am getting too old ?

the mods of r|zen use ewk as an attack dog to keep the forum the way they want it, i have seen this endlessly, the people least suited to be mods creep onto the mod list to take a message board over so it better reflects their views

what can you do about it

 leave ?

i have

people act like the tide is never going to come in and wash their sandcastles away

religion is just differing semantic pragmatic constructs about what is not amenable to semantic-pragmatism

i don’t think anyone can claim to have any sort of idea of what zen is without doing a sesshin

the moderators bias the r|zen forum in favour of a certain type of clichéd reading  “ zen ”  which i think is almost inevitable unless one has retreat experience

the forum is missing the principal dimension and i guess always had, but the numbers of the millions who ramble vacantly have to be made up somewhere so r|zen is sure doing its contribution towards that

“ don’t interrupt your enemies when they are making a mistake ”

they all  hate  each other

its just a constant meele

i love it !








you always understood what the problem was, why does it take years to fully understand what you already knew ?

you always understood what the problem was, why does it take years to understand what you already knew ?

you always understood what the issue was, why does it take years to understand what you already knew ?

the basic flaw of translation is the assumption of a semantic landscape outside the language

this is not the case

a brief illusion of continuity

not more can really be said

you feel the loss when you keep looking for them to come back, but they don’t

death or otherwise

you know its a loss when you keep looking for them to come back, but they don’t

death or otherwise

daenery’s loss of a dragon son is  more real  to me than prince andrie’s death in  “ war and peace ”

you have to take things as you find them

when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will




more clearly

when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will





when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will




there’s so much that needs finishing yet we rarely have the opportunity to do that

when we finish something we can move forward from that, otherwise we are doomed to repeat the usual circles of life

“ i have not slept for three hundred years ” ,  the ghost said sadly, and virginia’s beautiful blue eyes opened in wonder   “ for three hundred years i have not slept, and i am so tired ”

virginia grew quite grave, and her little lips trembled like rose-leaves.  she came towards him, and kneeling down at his side, looked up into his old withered face

“ poor, poor ghost ”  she murmured;  “ have you no place where you can sleep ? ”

“ far away beyond the pine-woods ”  he answered, in a low, dreamy voice ,  there is a little garden

there the grass grows long and deep, there are the great white stars of the hemlock flower, there the nightingale sings all night long

all night long he sings, and the cold crystal moon looks down, and the yew-tree spreads out its giant arms over the sleepers ”

virginia’s eyes grew dim with tears, and she hid her face in her hands

“ you mean the garden of death, ”  she whispered

“ yes, death.  death must be so beautiful.  to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence.  to have no yesterday, and no tomorrow.  to forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.  you can help me.  you can open for me the portals of death’s house, for love is always with you, and love is stronger than death is ”

oscar wilde at his most lyric   and sentimental 

death in life is the  “ spiritual path ” ,  you don’t get the option to disappear permanently

interestingly they kept these lines in  this film version


oscars wilde’s self caused destruction in his last years is always disturbing, possibly explained by a degree of syphilis induced dementia, but he was at the height of his powers

the great flaw of  “ spirituality ”  and  “ teachers ”  is people volunteering their lives away for nonsense

i can’t imagine a worse sin

the  “ spiritual world ”  is more crazy than sane, be careful

the  “ spiritual world ”  is more crazy than sane

 is this the only world there is ?


there are other worlds

travel to find out

you can look at something and things won’t quite click into place, but when you look six months to years later they do

you can look at something and things won’t quite click into place, but when you look six months to a year later they do

real life  dopplegängers

the personalities and facial expressions are different though

scotty kilmer has half  a billion  views, if that doesn’t speak the power of youtube what does ?

you think the car manufacturers would be falling over themselves for space on his channel but their marketing departments are too stupid, a fact that has always been well attested to

contemplation and understanding are not different, from contemplation springs understanding and from understanding arises contemplation

contemplation and understanding are not different, from contemplation springs understanding and from understanding springs contemplation

imogen stubbs  reading  elizabeth barrett browning’s  “ how do i love thee ”

the last line is a bit different

the gondwana chorale  singing  an arrangement of noel coward’s song  “ nina ”

people/depressives try to boost their self esteem by projecting an imaginary competence in say something like   “ zen ” ,   it never works which is why so many on r|zen are suicidal

if you actually understood what  “ mysticism ”  was all about ,  in the solipsist reality you don’t need self esteem since you are effectively  “ walking with god ”

but the morons prefer deadly pills to that sort of work

there is something very interesting to hang onto life for

for every 60 minutes of midday sleep, the 24-hour average systolic blood pressure  decreased  by 3mm Hg

oral health is  important  for cognitve function in older adults

“ this longitudinal study in an English ageing population has demonstrated that poor cognitive function at early stage was associated with poorer oral health and higher risk of tooth loss in later life

the gradient relationship suggests that an improvement in cognitive function could potentially improve oral health and reduce the risk of tooth loss in the ageing population ”

eating olive oil at least once a week was associated with  less  platelet activity in the blood

gut microbiota plays an important signaling role in the process that  stimulates  cold-induced thermogenesis

“ microbiota depletion impairs thermogenesis of brown adipose tissue and browning of white adipose tissue ”

“ vaccine efficacy might be lower when individuals are exposed to  high pathogen  doses, and when individuals vary in their susceptibility ”

a good graph of  diurnal  melatonin secretion

“ the decline  of melatonin levels was significantly greater after two hours  (9 to 11am)  of exposure to blue-enriched white light

exposure to the blue-enriched white light significantly improved subjective perception of alertness, mood, and visual comfort ”

fasting-mimicking diet cycles partially  reverse  IBD-related pathology compared to water-only fasting

“ a B12-deficient diet harms C. elegans’ health at a cellular level, reducing the worms’ ability to metabolize branched-chain amino acids (BCAA)

the research showed that the reduced ability to break down BCAAs led to a toxic buildup of partially metabolized BCAA byproducts that  damaged  mitochondrial health ” 

what i notice with monasteries, convents and buddhist  “ centers ”  is they are all too busy working to manage any  “ spiritual development ”

and actually they don’t have any real interest in it, offended even if something of that nature is discussed, putting their faith in theological absurdities and waste of time ceremonies

migraine and dry eyes  are associated  and taurine is helpful for both, i’m taking two grams every day or second day

“ The exact mechanism underlying the relationship between migraine headaches and dry eye disease is unclear

However, it is well established that underlying inflammatory processes play a significant role in the pathogenesis of both disorders

Prior studies have shown that migraine headaches can be associated with increases in the levels of inflammatory markers and cytokines, such as C-reactive protein and interleukin 10

Neurogenic inflammatory mediators are thought to trigger the extravasation of plasma and increase the hypersensitivity of neurons constituting the trigeminal ganglion, a phenomenon that plays a significant role in the development and progression of migraines

Similar to migraine headaches, prior studies have established that T-lymphocyte–mediated inflammation is one of the major mechanisms underlying the pathogenesis and progression of dry eye disease

Objective and clinical variables used to assess the presence and severity of dry eye disease are correlated with the presence of migraine headaches, as mentioned previously

Inflammatory changes in dry eye disease might trigger similar events in neurovascular tissue, leading to the development and propagation of migraine headaches, or vice versa

Furthermore, excessive dryness of the ocular surface can trigger reflex tearing via the trigeminal nerve, which could subsequently trigger auras and acute migraine attacks, given the role of the trigeminal ganglion in the pathophysiology of migraine headaches

leave old ideas behind and move into new ones

there’s always something to extract from tolsoy ,  in this case,   the finality  of death

i’m always for the dreams

it has a history

everything has a history

it has a history, everything has a history