this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed   !



you can fucking see it ,  the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness) ,  aging

you can fucking see it ,  aging ,  the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness)

you can fucking see it ,  the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness)

you can fucking see it, the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness), aging

you can fucking see it, aging, the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness)

you can fucking see it, the loss of phi  (ed.  from the global workspace theory of conciousness)

 Natalia Gonchorova - Stone Maiden Still Life (1908)

women put up with an awful lot of shit when you are fucking them ,  when you are  NOT  the most reasonable and thoughtful behavior places you in the discard pile !

women put up with an awful lot of shit when you are fucking them, when you are  NOT  the most reasonable and thoughtful behavior places you in the discard pile !

“ I think many people have comorbidity of aspergers and  ADHD ”

i wouldn't call them comorbid or even morbid  !

they are just categories that don't fit that well

“ I think many people have comorbidity of aspergers and  ADHD ”

i wouldn't call them comorbid or even morbid  !

i'm always  working  on about  4  or five different topics at any one time ,  just flip between the windows on the comp !

can have  120  windows or more open on chrome and still keep opening more !

there's real benefit in occasionally going back through the open tabs over say as long a period as you can sustain the open tabs for which in my case can be at least a month . .  sorta gives a depth perception . .

i'm always  working  on about  4  or five different topics at any one time, just flip between the windows on the comp !

can have  120  windows or more open on chrome and still keep opening more !

there's real benefit in occasionally going back through the open tabs over say as long a period as you can sustain the open tabs for which in my case can be at least a month . .  sorta gives a depth perception . .

i'm always  working  on about  4  or five different topics at any one time, just flip between the windows on the comp !

can have  120  windows or more open on chrome and still keep opening more !

“ all biological systems are multiscale systems, the research goes from the protein, to the cell, to the tissue ,  all the way to the human

you have to cover scales from one nanometer to one meter ”

it's all process ,  there's no end point  !

. .


o


(


)

it's all process ,  there's no end point !

. .


o


(


)

it's all process ,  there's no end point !

it's all process, there's no end point !

it's all process, there's no end point

a short cut for dealing with the voluminous works of a film director or writer is to research their lives rather than wade through every last item of their works  !

the short cut for philosophers to read others synopses of their works  !

a short cut for dealing with the voluminous works of a film director or writer is to research their lives rather than wade through every last item of their works !

the short cut for philosophers to read others synopses of their works !

a short cut for dealing with the voluminous works of a film director or writer is to research their lives rather than wade through every last item of their works

the short cut for philosophers to read others synopses of their works

a short cut for dealing with the voluminous works of a film director or writer is to research their lives rather than wade through every last item of their works !

a short cut for dealing with the voluminous works of a film director or writer is to research their lives rather than wade through every last item of their works

there's an intrinsic dynamic of incompetence i n  p o w e r  !

. .


o


(

there's an intrinsic dynamic of incompetence i n  p o w e r  !

there's an intrinsic dynamic of incompetence in power  !

there's an intrinsic dynamic of incompetence in power !

there's an intrinsic dynamic of incompetence in power


jesus a bloody good account of  what happened  at chernobyl !

the destruction of the dream of the soviet utopia !


nagarjuna says

“ the essence of things is to have no essence ,  it is their non-essence that is their essence !

for they have only one essence :  no - essence ”

that wordy manure gets passed down for eighteen hundred years

my clear rephrase

there is no essence  |  things have no essence  |  essential core

guess how long that is going to last ?

disk hernias  galore  !

look at the  mri   !

35 year old white male, 6'3" ,  was 320 lbs/145 kg, is now 265 lbs/ 120kg, he's still too heavy !

one of the problems with age is the tracks are cut too deep  !

you can't blaze new ones, only travel the existing ones  !

one of the problems with age is the tracks are cut too deep !

you can't blaze new ones, only travel the existing ones !

one of the problems with age is the tracks are cut too deep  !

you can't form new ones, only travel the existing ones  !

one of the problems with age is the tracks are cut too deep !

you can't form new ones, only travel the existing ones !

a co-translation by kevin platt and charles bernstein of osip mandelstam's poem written in 1912

hagia sophia  –  lord decreed

nations and kings shall stop here !

truly your cupola hangs, in the words of a witness,

as if by a chain from the heaven.

and for the ages ,  justinian’s example :

when diana of ephesus allowed

one hundred and seven green marble pillars

to be plundered for foreign gods.

but what was your generous maker thinking

when, in soul and concept high,

he arranged apses and exedrae

directing them west and east ?

beautiful temple, bathed in the world,

and forty windows  –  a triumph of light :

on the spandrels ,  beneath the cupola

four archangels  –  most beautiful of all

and the wise, spherical building

will outlast nations and ages,

and the seraphims’ resonant sobs

won’t warp dark gilt

what is most impressive about the  hagia sophia  (ed.  hagia is pronounced highya!)  is the absolute complete insanity of what it is a b o u t ,  a giant comic book in  3D ,  mosaics .  and paintings  ͟    ͟     ̱   ̱

why    travel    ? 

can you work this out ?

I    II    III 


“ the real problem is that you don't know what you don't know

you don't know the pieces you are missing

you may have   an inkling  of what you are looking for ,  but humans in general are very bad at discovering something that is actually lacking ”

too much school work can be a major factor in depression

japan is a nightmare for suicides from this !

it crowds out any reflection and contemplation in your life

too much school work can be a major factor in depression ,  japan is a nightmare for suicides from this !

it crowds out any reflection and contemplation in your life

too much school work can be a major factor in depression ,  japan is a nightmare for suicides from this !

too much school work can be a major factor in depression, japan is a nightmare for suicides from this !

it's a bit of an art to write honestly without getting people too upset ,  in all my writings i have only ever had one complaint !

just that afghanistan veteran who was a zen buddhist ,  didn't like what i said about him

the one with  a wasted  enlightenment experience

jason dafonte s a y s

people are always getting upset with your writing tho

saying they can't understand, that's not a complaint ?

my

r e p l y

yeah but they don't ask for it to be removed, meaning they really like it up despite their not being able to understand it, even that afghanistan veteran still kept up his writing i linked too !

it's a bit of an art to write honestly without getting people too upset ,  in all my writings i have only ever had one complaint !

the one with  a wasted  enlightenment experience

the reality of japan's  war effort  is they had a huge infectious disease problem and a totally incompetent high command !

fukushima shows the incompetence aspect hasn't changed !

as far as  “ zen understanding ”  goes ,  women  (ed.  marriage, relationship)  and true understanding are not very compatible

not saying zen/celibacy is better ,  just a different life

in fact zen may be worse ! :o(

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that !

:


o


(


)

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that !

:


o


(

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that

:


o


(

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that !

:  o  (

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that !

: o (

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that !

i seem to live a life where everyone is weltering in hubricity and i am supposed to help them for a moment past that

a reddit lifeprotips  r e q u e s t

“ how to avoid jumping to conclusions ”

my

r e p l y

yeah, i have this problem too !

just let some time go by and then some more ! :o)

investigation is needed as well !

the odd thing is that the initial conclusion jumped to may be quite right but you have to go through several inversions of viewpoint to arrive at a more balanced picture and that is still a half way house !

gesshin has gone back to japan to  continue  her japanese language course ,  it's interesting how a single wrong idea can pivot one's life into the truely crazily stupid . .

in her case it's this sentiment she expressed

“ but I think far more important than prohibiting someone from doing something you think is wrong is encouraging people to take responsibility for their own ethical choices ”

the true zen is actually the complete opposite, it hearing what you don't want to hear  (gesshin removes my posts from her blog)  and walking away from the craziness of this obfuscating world !

the net is very selective for  “ borderline personality disorder ” most of whom get in a tizz for anything with a reading age of above 5 !

poem  by izumi shikibu

“ telling someone to  ‘ go and cut reeds on a mountain ! ’  was a way of telling them to  ‘ get lost ! ’  as the task was impossible  –  reeds not growing on mountains ”

“ Go and cut reeds ! ”

I will not think it  –  on that mountain

peak  all  that

grows  is

sadness ,  yet  I . . .

my  ‘ finish ’  of the poem

am  bathed  in  its  subtle  joy

ask reddit 

There are tons of gingers . . . . . like I mean an entire village of red bearded men.  But that's the thing it was only the men who had it, or so I thought . . .

Then one day we were speaking to a group of village elders  (all gingers, well I guess half bloods since they just had the hair but no freckles)  about the stoning of a woman who's body was then left in the middle of the market

While the higher ups were talking to the elders, I was tasked with moving the body out of view until we could figure out what to do with it

I took her body over to a nearby  HMMVW  and her hood  ( It wasn't a burqa, I had never seen a hood like it before )  fell off and revealed a full bright red haired woman.  I couldn't even believe my eyes

For the next three months every time we saw a woman  (so like six times)  we would speculate how red her hair was.  I still to this day don't understand what was going on

it's all  a circus ,  i wouldn't get too judgmental, it's enough to keep clear of the flames ! :o)

eye changes are the most sensitive indicator for diabetes !

also the blood vessel pattern in the retina becomes more twisty, could be worth getting a retinal photo taken at an optometrist for comparison !

chromium   is very effective at reducing insulin resistance !

mike tyson  is  c l e a r l y  b r a i n  d a m a g e d

explains  a lot about his life !

interestingly the other participant in the interview, ronda rousey has a style of fighting to minimise hits to her head, very aggressive immediate start and a wrestling style . .

her mother  was the first american to win the world championships in judo ,  i think that sort of smarts takes several generations !

interestingly ronda rousey had speech apraxia as a child from being born with the umbical cord being wrapped around her neck !

this  stuff  is also used as the black pigment for tattoos !

“ My nineteen year old sister is trans  (MTF)  and has Asperger's  (not sure if this is relevant, but I thought I'd add it in case it is).  Recently and suddenly ,  she has stated that she has Body Integrity Identity Disorder, in which she feels she shouldn't have her legs nor her hearing

Initially, she couldn't pin down which limbs she felt this way about.  She seems to have figured it out as both of her legs now.  These symptoms are very interferent, and were non-existent less than a month ago

I'm just trying to understand a little better.  Part of me is curious if she has found comfort in not  “ being okay ” ,  which is something I feel might've been given a somehow positive reaction in our upbringing because I've had difficulties recovering from my own struggles with that thinking

Her symptoms of the BIID also started as things were getting on a productive path with her transition  (nearly six months into HRT, buying new clothes, very recent legal name change, etc.) ,  so that's why I'm wondering if there's a connection ”

my

r e p l i e s

basically regardless of her disposition to be female, the hrt is jimmying the actual developmental path of a male brain from conception, into female and for sure it's going to screw things up !

this whole mania for operations, hrt etc for trans young people is totally without regard to the long term health  consequences  of aborting one developmental path and promoting another . .

----------------------

male and female brains are structurally different as well as at the neuronal level ,  there's heaps of research on this now !

basically with HRT you have crashed a twenty year developmental pattern, it's not surprising that body integrity identity disorder has developed !

it may have always been there in the background, in fact the push to go fully trans may have been fuelled by this !

from  reddit   relationship_advice

you're young so you may not know this

your girl had already decided to fuck this guy before your break ,  he was the reason for the break

she gets to fuck around with no guilt

now, in the future anytime a girl tells you she wants a break or she needs space just dump the bitch because she's already picked out her new fuck buddy . . . . every time . . . always .

“ leaky gut”  is the gut walls becoming permeable due to microbiome toxins and antigens  (malign gut flora)

the gut wall gets damaged, you have an uncontrolled gut flora and the toxins and antigens get past the gut wall and damage the wall and rest of the body causing many metabolic issues !

N. C.    appears to be the name of the game with breakups, but in my view it's simply an acceptance that a person will no longer be a significant part of your life

and in reality one or both of the parties will have dodged a bullet and what is so bad about that ?

the insanity is the taking up of new relationships and placing your head in the way of another bullet !

basically the best way to handle it is to follow logic and practicality . .

emotionality and recrimination have no part, the separation has ensured a new null state ! : o)

enya and roma ryan have  a new release ,  it's not very good, two female brains r i p p e d  b y  m e n o p a u s e ?

ill or unhealthy cats can constantly shed toxoplasmosis, normally they only do for a week or so as kittens when intially infected ,  then become resistant !

from a human point of view it's way better to go through life without ever getting it !

raw goat's milk is another source of infection !

america has huge issue with adolescents and young men playing sports at a level of intensity that mature and experienced men are finding damaging with a consequence that there are an awful lot of concussive/brain and joint injuries about

the amazing thing is the way concussion and brain damage just seems to get no recognition for these young people

like just continue as usual ,  once people used to completely rest up for six months at least  !

there is a  “ let the doctor fix it ” pyschology but brain injuries can't be fixed by medicine and joint injury repair is very problematic  !

anti oxidants  accelerate  cancer !

this is because oxidants are both immune signallers and  “ the agents of destruction ”

if you have a health problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  either it's not solvable or you are looking at it the wrong way !

if you have a problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  either it's not solvable or you are looking at it the wrong way !

if you have a health problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  either it's not solvable or you are looking at it the wrong way

if you have a problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  either it's not solvable or you are looking at it the wrong way

if you have a health problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  you are trying to solve it the wrong way !

if you have a problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  you are trying to solve it the wrong way !

if you have a health problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  you are trying to solve it the wrong way

if you have a problem that is continuing on a downward trajectory no matter what you do  ,  you are trying to solve it the wrong way

we have broken up !

oh

why

?

the best reason  :  a number of reasons

relationship breakups are not something we are evolutionarily designed to cope with   ̱   ̱   ̱

it is in effect a sort of death ,  some -one will no longer be in your life in the same way   ̱   ̱   ̱

relationship breakups are not something we are evolutionarily designed to cope with  ̱   ̱   ̱

it is in effect a sort of death ,  some -one will no longer be in your life in the same way  ̱   ̱   ̱

c.  w r i t e s

not a very perky   post  are you alright / or just poetic ?

my

r e p l y

lol ,  got sick of all the rah rah facebook bullshit

insincerity is today's meme !

it is a poem, sorta goes backwards and forwards, more to it than meets the eye ,  sorta samuel beckett

i think this poem has two faces, like you will look at it and it will just skip off ,  or you will be in the mood to see what it is about and it will draw you in . .

c.  r e p l i e s

yes facebook is very rah rah

it is good for lost dogs though

my

r e p l y

it's the ones time loses that can't be recovered  .  .  ted ,  barney ,  bentley ,  toni ,  jock ,  jill  .  .

somethings it does no good to complain or even talk about !

:


o


(


)

somethings it does no good to complain or even talk about !

. .


o


)

somethings it does no good to complain or even talk about !

somethings it does no good to complain or even talk about

when visiting  hermits  or  ‘ centers ’  just aim to get along and be helpful !

people get upset over the most absurd things !

when visiting  hermits  or  ‘ centers ’  just aim to get along and be helpful  !  people get upset over the most absurd things !

when visiting  hermits  or  ‘ centers ’  just aim to get along and be helpful !  people get upset over the most absurd things !

when visiting hermits or  ‘ centers ’  just aim to get along and be helpful !  people get upset over the most absurd things

elephants have   one third   (ed.  good audio interview)   the cancer rate we do, but one hundred times the number of cells ,  so in theory they should have 100 times the cancer rate !

the reason they only have one third the cancer rate compared to us is they have 38 copies of the tumour suppressor gene p53 compared to our two !

there is even a human condition that has only one p53 gene  (li-fraumeni syndrome)  and a consequent   95%  lifetime cancer risk !

to me this is a vindication of the compendium immune and anti cancer strategy of increased apoptosis through the dual seleniums and immune stimulation by germanium, hydrogen peroxide and the like !

zen is basically to be stuck in the killing fields of your own stupidity !

:


o


(

zen is basically to be stuck in the killing fields of your own stupidity !

zen is basically to be stuck in the killing fields of your own stupidity

zen is basically to be caught on the killing fields of your own stupidity !

:


o


(

zen is basically to be caught on the killing fields of your own stupidity !

zen is basically to be caught on the killing fields of your own stupidity

“ every dog gets its day in the sun ”

except

me

i

wonder

why ?

“ every dog gets its day in the sun ”

except me

i

wonder

why ?

“ every dog gets its day in the sun ”

except me i wonder why ?

mr. robot ,  elliot ,  a treatise on   supercompetence and illusion really  ?  !

:


o


(

mr. robot ,  elliot ,  a treatise on   supercompetence   and illusion really ? !

:


o


(

mr. robot ,  elliot ,  a treatise on supercompetence and illusion really ? !

:


o


(

mr. robot ,  elliot ,  a treatise on super competence and illusion really ? !

:


o


(

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really ? !

:


o


(

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really ? !

:


o


(


)

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really ? !

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really ! ?

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really !

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really ?

mr. robot, elliot, a treatise on super competence and illusion really

the   real mr. robot ,  only it turned out to be a trip through dante's  h e l l  !


why can't i cry when things go bad why can't i cry ?

v2

why can't i cry when things go bad why can't i cry

v1


why can't i cry

when

things

go

bad

why can't i cry ?

why can't i cry

when things go bad

why can't i cry ?

why can't i cry

when

things

go

bad

why can't i cry

why can't i cry

when things go bad

why can't i cry

i notice that health boards tend to group under some schema or other, iodine, medicine, scd, with brittle and stupid owners !

i notice that health boards tend to group under some schema, iodine, medicine, scd, with brittle and stupid owners !

message boards and blogs/ blogs and message boards have an underlying assumption that is an emergent property of their function /the way they function

on reddit zen everyone is equal ,  on the hardcore zen blog everyone is equal except brad warner is a bit more equal  : o)  and on the 7thzenpatriarch blog the assumption is i basically know what i am on about !

so the thing is, that by assuming  ‘ i/andrew know what i am on about ’  we avoid the endless fruitless arguing of which reddit zen is a good example of, the pointless to and fro about basic areas that none of the participants are malleable on !

message boards and blogs/ blogs and message boards have an underlying assumption that is an emergent property of its function /the way they function

on reddit zen everyone is equal, on the hardcore zen blog everyone is equal except brad warner is a bit more equal  : o)  and on the 7thzenpatriarch blog the assumption is i basically know what i am on about !

so the thing is, that by assuming  ‘ i/andrew know what i am on about ’  we avoid the endless fruitless arguing of which reddit zen is a good example of, the pointless to and fro about basic areas that none of the participants are malleable on !

i notice that health boards tend to group under some schema, iodine, medicine, scd, with brittle and stupid owners !


viruses as a rule now are not that destructive, simply trying to embed something of their own for whatever reason or other and don't directly target important data

ransomware on the other hand is all out to lock up your important data, VERY VERY directed so basically imo it's the most important threat to guard against and that means offline or cloud storage, which in my case is a usb stick that is pulled out of the computer when not being downloaded to !

apparently in a lot/most cases of a ransomware infection, the originator of the ransomware can't even unlock it !

“ my iron is very high, i was having macular edema problems but i've donated blood three times and my vision has improved drastically ”

“ the whites of my eyes get yellow when i'm at work, unsure of why ”

traffic fumes impairing liver function ?  mild jaundice ?

“ no sex, no girlfriend ”

yeah you got that right ! : o )

in actual fact being that close to someone is to impose their viruses etc on you and you have no   ‘ headroom ’  to accomodate that !

just have a rule ,  no alcohol except in cooking

head jutting forward puts too much off center weight on the cervical spine, big trouble !

your bed could be too soft, hips sinking in too much ?

liver once a week

shiitake mushrooms i find difficult to digest

i take half a pill of magnesium taurate a day, you could cut it into quarters ?

the usa diet can be high in selenium, you may not need it !

just use hydrogen peroxide when necesssary

vitamin D is better taken daily  (smaller dose?)

i don't do iodine daily at all !

“ more antipsychotic treatment was associated with  smaller  gray matter volumes

progressive decrement in white matter volume was most evident among patients who received more antipsychotic treatment ”

jason  w r i t e s

i just finished watching lars von trier's  ‘ nymphomaniac ’  and i have to say it is a really good movie i think i'll have to watch it over again when i'm older ,  like when i read through old comments on the 7th patriarch blog and new things are revealed

the main character at one point is called to climb a mountain and is confronted with her   soul tree ,  something she had been looking for

my

r e p l y

we all have our soul trees, mine is a gum up on mt. duncan in the dial ranges !

the nearest thing i will ever get to traveling in a spaceship and   looking out  the porthole ?

the nearest thing i will ever get to traveling in a spaceship and   looking out  the porthole?

a PM i sent to the new CEO of reddit  (marty weiner 2015) ,  lost in cyberpsace forever i am sure !

reddit should charge people to downvote !

people never upvote except for flakey drivel that they agree with and downvote compulsively on anything with sense !

this is giving a huge cretinizing heft to reddit . .

like the morons editing  upvoted  : o )

it just needs to protect intelligence from the zombi-ish   “ hoi polloi ”  who never lift their heads from drugs, alcohol, medications, sitcoms, games and porn !

these people only cost you funding and income through tarnishing reddit's reputation yet not only does reddit free carry them, it protects and promotes them !

i'm all for free speech, just don't give those with a five year old's reading age and comprehension ak-47s !

the winner is

 monopoly in relationships

from perusing reddit askdocs and medical over half a year ?  it's apparent there is an absolute explosion of  STDs  occuring ,  i think the sixties and the introduction of easy female contraception were a benign hyper sexual period but the reality has changed again and maybe it takes a generation for the message to get through ?

from perusing reddit askdocs and medical it's apparent there is an absolute explosion of  STDs  occuring, i think the sixties and the introduction of easy female contraception were a benign hyper sexual period but the reality has changed again and maybe it takes a generation for the message to get through ?

from perusing reddit askdocs and medical it's apparent there is an absolute explosion of  STDs  occuring, i think the sixties and the introduction of easy female contraception were a benign hyper sexual period but the reality has changed again and maybe it takes a generation for the message to get through ?

too much vitamin D is as bad is too little !

too much vitamin D is as bad is too little


years ago driving in the kakadu national park i looked up at some rock spires and oddly felt called to climb one ,  this i did and at the top were aboriginal paintings on a rock wall along a ledge, really at the top of the spire and inaccessible . .

i talked to a young tasmanian ranger about this several days later and she thought she knew the place and i shouldn't have gone there

i didn't reply, but thinking about it, i was invited, by the dead?  but actually there are no dead in the dream time !


sex gets a lot of hormones going in the female brain

a huge number of healthy metabolic changes, makes one question the wisdom of being a nun !

sti's are  endemic  these days tho, be careful !

----------------------

postcoital  dysphoria  or  “ post-sex blues ”  is characterized by tearfulness, a sense of melancholy or depression, anxiety, agitation, or aggression following sexual intercourse

----------------------

“ the female body needs to navigate a tricky dilemma ,  in order to protect itself ,  the body needs to defend against foreign invaders

but if it applies that logic to sperm or a fetus, then pregnancy can't occur

the  shifts in immunity  that women experience from sex may be a response to this problem ”

the problem with borderline personality disorder  i s  i t's  inherently suicidal  ͟     ̱  .  there's no bottom line ,  you can't speak in terms of them making things easier for themselves or you

they simply reach past that to their own death  !  !

the problem with borderline personality disorder  i s  i t's  inherently suicidal  ͟     ̱  .  there's no bottom line ,  you can't speak in terms of them making things easier for themselves or you

they simply reach past that to their own death

the problem with borderline personality disorder  i s  i t's  inherently suicidal ,  there's no bottom line ,  you can't speak in terms of them making things easier for themselves or you

they simply reach past that to their own death

the problem with borderline personality disorder  i s  i t's  inherently suicidal,  there's no bottom line ,  you can't speak in terms of them making things easier for themselves or you

they simply reach past that to their own death

the problem with borderline personality disorder  i s  i t's  inherently suicidal, there's no bottom line ,  you can't speak in terms of them making things easier for themselves or you

they simply reach past that to their own death

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets and mystics are the not adding

philosophy is the adding lost in discursion

life simply does not add up

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets and mystics are the not adding

philosophy is the adding lost in discursion

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets and mystics are the not adding

philosophy is the adding lost in discursion

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets are the not adding

philosophy is the adding lost in discursion !

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets are the not adding

philosophy is the adding lost in discursion

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

poetry and the lives of the poets are the not adding

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition !

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

religion is an attempt to create the illusion of addition

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

you can't get it to add

life simply does not add up

life simply does not add up !

life simply does not add up

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances !

:


o


(


)

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances !

:


o


(

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances !

: o ( )

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances !

: o (

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances !

couples who have broken up may as well talk to a brick wall as each other about their grievances

i have noticed that a lot of the people asking for advice on reddit askdocs and medical never seem to do any searching on their usually serious conditions but spend all their time playing games judging from their comment histories !

i was looking through   this  and at  2.05  suddenly started crying ,  that scene of the two hills against that sky ,  the desolate tundra plain and sparse trees captures some sense of  ‘ the goneness ’  of things

i was looking through   this  and at  2.05  suddenly started crying, that scene of the two hills against that sky, the desolate tundra plain and sparse trees captures some sense of  ‘ the goneness ’  of things

pyschs don't care about patient health ,  everybody on more than one med gets bad health problems from amplified side effects after a while !

pyschs don't care about patient health, everybody on more than one med gets bad health problems from amplified side effects after a while !

why are  conspiracy  theories so associated with schizophrenia ?

it's because they overweight  ‘ intention ’  compared to the unpredictable outcomes of the vicissitudes of real life !

a life lived as schizophrenic drags such an overweight in it's tail through a lack of testing that would give rise to a more predictive and consistent view of the universe !

why are conspiracy theories so associated with schizophrenia ?

it's because they overweight  ‘ intention ’  compared to the unpredictable outcomes of the vicissitudes of real life !

a life lived as schizophrenic drags such an overweight in it's tail through a lack of testing that would give rise to a more predictive and consistent view of the universe !

you don't think you are  schizophrenic  and the meditation has simply deepened your delusions ?

it's hard to understand both the effort to write  complete shit  and the confidence with which it is promoted   !

i guess this constitues a bad review  !  :  o  )

you don't think you are  schizophrenic  and the meditation has simply deepened your delusions ?

it's hard to understand both the effort to write  complete shit  and the confidence with which it is promoted   !

i guess this constitues a bad review ! : o )

adam ,  i know you and brad warner dislike each other , but you both have the same problem illustrated by the fact that both of your blogs are censored and remove some really high quality zen writing because it is too disconcerting for both of you and this consequently leads to a very distorted view of the universe . .

brad is crippled by nostalgia and you are crippled by a sort of sappy mendacity about the fuck hole that is zen !

jon  w r i t e s

I don't know ,  I was/am adverse to driving and girls due to bad experiences so I avoided them

so I didn't turn out as a regular person

seems like most people are doing normal people things

my

r e p l y

jon you are different because your brain is different !

you are never going to fit and who wants to fit in this sewer of life ?

safe driving is one of the most useful skills you can develop !

it would be very distressing to me if there were ghosts !

it would mean there was  no fucking end  to it !

“   both women stripped to the waist, the purpose of which was for unhindered movement  (ed.  duel with rapiers)  and to prevent any wounds from becoming septic

if a piece of cloth happened to be driven into a wound, even a minor wound, there was a good chance it could become infected  !

in an age before modern antibiotics ,  such an occurrence could lead to death ”

princess metternich is an   interesting   person  !

german aristocratic women seemed quite weaponized  !     I  II

a german female trait the romans complained about as well !

why then was nazi germany so slow to enlist female aid for war production when the third reich was bedevilled by insufficient tank, aircraft and material supply ?

jason a s k s

would you work real estate ?

would you have worked real estate ?

my

r e p l y

yeah could have or run an art gallery in hindsight i think

one of those two !

or

tried

writing ?

jonathon    writes

so it's all about developing your own thoughts instead of relying on someone else's

if you try to rely on someone else you will turn it into ideology

I tried to rely on a few people ,  one person in particular . . .  and I tried to rely on you but either you made it impossible for me or maybe I am just too dumb to understand you

my

r e p l y

the thing is and this is really what zen is about, there are these discrete events of insight that bring you along in understanding, without them you won't progress . .

until they happen you won't really believe it . .

99 %  of zen and religion is people making bullshit up because the road of this true insight is too hard and destructive !

nothing new about   rap  !

hmm ,  i'm low birth weight and very  untrusting  i have to say ,  both has seriously cost me ,  but also benefitted me at times !

actually i can be stupidily trusting at times too !

gullible actually !

:


o


(

if you ever want to see quite clearly the sort of pig the web is infested with ,  look at the hubric retard  big hominid

he likes his food, himself and has  constipation  ! :o)

there's a lot to be said for the web in building personal skills !

there's a lot to be said for the web in building personal skills

there's a lot to be said for the web in building skills !

there's a lot to be said for the web in building skills

it's illegal to eat beef in uttar pradesh state !

you can see the difference between india and pakistan, the police have  clamped down  on this !

humans have evolved  brushing their teeth ,  rather amazing to think of ,  like also having evolved sleeping in beds with frames to hold branches and leaves piled in for anti-parasitic matresses

yeah it's no defense in this life  to be good  !

you are out of the   nightmare ,  what would you want to have to do with anyone of breeding age ?

ed.  37 year old veteran with health problems gives his phone number to a 20 year old in a class  !

the original painting will have been quite a bit brighter and the colours different because of  age related  changes in the pigments and the varnish losing transparency etc !

the painting needs comprehensive   restoration ,  very expensive !

when you look at paintings that have been restored ,  there is a huge difference

it's even an issue with van gogh's paintings now !

xyz ,  you use computers and the web as a consumer ,  there's vast gulf between that and the skill level for well paying technical work in those areas

your current employment  (ed.  pizza delivery!)  is a trap in a very unhealthy environment with the continual exposure to traffic fumes

this is the big mistake people make on the web, it can absorb as much bullshit as can be thrown at it, but as for the real world . . .

there's a very expansive synergy between the net and rl if you keep that rigorous  “ in touch ”  with the real world . .

if you don't then places like reddit zen do very well as online psych wards . .

the schizophrenia of believing one's own bullshit .  . !

a  little  crumpled  old  man

sitting  in  front  of  a  woodheater   -   fire

beholden  to  nobody

beholden  to  everybody  !

a  little  crumpled  old  man

sitting  in  front  of  a  woodheater   -   fire

beholden  to  nobody

beholden  to  everybody

a little crumpled old man

sitting in front of a woodheater  -  fire

beholden to nobody

beholden to everybody


i see myself at night

a little crumpled up old man

sitting by the woodheater         ̱         fire

getting warm  ̱  .

a frost

o

u

t

s

i

d

e

depressed

a life too half wrong  .  ̱   ̱

i see myself at night

a little crumpled up old man

sitting by the woodheater

getting warm  ̱  .

a frost

o

u

t

s

i

d

e

depressed

a life too half wrong  .  ̱   ̱

i see myself at night

a little crumpled up old man

sitting by the woodheater

getting warm  ̱  .

a frost

o

u

t

s

i

d

e

depressed

a life too half wrong  .  ̱   ̱

i see myself at night

a little crumpled up old man

sitting by the woodheater

getting warm  ̱  .

a frost outside

depressed

a life too half wrong  .  ̱   ̱

jesus i am sounding like a zen poet

even worse !

i see myself at night

a little crumpled up old man

sitting by the woodheater

getting warm  ̱  .

a frost outside

depressed

a life too half wrong  .  ̱   ̱

my  r e p l y  t o  a   waka   by izumi shikibo

the morning star

the brightness of the supermoon

lighting the plains like day

one love underlies all

and

is

not

f

o

r

g

o

t

t

e

n !

the morning star

the brightness of the supermoon

lighting the plains like day

one love underlies all

and

is

not

f

o

r

g

o

t

t

e

n !

the morning star

the brightness of the supermoon

lighting the plain like day

this love underlies all

and

is

not

f

o

r

g

o

t

t

e

n !

the morning star

the brightness of the supermoon

lighting the plain like day

this love underlies all

and

is

not

f

o

r

g

o

t

t

e

n  !

the morning star

the brightness of the supermoon

lighting the plain like day

one love underlies all

and

is

not

f

o

r

g

o

t

t

e

n  !

dying ,  crying ,  mayhem  .  .  .

dying ,  crying ,  mayhem . . .

dying crying mayhem . . .

dying crying mayhem

electronics/computing  is very time and attention intensive and takes many years to build skills !

electronics/computing is very time and attention intensive and takes many years to build skills !

every now and then you read something    genuinely    funny  !

. .


o


)

working as a pizza delivery driver is an unhealthy trap !

. .


o


(


)

working as a pizza delivery driver is an unhealthy trap !

working as a pizza delivery driver is an unhealthy trap

pizza delivery is an unhealthy trap !

. .


o


(


)

pizza delivery is an unhealthy trap !

pizza delivery is an unhealthy trap

in the end work is only money, if you had the money you wouldn't work !

in the end work is only money, if you had the money you wouldn't work

the real zen is being open minded to what we don't want to hear !

the real zen is being open minded to what we don't want to hear

zakaj  w r i t e s

I think you're right that the psychedelic experience is not a genuine glimpse into the mystical, but what it can do for some people ,  is show them how crazy reality is and shakes the foundations of normalcy forever

it is unhealthy however like you say ,  also for psychological health ,  it triggers psychotic episodes and it can be hard to reassemble a functional picture of reality afterwards

----------------------

I did take many things but  LSD  was by far the most powerful experience

once it was like being god and the second time it was really a nightmare, maximum paranoia

never again!

a good quote by evelyn waugh from  ‘ brideshead revisited ’

I was aghast to realise that something within me, long sickening, had quietly died and felt as a husband might feel who, in the fourth year of his marriage, suddenly knew that he no longer had any desire, or tenderness, or esteem for a once  beloved wife;  no pleasure in her company;  no wish to please;  no curiosity about anything she might ever do or say or think;  no hope of setting things right, no self-reproach for the disaster . . .

I had played every scene in the domestic tragedy, had found the early tiffs become more frequent, the tears less affecting ,  the reconciliations less sweet ,  till they engendered a mood of aloofness and cool criticism and the growing conviction it was the loved one who was at fault


i found a  talk  by konrad marchaj  (ryushin)  and listened to it enough so as to draw a conclusion as to the real reason for his  “ s a c k i n g ”  from the abbacy at the mount tremper monastery in  january  2015 !

btw the title of the talk was  “ the unexpected rears its head ”  ,  eerily prophetic ! : o)

what interested me is i think that at that stage he had been influenced by taking ayahuasca and who knows what other drugs and his perspective had shifted to reflect these influences

the result was he was dissatisfied with the crummy crap  “taught”  at mt. tremper but even though trying to remove from that he was in turn captured by the extreme nullity of the  “buji”  view ,  that is he was propounding a very similar viewpoint to that of reddit zen ,  again this is interesting because of the connection of drug use !

from a practical perspective ,  i do not see that drug use gives the right sort of insight into the real mystical endeavor and while creating a dissatisfaction with conventional/social reality paradigms it creates its own form of idiot boundaries in this case an extreme and erroneous nullity !

alternatively i have seen drug use end in/create/generate an endless bullshit fog of clichés with a very aggressive defense when penetrated  !

to me the question with drug use cannot be extricated from  “ self medication ”  and the underlying demon that lays waste so many is  “ brain damage ”

konrad was becoming increasingly dissonant at mt. tremper ,  the whole business must have been very disturbing at the late age of 61 ,  to be tossed out like that with nothing despite the twenty two years of hard work put into the monastery  !

it did occur to me with   the seventh patriarch blog   and the onus on readers to generate their own retreat / contemplative time ,  that from a resource and quality of teaching point of view that the mount tremper monastery is well outclassed and in a difficult situation because of its high cost structure  !  i think escalating health and insurance costs are increasing the burden and the old zen center  ‘ turn up and work for your board ”  paradigm is failing

1:30am   this is what i think about late on a rainy night ,  much good it does me ! : o ( )

i really feel like  “ fuck what am i doing putting my time into this ”  !

for konrad to have spent  22  years wasting his time on bullshit  then progressing to seeing it's bullshit but still without a glimmer of the real truth is an unacceptable half way world  ̱   ̱   ̱   ̱ 

meiji zen is very flawed and poisons its practioners   !  !  !

----------------------

i think what is interesting about ayahuasca is there is a coherency to the visionary aspect

“ while the mushrooms were hallucinogenic she said the visions didn't really mean much to her  -  they were just fun, loopy visions of things.  ayahuasca, on the other hand was all about her, her past experiences, mental baggage and trauma, all dealt with in one 6 to 7 hour session ”

but it doesn't process in the required way from a mystical point of view !

ayahuasca is mildly neurotoxic ,  neurally apoptotic  and oxidatively stressful with continued daily use ,  but for most people may not be an out of the ordinary brain damaging  (or health)  hazard ,  unlike the tabacco purge  which can be fatal !

heart problems, severe asthma and some medications are  contraindications   ~   ecstasy can be fatal when mixed with ayahuasca

i guess i am saying trying it once or twice could be productive, i don't know, i don't even take asprin or drink coffee . .  and the  “ upper ”  from adding a level teaspoon of nestlé baking cocoa to hot milk fills me with foreboding of the trauma ! : o)

maybe konrad though was a bit old to be playing with that sort of fire, aging makes us much more fragile and vulnerable organisms !

----------------------

jason  r e p l i e s

I know this guy who took ayahuasca.  he's a hubric idiot

distant ,  thinking too much in his head or rather a wrong thinking

thought he was better than everyone around him, yet tried to act peaceful when I knew there was some sort of contempt under his breath

he looks like there's something wrong with him, and when I heard he went to do ayahuasca I knew that was it

I knew him before and he might've always been this way but I feel the drug exasperated it

so definite brain damage

definitely looks unhealthy ,  idk what he eats

my  r e p l y

yeah i had a feeling that konrad was missing something !

thanx for that reply, it's hard to get a balanced perspective on this ,  the net is so full of self promoting  b u l l s h i t  !

what i like about lisa cairns is her   forthright honesty   !

my

r e p l y

lol, the undercurrent is his offer to be a father  !  as if any money would ever be forthcoming !

you mean, she's sane for a woman ?

. .


o


(


)

you mean, she's sane for a woman ?

you mean, she's sane for a woman

i have noticed on reddit that there a considerable number of young men who have become permanently injured one way or another from accepting  “dares”  !

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies !

. .


o


)


(

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies

. .


o


)


(

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies !

: o ) (

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies !

: o )

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies !

infinity emerges from these poems and homilies

there's lots of forms of crippling ,  i was meaning from the mental/neural point of view !

there's lots of forms of crippling, i was meaning from the mental/neural point of view !

there's lots of forms of crippling ,  i was meaning from the mental/neural point of view

there's lots of forms of crippling, i was meaning from the mental/neural point of view

when someone is crippled ,  why shouldn't what they do be crippled ?

when someone is crippled, why shouldn't what they do be crippled ?

when someone is crippled, why shouldn't what they do be crippled

you're crippled ,  why shouldn't what you do be crippled ?

you're crippled, why shouldn't what you do be crippled ?

you're crippled, why shouldn't what you do be crippled


from my experience the important things when building a new desktop pc are

1.  absolutely forget overclocking !

2.  use enough ram  -  16 GB  for windows 10 with a speed range just above what what is needed to allow for a lifetime of parameter degradation

3.  use a large geometry MLC ssd like the samsung 850 pro ,  NOT the TLC evo !

there is nothing worth the pain of a corrupting or crashed OS disk !

4.  use a noctua heatsink with plenty of thermal headroom, the  NH-12US  is a good model !

5.  for non gaming applications dual core cpu's are quite adequate !

6.  don't go to the top of the line :   mid range asus or gigabyte motherboards and midrange or even lower range intel cpu's are where it's at !

7.  two monitors are better than  1  !

it just staggers me how avoidant people are of what jason described in   shikantaza

ceremonies, meditative  “ practices ” ,  koans all just to fill the time so that the real   “ shikantaza ”  doesn't impinge in their tiny brains !

personality changes always equals brain damage, dementia or alzheimers in some cases !

personality changes always equals brain damage, dementia or alzheimers in this  case  !

personality changes always equals brain damage !

personality changes always equals brain damage

“ you are immature ” 

apples mature ,  people don't !

“ you are immature ” 

apples mature, people don't !

“ you are immature ” 

apples mature, people don't

sepehr g.    w r i t e s

There is a strong Nietzschean element to Zen that cannot be ignored, Zakaj.  I think that's Andrew's point.

*  ed.  i think sepehr was responding to  this  post of zakaj's

nietzsche is best known for his statement  “ god is dead ” and general anti religionism

zakaj is just picking up one religious system after another so he doesn't have to deal directly with himself or do any work !  *

I went back to the NC mountains, and I realized the art people make of the geography, the slang words, the poetry, etc. it all becomes entangled with the place, like a multidimensional fluid mirror.  The point is not to simply be a passive participant that learns about the poetry, geography, or so forth, but to enact it through creative insight ,  inspiration . . .

By your own work . . .  and not a mirror-image of trying to grasp and regurgitate the work of others.

You have to learn to stand on your own, basically, not deriving a sense of security from the illusion of fixed relationships with others or so forth.  You must be your own man who walks amongst the mountains, oceans, forests, and etc. ,  and enacts/creates some kind of art, so that it becomes a part of the world too, forever in some fluid reverie of growing majesty . . . .

But one cannot do that by just imitating others.


before you escalate a situation think about the outcomes ,  are they beneficial or negative for you ?

usually they will be negative ,  escalation only pays very rarely as a strategy !

if you escalate to gratify a sense of self righteousness ,  it's your blood that will cover the floor !

before you escalate a situation think about the outcomes ,  are they beneficial or negative for you ?

usually they will be negative, escalation only pays very rarely as a strategy !

if you escalate to gratify a sense of self righteousness, it's your blood that will cover the floor !

reddit at its  best ,  drunk dude gets his hair used as a towel by a young woman, gets punched in the head by her boyfriend and bleats about them being in the wrong ! :o)

my

r e p l y

you escalated a situation that had only bad outcomes for you !

if he had hit you harder you could have been brain damaged and/or got your cervical spine screwed !

if you had hit the girls or him you could have been jailed, three witnesses against one !

courts generally favour female testimony over male btw !

chemirocha

i don't think anyone ever gets reconciled to taking wrong turnings in life !

i don't think one ever gets reconciled to taking wrong turnings in life !

i don't think one ever gets reconciled to taking a wrong turning in life !

i don't think one ever gets reconciled to wrong turnings in life !


what the bullshit of a religious/zen teacher  -  student relationship  gives rise too  !

they are inevitably sexual paradigms !

groomed and raped by  this  zen teacher ?

she makes an interesting point in another  post  about  “ enlightenment ”  having become/being a social construct in zen ,  the genuine article having been lost !

don't praise a person for their beauty, praise them for what they do !

a kisii   proverb ,  kenya !

an interesting study on relative grey matter volumes of the orbitofrontal cortex for pessimists and optimists !

I      II

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and merited pessimism

merited pessimism mainly !

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and merited pessimism

the pessimism mainly !

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and merited pessimism

pessimism mainly !

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and merited pessimism

pessimism mainly

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and merited pessimism

pessimism mainly !

i am a blend of unmerited optimism and pessimism

pessimism mainly

in many or all situations ,  to make something work for you ,  you have to withhold a piece of yourself !

in many or all situations, to make something work for you, you have to withhold a piece of yourself !

in many or all situations, to make something work for you, you have to withhold a piece of yourself

in many situations, to make something work for you, you have to withhold a piece of yourself !

if you say something after saying goodbye, it's not goodbye !

if you say something after saying goodbye, it's not goodbye

jason dafonte  w r i t e s

I remember when I was younger I would have poems come out of nowhere almost ,  but I didn't bother telling anyone around me because they wouldn't have cared or whatever

at some point when I was younger I said to myself   “ okay I'm going to forget most of these memories/feelings ” ,  it seems like many that I thought were lost are coming back

my

r e p l y

the slow repair ?

jason  a s k s

should I skip out on salad completely ?

my

r e p l y

i always eat salad ingredients slightly cooked !

jason  a s k s

why do you not write about politics ?

my

r e p l y

it's part of the larger context of history and social trends !

“ but there cannot be two skies ”

zakaj, there are two, three, five, one hundred, one hundred thousand  skies, you will never understand what i write will you ?

why can't you say publicly who this kashmir shaivism guru of yours is, i m e a n  . .    ?

why does it have to be private ?

you and he have got something to hide ?

he's into young boys or  600  women or something ?

: o )

tantric is just a sophisticated sex club, because you never do any   shikantaza   you are unaware of your true motives . .

----------------------

i'm familiar with lakshmanjoo and the kasmir shavism scene, lakshmanjoo is not too bad ,  but not enlightened whereas kabir was/is enlightened !

you really want to look at why you feel afraid to say publicly who this guru you follow is ,  what's the big deal ?

it's glaringly inconsistent to be posting on the 7th patriarch blog ,  yet follow this guru who you are afraid to mention publicly !

your basic problem is you do not understand or accept solipsism versus the collective paradigm, robert walser versus muktananada so to speak !

do you see you are dissing my years of experience in buddhism and what actually happens, again i ask what are you doing here and why can't you say who your  “guru”  is ?

zen is about seeing for yourself and being able to talk and write for yourself and not dishing up half done video  bullshit  !

we both know your guru is a fake which is why you won't say who he is !

you want to have your cake and eat it, some lineage where you can be a guru and sex pot, but unfortunately for you, you also have a very strong sense of what is authentic or not which means you understand i am authentic and he is not !

you have offered to leave this board ,  i would suggest that you really vote fully with your feet with what you promote which this month is kasmir shaivism and not come back here until your views have changed  (if they change) ,  it may be several years and i for one will not complain !

----------------------

zakaj finally fronts up with his  guru  !

you already know he's not enlightened !

he has your number for sure though !

from that web page of his

“ all the comments are to be moderated ,  ie  I have to approve them first before they are publicly displayed.  the reason to moderate the comments is mainly the presence of tons of fools all over this world, even in “spiritual environments”  ”

----------------------

zakaj ,  how can you claim you are making progress in meditation when you are digging yourself deeper in bullshit and completely lack self insight ?

you are just falling into the proxying trap !

i think the 7th zen patriarch blog basically has a didactic zen/mysticism purpose ,  your views in this area are too contrary for it to be anything but a hugely consuming waste of time for me, you have my writings on the web, i really do prefer life without contact from you, just one of those things !

as lakshmanjoo said there are millions, but one can bog you down forever to no effect ! :o)

sepehr you need to understand what is said here too !

the 7th zen patriarch blog and comments section are not reddit zen where everyone is equal and equally free to rant in a totally time consuming waste of time, i have better things to do and better claims on my time so the 7th patriarch blog assumes that i basically know what i am on about and moves from that position forwards . .


jason dafonte  w r i t e s

I'm doing shikantaza

an hour in the morning, or an hour in the afternoon, two hours at night possibly

I'll sit in a chair or lie on my hammock or bed and just let my mind go where ever it'd like to go, I've had a good amount of success so far by doing this

also I'm at the park right now

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

. .


o


(


)

this must be me !

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

. .


o


(

this must be me !

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

. .


o


(


)

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

. .


o


(

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

: o (

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !  : o (

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow !

life can have too many bitter pills to swallow

izumi  shikibu

why should it be

that in the same hues

they fall ,  yet

tears within my eyes

will not remain ?

my re-translation

why do autumn leaves

fall with the same hues

but tears spring from

different

causes ?

this guy on r/askdocs ,  25 ,  91 kilograms ,  4 years clean, but before that 8 years on meth, really aggressive stupid nick  “ MENACiNGLYFuRRyBALLS ”  asking about solutions for chronic insomnia, i recommended   folapro   which is a true folate unlike the synthetic ,  receptor punishing ,  folic acid so ubiquitous in supplements

well he turned like a  lamb  this supposed wolf, he was going to discuss my  suggestions  with his doctor !

p e o p l e !

robert walser ,  from   the robber

I've thought of myself a girl on several occasions because I like to polish shoes and find household tasks amusing.  There was once even a time when I insisted on mending a torn suit with my own hands.  And in winter I always light the heating stoves myself, as though this were the natural course of things

But of course I'm not a real girl.  Please give me a moment to consider all this would entail

The first thing that comes to mind is the question of whether I might possibly be a girl has never, never, not for a single moment, troubled me, rattled my bourgeois composure or made me unhappy

An absolutely by no means unhappy person stands before you, I'd like to put quite special emphasis on this, for I have never experienced sexual torment or distress, for I was never at a loss for quite simple methods of freeing myself from pressures

A rather curious, that is to say, important discovery for me was that it filled me with the most delightful gaiety to imagine myself someone's servant . . . . 

My nature, then, merely inclines me to treat people well, to be helpful and so forth.  Not long ago I carried with flabbergasting zeal a shopping bag full of new potatoes for a petit bourgeoise.  She'd have been perfectly able to tote it herself

Now my situation is this :  my particular nature also sometimes seeks, I've discovered, a mother, a teacher, that is, to express myself better, an unapproachable entity, a sort of goddess

At times I find the goddess in an instant, whereas at others it takes time before I'm able to imagine her, that is, find her bright, bountiful figure and sense her power

And to achieve a moment of human happiness, I must always first think up a story containing an encounter between myself and another person, whereby I am always the subordinate, obedient, sacrificing, scrutinized, and chaperoned party

There's more to it, of course, quite a lot, but this still sheds light on a few things

Many conclude it must be terribly easy to carry out a course of treatment, as it were, upon my person, but they're all gravely mistaken

For, the moment anyone seems ready to start lording and lecturing it over me, something within me begins to laugh, to jeer, and then, of course, respect is out of the question, and within the apparently worthless individual arises a superior one whom I never expel when he appears in me . . . .

“ can whisky aid digestion ? ” 

a small amount of alcohol with a meal, yes, i use cabernet sauvignon with cooking !

alcohol does not evaporate readily at most cooking temperatures !

“ watching the moon at midnight, solitary, mid-sky, I knew myself completely, nothing left out ”

izumi   shikibu

consistently  drinking fluids above 65°C increases the chances of oesophageal squamous cell carcinoma !

joan didion

“ I originally wanted to be an actress

I didn’t realize then that it’s the same impulse  (ed.  as  writing)

it’s make-believe  . . . 

the only difference being that a writer can do it all alone ”

no wonder the indian, tibetan and east asian religions are so heavy on  “reincarnation”  the way they screw people around wasting their lives, but even if there was reincarnation they would be wasting the next one !

no wonder the indian and tibetan religions are so heavy on  “reincarnation”  the way they screw people around wasting their lives, but even if there was reincarnation they would be wasting the next one !

there's nothing to say

or be

or

do

or

not

do

or

not

be

or

not

say !

the global workspace theory of conciousness is very like david hume's  “ bundle of perceptions ”

there is nothing to say

or be

or

do

or

not

do

there is nothing to say

or be

or

do

or

not

do

there is nothing to say

or be

or

do

or

not

do

there is nothing to say ,  or be ,  or do , or not do

there is nothing to say ,  or be or do or not do


there is nothing to say

or be

or

do

or

not

do


quite an effective  poem  by paul hardwick ,  july 2012

For Eileen Prunster

If       and I cannot

If I could stop time

at what spot would you

like it to stop

eileen's r e p l y

if i could choose a point in time to freeze frame

the point before conception . . .

aged 7 things started looking a bit too real

although of course you need that to survive

rot sets in then with choices your forced to make

because you live in the physical

and nothing ever takes you back to that innocence of fact

where anything is possible . . . ;o)

----------------------

pre/primary school age was dreamy

my  ‘ problem ’  is i have always preferred  the hyper real  to any sort of mundane reality !

my  ‘  problem ’  is i have always preferred  the hyper real  to any sort of mundane reality

my  ‘ problem ’  is i have always preferred the hyper real to any sort of mundane reality !

my  ‘  problem ’  is i have always preferred the hyper real to any sort of mundane reality

my problem is i have always preferred the hyper real to any sort of mundane reality !

my problem is i have always preferred the hyper real to any sort of mundane reality

one of the effects of grandmother  longevity  is the trailing promotion of male life length and this leads to a pronounced surplus of fertile males compared to fertile females !

this in turn created pair bonding since for the male, the competition for fertile females is so intense that to ensure paternity it's in his interests to focus on an exclusive relationship with one female !

why does today's sunlight

seem to linger so long ?

is it because tonight

begins a thousand years for us

in the realm above the clouds ?

a very good poem by the the emperor fushimi

from page 138 of the the absolutely fascinating   book

why does today's sunlight

seem to linger so long ?

is it because tonight

begins a thousand years for us

in the realm above the clouds

a very good poem by the the emperor fushimi

from page 138 of the the absolutely fascinating   book

why does today's sunlight

seem to linger so long ?

is it because tonight

begins a thousand years for us

in the realm above the clouds

a very good poem by the emperor fushimi

from page 138 of the absolutely fascinating   book

why does today's sunlight

seem to linger so long ?

is it because tonight

begins a thousand years for us

in the realm above the clouds ?

a very good poem by the emperor fushimi

let me cry to death ,  slowly into the black pit  d e s c e n d i n g !

let me cry to death ,  slowly into the black pit  d e s c e n d i n g

let me cry to death ,  slowly into the black pit descending !

let me cry to death ,  slowly into the black pit descending

let me cry to death

s l o w l y into

the black pit descending !

let me cry to death

s l o w l y into

the black pit descending

let me cry to death

s

l

o

w

l

y

into

the

black

pit descending !

let me cry to death

s

l

o

w

l

y

into

the

black

pit descending

huh, a woman  having a male child  decreases her chances of alzheimers !

huh, a woman having a male child decreases her chances of alzheimers !


cast in the void of no meaning

adrift in the spheres of futility

the blank waves lap on a rocky shore

the hollow shells resonate without laughter

the grime of life peppers the beaches

hollow visages peer  m o c k i n g l y

cast in the void of no meaning

adrift in the spheres of futility

the blank waves lap on a depleted shore

the hollow shells resonate without laughter

the grime of life peppers the beaches

hollow visages peer  m o c k i n g l y

eileen writes a very  ‘ zen ’    poem


about six months ago i stupidly  (yes it's always stupid, but particularly so since i had left the broken glass plate out where it could be trodden on for months ! )  and cut my right big toe, very deeply, perhaps almost through to the bone . .

anyway i thought of supergluing it but didn't in the end and that was likely a big mistake as the cut became infected with a bacteria that makes a green pigment so i had the benefit of knowing that it was likely pseudomonas aeruginosa and this is where the real warning came from my research, it is one of the bacteria that can cause osteomyelitis !

it took me maybe three or four topical dosings of  35%   hydrogen peroxide    to defeat the infection, at this point i think i am past the risk of osteo, for sure osteo is frightening because bone infections are the devil to defeat !

anyway the point of this ramble is to use superglue next time and there are two informative videos below !

I            II

martin hetzer of the salk institute

“ based on our  findings ,  we would define aging as an organ-specific deterioration of the cellular proteome ”

my  c o m m e n t

an interesting perspective, they highlight the brain because

“ most neurons in the adult brain are non-dividing cells that must survive for an organism's entire lifetime, so the longer-lived proteins in the brain are more vulnerable to the accumulation of damage and loss of function over time ”

the more experience i have of people like those on reddit zen and perhaps at least  50%  of reddit, you just have to wonder at the supreme rigidity and stupidity . .

obviously accumulated brain damage nixing any ability for functional cognitive c h a n g e

it's an evolutionary design fault and explains the constant violence of history ,  by age  25  the cognitive style and content is set and there is no changing what the paradigms for handling life are, but the outside world shifts and needs new responses ,  but those in power have to be toppled rather than left to their own adjustment because there simply is n o n e ! . .

i think i am definitely beyond my expected life span because of the supplements and diet, but still it just seems an endless road of work  and difficulty  ahead  !

: o ( )

i think i am definitely beyond my expected life span because of the supplements and diet, but still it just seems an endless road of work  and difficulty  ahead !

: o ( )

i think i am definitely beyond my expected life span because of the supplements and diet, but still it just seems an endless road of work ahead !

: o ( )

i think i am definitely beyond my expected life span because of the supplements and diet, but still it just seems an endless road of work ahead !

i think i am definitely beyond my expected life span because of the supplements and diet, but still it just seems an endless road of work ahead

since reincarnation is a fiction i don't see why a fiction squared is without validity ! :o)

ed.  my reply to a guy writing he was sitting in front of a computer in his underwear and why couldn't he be the reincarnated jesus sitting there, watching you tube ?

people who think asynchronicity works for them in life are mistaken !

people who think asynchronicity works for them in life are mistaken

if you think asynchronicity works for you in life you are mistaken !

if you think asynchronicity works for you in life you are mistaken


the basic problem of zen and mysticism is that life is infinitely dense in all directions and it consumes us ,  often in quite pertinent and interesting directions, great art, writing, being an artist or writer, humanitarian and environmental projects, family ,  children, it goes in all directions onward and onward forever . .

from the mystical and zen point of view is there any short cut giving complete resolution . .

yes there is, realized by very few and claimed by many  .

i am not sure there is  “ enlightenment ’  per say, but there is an envelopment within this resolution !

. .


o


)

the basic problem of zen and mysticism is that life is infinitely dense in all directions and it consumes us ,  often in quite pertinent and interesting directions, great art, writing, being an artist or writer, humanitarian and environmental projects, family ,  children, it goes in all directions onward and onward forever . .

from the mystical and zen point of view is there any short cut giving complete resolution . .

yes there is, realized by very few and claimed by many  .

i am not sure there is  ‘ enlightenment ”  per say, but there is an envelopment within this resolution !

. .


o


)

fascinating   story ,  i never realised that herman melville's story had a real basis !

and the cabin boy's account being discovered in 1960 !

hashihime  (the lady of the bridge and daughter of the guardian of the bridge)  asked her lover for some wakame  (edible seaweed) ,  thereupon he travelled quite a distance to the sea at ise and drowned there, gathering the wakame !

she went to ise and met his ghost but returned to uji and the bridge !

borderline personalities feast on the corpses of the more empathetic   ! 

. .


o


(

borderline personalities feast on the corpses of the more empathetic   ! 

: o (

borderline personalities feast on the corpses of the more empathetic !

: o (

borderline personalities feast on the corpses of the more empathetic !

borderline personalities feast on the corpses of the more empathetic

our problem is life is too short !

if you live things in a conventional way it's going to be a disaster and you are not going to see much !

our problem is life is too short !

if you live things in a conventional way it's going to be a disaster

pygmalion in the end is always treacherous   ! 

pygmalion in the end is always treacherous  !

pygmalion in the end is always treacherous !

pygmalion in the end is always treacherous

“ check behind the sofa and under the bed   for your self respect ,  dust it off, put it back on ”

“ check behind the sofa and under the bed for your self respect, dust it off, put it back on ”

sometimes rejection works for you, sometimes it doesn't !

you

just

have to

work

out

which

is

which !

: o (

sometimes rejection works for you, sometimes it doesn't !

you

just

have to

work

out

which

is

which !

when you read this sort of  thing  you know religion is dr. tarr and professor fether  !

. .


o


(

when you read this sort of  thing  you know religion is dr. tarr and professor fether !

. .


o


(

when you read this sort of  thing  you know religion is dr. tarr and professor fether !

: o (

when you read this sort of  thing  you know religion is dr. tarr and professor fether !

when you read this sort of  thing  you know religion is dr. tarr and professor fether

kuppajava  w r i t e s  on  r/electronic_cigarette

I have seen this once personally  (ed.  women changing drastically over time in an unpredictable way)  and quite a few times to other people.  As the years go by you see people who  “seemed”  normal completely change once they get married, especially if they had kids, and it is something you could not have predicted otherwise.  In my case, I did see red flags in retrospect, but they seemed cute while her and I were dating

Luckily 20 years later I know the one I am with now and know who I am now well enough for it to no longer be a problem, but that would all have gone out the window had we decided to have children, I can guarantee you that

senorsalsa  a s k s

And . . .  What were those red flags ?  Let me learn from your mistake kind stranger

kuppajava  r e p l i e s

Ok :

If someone tries to hide what pills they are taking, it is not just a privacy thing, there is a reason

If someone is playing crazy, and seems good at it, think about if they are really kidding

lithium   is medicine for serious mental illness

If someone cries on the second date when you say that you don't want children, but shortly later lets it go and goes back to laughing and having fun, they do not respect your decision and assume they can change you

Someone telling you they want a baby even to the point of saying  “ just give me one even if you don't want to stay together, just for me ”  means a spawn-crazy future where they will never drop it and always try to get you to impregnate them

Naming inanimate objects is adorable unless she actually thinks they are individuals.  This seems cute but it is a sign of a SERIOUS mental issue !

Claiming ownership of you or any of your body parts even if said in a cute way is dangerous later.  She isn't kidding !

Playful argument or hitting will not stay playful over time

If a woman hits a man, and people see the mark on him, they will assume you hit her for whatever reason and made it not show even if you never raised a hand to her

If everyone else in her life has been abusive, it may be because she hits them and forgets to tell that part when telling the story

Sometimes crazy people hit other people around them but they never remember that part when it comes up

If you meet her exes and they seem nice but try to warn you that she is crazy, don't assume they are just dicks or are lying

Even tiny people who aren't very strong can hurt you physically if you aren't allowed to defend yourself and they aim for the nose over and over again

If someone in a relationship abuses you physically even playfully, they WILL do it again not playfully, and will never claim responsibility for their actions

These are just a few off the top of my head, I will try to come back later and list out some more.  The point is that if quirky and cute become weird and obsessive, it is not just girls being girls, they are the signs of a frightening future if you let the hooks go in.  Normal women do not even joke about things like that !  All of that being said, if you are with someone who is abusive and crazy and don't leave immediately, you are part of the problem most likely and should seek out treatment or therapy AFTER you leave them.  Once you do leave, NEVER go back, they almost certainly haven't changed

Finally, if you are going down a path and realize you are going the wrong way, no matter how far you have gone down that path, TURN BACK !

this was back in the early 90's but things like that just don't fade, I guess.  Abusive people aren't any one gender, but I think since women tend to be smaller and have less fight experience, people just assume it can't happen or that they can't really hurt men, which is bullshit

TheDedicatedDeist  r e p l i e s

“ Claiming ownership of you or any of your body parts even if said in a cute way is dangerous later.  She isn't kidding ! ”

I say this stuff jokingly all the time.  “That's my p00n nigga”  Am a male though, so it might not work both ways

“ If you meet her exes and they seem nice but try to warn you that she is crazy, don't assume they are just dicks or are lying ”

THIS.  THIS.  THIS.  Last chick I dated is currently a semi-homeless WEED addict.  I don't even know how you get addicted to weed.  Her last boyfriend literally approached me in public and told me that I'm walking in fire.  I chose the pussy over logic tho

My important ones :

If they  “ don't get along well with other girls ”  it's for a reason

If you're constantly encouraged to approach, fight or yell at other dudes from her, it's bad

Cutting.  I've known women from ages 12-30 who cut.  This is not something normal and there is a huge chance you're walking on fire

If her friends change like clothes, it means she's crazy

Her relationship with her parents is as important as your relationship to your parents are, seriously consider that.  It effects everything

If she's ever short tempered with her parents  (besides being annoyed slightly) ,  and they are not mentally ill, stop

The most illuminating information in the world is within her text message inbox.  If she freaks out when you're on her phone, it's a big deal

“ discouraged people who stand dully upon a brilliant plane, in charge of masterpieces but not themselves inspired ”

saul bellow on university english departments

I     II

lovelier than a lily

this woman

beside me !

lovelier than a lily

this woman

beside me


on the 15th day of the second month, bright moonlight spilling everywhere, i went to a late service at the temple in   sembon   quietly taking up a position only to have a very good looking woman in upper class dress make her way over to me and sit down leaning against my knee, so close i was worried her perfume would embarrassingly transfer to my robe, so i moved away to the side, but she edged up to me again !

i finally got up !

ed.  this turned out to be a trick played on him by a noble woman and her lady in waiting also at the service !

taken from section  238 ,  article 7  of yoshida kenko's  ‘ dream ramblings ’  or   ‘ tsurezuregusa ’

my

r e p l y

lovelier than a lily

this

woman

beside

me

lovelier than a lily

this

woman

beside

me

lovelier than a lily

this woman

beside me

lovelier than a lily

this woman

beside

me


buddha  :  a sententious old fart

jesus  :  manic depressive

muhammad  :  public serial killer !

buddha  :  a sententious old fart

jesus  :  manic depressive

muhammad  :  public serial killer !

a good  article  on the russian film director aleksei german

with the carbon dating of the parchment of the earliest known koran to be potentially before the supposed birth of muhammad then it looks like/ is looking like the koran is some sort of wisdom text relating either to a version of christianity or judaism and the euhemerized element of muhammad as an historical person was added after the koran came into existance !

when you see the huge crowds milling around the kaaba which is the place of the original shrine worship that islam evolved from ,  then you know something is wrong !

the egyptian pyramids are an eternal testament to the everlasting stupidity and proxying of religious avoidance of fundamental reality !

it's a sad thing to be born in this whirlpool of aggressive deceit and sophisticated con artistry and voynich !

this is the fourth breakup  (same relationship !)  and this time i looked closely at the ticket she gave me

“ get out of jail free ”

exactly the same as the first, second and third !

this time i am taking it !

eileen's

r e p l y

Yes I am setting you free although I didn't cage you

the only prison your in is of your own making....

Freedom ?

My love did not a prison make

it tried to set you free

but caged is what you always where

and where you'd rather be

and actually if anyone was caged by our  “ relationship ”  it was me you always had the upper hand and now I'm setting myself free

all your words to your zen buddies about being celibate while in not in a relationship wonder what they will make of your little homily it's rather revealing of your dishonesty but I'm sure some voynich will come forth to suit

I don't see why you'd write such a thing but no surprises there ,  you and personal honesty never have gotten well acquainted

this is the fourth breakup  (same relationship !)  and this time i looked closely at the ticket she gave me

“ get out of jail free ”

exactly the same as the first, second and third !

this time i am taking it !

everyone is missionizing, the secret is to agree with them and share their interests !

“ you have more friends on facebook ”

lol

really ! : o ) ( ?

“ you have more friends on facebook ”

lol

really ! : o ( ) ?


“ each one that died did so as a martyr

they are blessed for sure ”

my  c o m m e n t

that's suicide vest thinking ,  the justification of the killing of innocents !

( ed.  12th september 2015;  at least 107 people were killed after a crane fell backwards in mecca's grand mosque either due to the boom and derrick mast being stowed too upright for the severe wind conditions or possibly a component failing in the luffing apparatus due to lightning )

the concept of martyr in islam has varied through out the ages, applying to those who died the plague or drowned or even women who died in childbirth but its basic use was to overcome the problem of the failure of god's justice which is an old philosophical problem that christianity also has ,  that since god is all powerful etc why do  the righteous  often fare so badly ,  e.g. warriors killed in battle, generous, religious and fair men become ill or have jobian disasters befall them etc

so since things obviously don't add up, you have to create an imaginary world where the righteous are rewarded and islam is very similar to christianty in this which is not surprising as islam is actually a modified form of syrian - persian christianity !

you might like to read   this  to get some perspective on your oversimplied views of what islam is !

early views of islam would not allow worship as a sufficient basis for matrydom since hypocrites can worship ,  that critieria alone must have kept the afterlife quite empty ! :o)

martrydom  is a particularly jihadist obsession and it is disturbing to see you swallow such nonsense so uncritically !

don't count your virgins before you break their hymens ! : o)

johanna lumley on twitter

I don’t do twitter ,  my agent does twitter for me but they sometimes write things as if I’ve written it

I don’t even have a mobile phone, I don’t know how to text  -  I know how to type though, I’m not a complete imbecile

I just don’t have it ;  your life is in danger when you’re going yap yap yap all the time

appendixes are  “ emergency ”  microbiome sources

never hit anyone or allow anyone to hit you on the spine, it is a blow to maim !

. .


o


(

never hit anyone or allow anyone to hit you on the spine, it is ablow to maim !

never hit anyone or allow anyone to hit you on the spine, it is ablow to maim

never hit anyone or allow anyone to hit you on the spine, it is a blow to maim


zakaj  w r i t e s

this morning I had some indigestion and I don't know why but a quote I heard a long time ago and never since suddenly appeared in my mind, by flaubert :

“ poetry is as precise a thing as geometry ”

it's really one of the best quotes I've ever heard to be honest, it tells a lot in a single sentence

maybe it's impossible to say more about poetry in a single sentence ?

anyway, I haven't thought of this quote in maybe 5 or 6 years and suddenly this morning during a difficult struggle with  constipation  in the bathroom it came back to me

it made me think of the seventh patriarch and I thought it could be reworked as :  poetry is the geometry of  i n f i n i t y

my

r e p l y

what you are looking for is a space is that is not contained

good

poetry

is

not

as

precise

as

geometry

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!

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o


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r/fake who requested writingremoved pm'ed me something to the effect of

‘ my teacher told me that if  “this practice”  doesn't move you to  “goodwill”  to others then you're doing it wrong ’ 

the other self kneecapping bullshit i have skipped, well he called me psychotic to put me in a category of those to whom goodwill need not be extended, these flakes/flakes always have escape clauses than enable them not to confront their personal dishonesty ! : o)

my

r e p l y

bottom line ,  this is all self taught, only an idiot would claim to be a teacher and only an idiot would claim to be taught !

you just imbibe populist crap and have no sense of quality reading or discernment, whatever dust hole you are in that you think is insight, there you will stay ! :o)

you had a genuine insight and got  “displaced”  from it ,  no groundwork in place and perhaps not disaffected or disappointed enough in life ! :o(

or maybe the drugs and alcohol fucked your brain too far ?

one of the consequences of drug use i have noticed is a highly boundarized view of things caked thick with hubricity !

ed.  he has asked for his  “ words to be removed ” ,  when the bottom line comes and the hubricity is pricked the fakes run for censorship !

however i am not in the business of punishing people so have removed his reddit nick and given an idea of his pm rather than actually quoting . .  the rest is in the public domain under the fair use section of the copyright act !

in a   nutshell ,  all the gospels are a rewrite of mark and mark is a fictional story !

brain meds and noopept are too close to the functional end of the metabolic chain to help with memory ,  you need to go back to the nutritional end for a broad spectrum effect !

try krill oil and quality eggs may also help for lecithin !

brain meds and noopept are too close to the functional end of the metabolic chain to help with memory ,  you need to go back to the nutritional end for a broad spectrum effect !

“ my grandfather and his men heading to the russian front

not one of them   returned  ”

jason  w r i t e s

yeah my vision is a lot better I think one more blood donation might be enough for now

seriously can you tell me why you think I'll never be enlightened  ?

I don't think it's fair for you to say that and then not back it up!

my  r e p l y

well actually i am doubtful that i am enlightened, then i just see what it means which is basically a certain sort of process and priorities and figure out that's what i am !

you donate blood, you're a blood donor, why do you think you are a blood donor ?

you are starting to embark on the process, maybe i don't mean you won't be enlightened in a unfriendly way . . it's hell and better to be blind than seeing . .  w e l l  . .  m a y b e ! : o )(

i do find it takes difficult life events to impel one .  . forward ! : o (


sarahsays  w r i t e s

I just have to tell you, that I've been trying this SCD diet for the past week and it seriously changed my life.  I've had no stomach issues  (which I normally do, when I eat)  and things have been normal.  I can't believe how much this diet changed things. Thank you so much for posting this link.  I'm probably going to keep staying on it  /  trying new recipes

my

r e p l y

that's great !

i have posted about the BCD and SCD diets on r/crohnsdisease, r/askdocs and r/medical where people post about the severity of their gastrointestinal problems and the bad side effects of the meds they take

but i get heavily downvoted or banned, so be aware the world is not necessarily friendly to this approach ,  preferring to remain in their  “medical box” stupor !

the BCD and SCD are an ongoing process of finesse to keep things working, a lifetime's work really !


“ So a day later I remember I had pretty made up my mind to pack my bags and leave  (ed.  from the ango at yokoji)  even though I didn't really have anywhere to go.  And then something awesome happened.  Not awesome as in awesome dude, awesome as in inspiring the sensation of awe.  It started to rain on that forest mountainside, big droplets that filled the treetops with sound and motion and hit the soil, releasing a myriad of different subtle scents

The sensation as it instantly struck me in my whole being is hard to explain.  It was the magnitude of like a rock concert or rave.  It was a level of awareness of my surroundings that I could only compare to the times I was in combat.  I thought at once that if meditation could open me up like this after just two weeks, I owed it to myself to keep going ”

so he gets a genuine   insight   and then the zen teacher  (tenshin fletcher ?)  screws it up for him !

----------------------

i let him know i put his writing up on this blog and from reading some other posts of his suggested it was a pity he got fucked up with clichés ! :o(

his reply asked me to say more about how the insight was spoiled, a mature response in my view and shall we say  ‘ atypical ”  of reddit with its very free swinging ban hammer ! :o)

my

r e p l y

the rain drops insight shows you that there is an energy that reflects a completely different and truer world

what you write and the way you think reflects the false energy of this fucked bunch/mass of fakeness world

it's only one in a million that ever understands, religion and that includes most of what passes as zen is just the usual proxing by idiots, for some reason you have voted to stay with them !

to follow the energy of those raindrops is a very difficult and isolated path . .

maybe you had enough of trauma in afghanistan ? :o )

you actually seem quite well adjusted ,  maybe you took just enough energy to get over some issues and then walked back !

----------------------

he replied with the usual duplicitous drivel ,  my r e p l y

god you're just another fucking bullshit artist like the rest on/r/zen

lying through your teeth and so stupid you can't even see you are lying !

you are just hubric, think you understand when you don't and use social consensus as your guide !

well i have never seen that work for anyone, it's its own punishment ,  you can  “ wait at the end of time ”  but there is no sea wall to keep the grief out !

----------------------

he    quotes/rewrites    an interesting observation of afghan sexual mores

It is important to query the source of this behavior, which by the way isn't limited to the wealthy :  the extreme cultural segregation of the genders in especially rural Afghanistan.  In other words ,  it's not because they're particularly homosexual ,  it's that women are so conspicuously gone from public view that men institute  “prison rules”  on a national scale

A classic triangle drama in Afghanistan is that an older man will take a boy as a lover/protegé, until he is too old to have the effimate charm to continue the sexual part of the relationship, and will then marry him to his daughter.  The intimacy of that relationship goes on though, and the daughter/wife is marginalized until her role is little more than being a housemaid and baby factory.  The now older man then takes on a boy in turn and the cycle continues

another    article

sepehr g. w r i t e s

the hundun of nightmares

all around me

but the nectar of peace

somewhere i can't see

my

r e p l y

the hundrun of nightmare

coils in my dreams

l e a k i n g

into my life

peace is an i l l u s i o n

kwan um zen was the most autistic of any of the zen centers i visited


ah, there have been several recent  posts  on reddit about small quantities of alcohol having very adverse and weird effects and today i came across    this

alcohol is a solvent !

in other words these people are somewhat into autoimmune problems and have dysfunctional intestinal tight junctions !

the other two outstanding health trends which are a rolling tsunami is multiple meds causing cognitive problems and people simply not understanding the notion of side effect multiplication caused by the interactions of many meds !

one reason may be that a molecule of one med can promote  the binding  of a molecule of another med to a receptor !

there will be a myriad of these potential malign synergies !

the other is a huge problem with joint injuries amongst young men from professional level working out and sports played with that sort of intensity !

when i was that age we were always taught to be very wary of injuries of that nature, partly because the state of surgery was such that those injuries were life long, but today the attitude is that oh, surgery and it will be back to new !

well surgery is a very mixed and expensive bag !

r/zen is a psych ward to keep the loonies out of circulation ,  you  (ed.  pickledpie wanting me to start posting on r/zen again)  will never escape ! :o)

you and r/zen are crazies

zen for you and the rest of /rzen is some amusement to distract yourselves from lives with other central interests

the real process of zen is not that sort of proxing but the real life as lived and is too disturbing for non celibates !

we disagree and the ways part !

please do not contact me again !

r/zen is a psych ward to keep the loonies out of circulation ,  you  (ed.  pickledpie wanting me to start posting on r/zen again)  will never escape ! :o)

you and r/zen are crazies

r/zen is a psych ward to keep the loonies out of circulation ,  you  (ed.  pickledpie)  will never escape ! :o)

precepts are typical of the problems of religion, proxying into nonsense !

the advantage and subtlety of nonsense is that while it can't be right, it can't be wrong, so everyone wastes their lives arguing endlessly which is the beauty of religion/religious proxies, a life spent frutilessly and you will never notice  .  .

precepts are typical of the  problems  of religion, proxying into nonsense !

precepts are typical of the problems of religion, proxying into nonsense

a good  analysis  of  “ the love song of alfred j. prufrock ”  by t.s eliot

this explanation opened up the poem hugely for me !

i'm old enough for it to sting ! :o)

a good  analysis  of  “ the love song of alfred j. prufrock ”  by t.s eliot


“ the novel I am constantly writing is always the same one, and it might be described as a variously sliced-up or torn-apart book of myself  ”

“ to the question :  how do the authors of sketches, stories and novels get along in life, the following answer can or must be given :  they are stragglers and they are down at heel ”

“ when we realize that words can destroy something good, wonderful, and dear, and that by keeping silent we can avoid causing the least damage or harm, it’s easy to stay silent ”

quotes by robert walser


moses is a makeover of dionysus ! :o(

I

II

in some ways, because the exodus  (hyksos !)  story is so deeply embedded in western culture, it's more rupturing than jesus being fictional !

sorta the disruption of a base if you will ! : o ) (


  so here am i

sitting in a chair

computer and a warm woodheater close by

waiting

waiting

for a  migraine  the full force of a hurricane  a p p r o a c h i n g

so much of my life has been like this

only now i am more measured and can take prophylactic action

8 days since i last painted my toes with povidine iodine

too long actually, i have now painted them and previously took 100 iu of vitamin E

some magnesium taurate

left off eating

  j u s t waiting   . . .

  so here am i

sitting in a chair

computer and a warm woodheater close by

waiting

waiting

for a migraine   the  full  force  of  a  hurricane   a p p r o a c h i n g

so much of my life has been like this

only now i am more measured and can take prophylactic action

8 days since i last painted my toes with povidine iodine

too long actually, i have now painted them and previously took 100 iu of vitamin E

some magnesium taurate

left off eating

  j u s t waiting   . . .

  so here am i

sitting in a chair

computer and a warm woodheater close by

waiting

waiting

for a migraine the full force of a hurricane  a p p r o a c h i n g

so much of my life has been like this

only now i am more measured and can take prophylactic action

8 days since i last painted my toes with povidine iodine

too long actually, i have now painted them and previously took 100 iu of vitamin E

some magnesium taurate

left off eating

  j u s t waiting   . . .

why   there  is  menopause

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing !

. .


o


(


)

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing !

. .


o


(

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing !

: o ( )

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing !

: o (

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing !

relationship is like going into a  MMA  ring and being certain of losing

health problems are never as black and white as we tend to think because so much of body functions tie into each other in terms of cause and effect !


“ is  decreased vitamin K  due to increased vitamin E and metabolites in bile ? ”

“ diminished levels of vitamin K forms  -  not high levels of vitamin E  -  could be the key factor in prostate cancer links ”

my  c o m m e n t

i think skin hyperthermia  (any area of the body !)  in combination with menaquinone vitamin K is very  successful  in significantly reducing prostate enlargement ! : o)


a good talk by chinua achebe   who reads from his book   “ things fall apart ”  on the occasion of his 78th birthday !

5  billion on the web ,  how many on   this blog  which is way the best zen around ?

jason dafonte r e p l i e s

6  on the blog ,  5  billion on the web

5  billion on the web ,  how many on   this blog  which is the best zen around ?

jason dafonte r e p l i e s

6  on the blog ,  5  billion on the web

5 billion on the web ,  how many on   this blog  which is way the best zen around ?

5 billion on the web ,  how many on   this blog  which is the best zen around ?

the number of people prepared to talk about bukowski or sufi poetry in a meaningful way is about 1 in ten million ,  i wouldn't let that connection disappear !

the number of people prepared to talk about bukowski or sufi poetry in a meaningful way is about 1 in ten million

jobs are all about networking !

eating potatoes and wheat flour based products hot keeps the starches much more digestible compared to cold !

‘ folapro ’  works very well if you are a person who gets  “ wired ”  and has trouble dropping off to sleep !

“ my dog got bit by a staffordshire bull terrier the other day, might lose its eye ”

people don't look after staffordshire bull terriers properly

when i was employed in electronics, i was always overfocused on the technical side and in hindsight should have paid a heap more attention to company politics !

everything i do i am bleeding to death

some people are doomed to live life truely . .

hard as the bleeding is to take, it is the only true seeing . .

everything i do i am bleeding to death

some people are doomed to live life truely . .

hard as the bleeding is to take, it is only the true seeing . .

sepehr, i have done quite a bit of scuba diving, fun but in the end i became concerned about embolism from microbubbles even within the tables and so stopped !

pity, it's fun ! :o)

i have had a checkered employment and  “ developer ”  career ,  once nearly becoming very wealthy but always i don't seem to be interested enough and flag things too early ,  ‘ infinity ’  is all that has ever interested me and it's a pity the world is so negative on it !

like you and zakaj i am facing the need to pay much more attention to the financial side of things, in a way i should probably suspend this board to do that but i am not quite there yet !

i do think the demand for good programmers is well outstripping supply and in your case also enables an inroad into conciousness or enviromental studies !

another reddit askdocs  f u c k w i t

Side effects of taking ecstasy going for too long.  What should I do ?

On August the 15th, me and a few friends went to a rave party.  It was my first time taking any kind of drugs.  A took one pill and after around two and a half hours I took half of a pill.  A few days after the party everything went normal for my friends however unfortunately not for me...

It's been almost 4 weeks now and i still have clenching teeth, I still feel light-headed, dizziness, off-balance, trouble concentrating and it is non-stop everyday.  I also feel a little bit weak, like i'm out of shape but at the same time i find myself keeping my legs or hands busy as if i'm impatient.  Sometimes i feel headache and shudders on the left side of my head.  Usually I'm not that kind of a kid but i don't know what took over me that night.  I'm definitely not going to let that happen again.

I am 24 years old.  Male.  70kg.  195cm

my

r e p l y

i think you have to treat it like a neurological injury, rest and take it easy and things should slowly improve, but it could be a while !

a quality krill oil will help the brain repair itself !

you have some  brain damage  and some will be permanent and some not !

“ MDMA does produce long-lasting changes to the serotonergic system at some doses

These long-term changes include decreases in brain concentrations of the neurotransmitter serotonin and its metabolite 5-hydroxyindoleacetic acid

Levels of tryptophan hydroxylase ,  the enzyme that begins the synthesis of 5-HT within the serotonergic nerve cell are decreased

There are also decreases in the density of the serotonin reuptake transporter, the protein on the membrane of serotonergic neurons that recycles released 5-HT by pulling it back into the cell ”

sepehr, if you are listening and you don't appear to be, i don't think you will persist with academic study, if simply that you can't cope with dissection !

your father is right, get a skill like optometry that gives you an income and if it doesn't stretch you, well you need that headroom just to survive !

you use the word  “ schizoid ”  to describe yourself, that's a rather dated terminology, is autistic or  “ asperger's syndrome ”  so repugnant to you ?